House of Pies Is the Perfect Place to Hit Up at 2 a.m. When You Need a Fine Slice of Goodness

houseopies.JPG
Photo by Kaitlin Steinberg
The House of Pies' Bayou Goo, left, is a crowd favorite, while the pecan, right, is made with Texas nuts.
I recently made a life-altering discovery. It's awesome. It's dangerous. It's dangerously awesome.

In a mere seven minutes, I can walk from my front door to the front door of House of Pies. In 20 minutes, tops, I can be snuggled up in bed in possession of far more pie than any one person should ingest in a single sitting.

It's amazing. It's horrible. I can't stop.

During the first few months I lived in the neighborhood, I avoided House of Pies. It looked, to me, like a glorified IHOP, a chain I detest. I figured that, as IHOP had done, it would take one of my favorite foods and turn it into mushy, flavorless cardboard with an $8 price tag. And I have no need for that.

But one Saturday evening, after a glass of wine and a Law & Order marathon with my cat, I found myself hungry at 2 a.m. So after debating the pros and cons of Taco Cabana versus House of Pies, I trekked across a couple of parking lots to the well-lit beacon and took a seat at the bar next to a young girl with green hair and her heavily tattooed mother. And I then ordered a lot of pie.

houseopies2.JPG
Photo by Kaitlin Steinberg
House of Pies has an extensive menu, and the crust is wonderful.
Admittedly, my expectations for the items on offer at House of Pies were low. I tend to prefer pies made by an elderly relative's loving hands to pie produced en masse for a crowd of people who are mostly under the influence of...something. I was not prepared to fall head over heels in love with House of Pies.

The first pie I tried came at the recommendation of my waitress: Bayou Goo. While the name might not sound terribly appealing (I get visions of sticky green swamp moss), the Bayou Goo is a masterful combination of crumbly pecan crust, a thin layer of slightly sweetened cream cheese, a layer of vanilla and chocolate swirled custard with bits of chopped pecan scattered throughout, a generous dollop of whipped cream and, finally, another sprinkling of pecans.

I was certain, certain, that the pie would be overly sweet and possess a crust that was neither flaky enough to break with my fork nor hardy enough to contain the multitude of gooey or juicy toppings within. I was wrong on both counts. Even the Bayou Goo, a custard-filled cream pie, had just the right amount of sweetness, and the crust stood up well under the heft of all those local Texas pecans. One pie in, and I was hooked.

I ordered two more slices that night -- cherry and pecan -- and though they weren't quite as good as the Bayou Goo, they continued to exceed my expectations. After I walked (or, rather, waddled) back to my apartment, I sat down with my computer and did some research.

Location Info

House of Pies

3112 Kirby, Houston, TX

Category: Restaurant

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23 comments
Gorillaboss
Gorillaboss

There used to be a location on 1960-W (near Champions) up until the late '80s / early '90s with the same decor.

I believe forced widening of the roadway killed that site.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

Just don't ask them to split your ticket, you'll get an employee of theirs for 10+ years fired. We miss Max...

JayPFrancis1
JayPFrancis1

One time I smuggled a whole House of Pies German Chocolate Pie into the Houston International Film Festival and killed half of it by myself while watching three movies.

KaitlinS
KaitlinS topcommenter

I called House of Pies, and the gentleman I talked to previously explained that they were never in Montrose, he just felt like they were. I've made changes to reflect that House of Pies has always been right there on Kirby. Or at least, as long as we can collectively remember. Thanks for the corrections, all!

rexster
rexster

It's been the House of Guys at least since 1976 when I was working West U PD and would go there for breakfast with about 20 other cops. Going to the restroom was interesting due to the crossdressers either working there or as a customer

TedStickles
TedStickles

It's always been on Kirby and always been the House of Guys as far I know, could be wrong, though.

OhCmon
OhCmon

wow. This is like one of those "oblivious 8th-grader" internet memes come to life.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

@Gorillaboss 1960 and stuebner airline remember it fondly; the strip malls still there but the business dropped off enough to where they closed the HOP probably in '92..

KaitlinS
KaitlinS topcommenter

@TedStickles The folks who work there told me it used to be in Montrose.

goodtimes-virus
goodtimes-virus

@OhCmon exactly. i can't wait for kaitlin to discover the astrodome and tell us about it!  (although she better hurry, it might get demolished soon.) : )

rich5371
rich5371

@KaitlinS @OhCmon  Well done Kaitlin - I read @OhComon's comment and thought it was kind of snarky, then clicked on the link you provided and had to laugh.  Glad you gave HOP a chance, they're much better than IHOP or Denny's.  Choose character over chain whenever you get the chance, I always do (yes, I know HOP is a chain, but a small one compared to the other behemoths, with much more character any day of the week).

KaitlinS
KaitlinS topcommenter

Haha well I imagine a middle-aged Houstonian would know! I'm looking into it now.

goodtimes-virus
goodtimes-virus

@KaitlinS actually, forget i ever said anything about the astrodome.  i like the astrodome, so please don't write anything about it -- it's close enough to being demolished already.  i mean, just look what happened to hop after you wrote about them.  why not write something about the nashville titans?

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