Top 5 Smiley-Face Foods

Categories: Grocery Guide

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Photo by Joanna O'Leary
How can you turn down a grinning potato?
"Smile and the whole world smiles with you?" Actually, I prefer: "When your food smiles at you, you'll smile back." In a world of emoticon-heavy electronic correspondence, I should be positively sick of smiley-faces, but somehow that dopey grinning visage still cheers me up (albeit for a few seconds) if I'm having a challenging day. Even better is if that smiling face is edible! Here are my top 5 favorite smiley-face foods.

5. Earth's Best Organic Vanilla Smiley Snacks. Slightly sweet vanilla smiley snacks are supposedly "designed to help toddler learn to eat." Really? I know kids can be picky about food, but does the average three-year-old actually not understand how to bite, chew and swallow? I know I was eating clay at least by that age. Anyway, even adults will enjoy a refresher course on consumption if it's being taught by these cookies.

4. Walmart's Fruit Smiles. Available in lemon, grape, strawberry and orange flavors, these gummy grins have won rave reviews for their "real" fruit taste. Be forewarned, however, that some suppliers have messed up the flavor distributions so you may find yourself with an imbalanced snack.

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Photo by Joanna O'Leary

3. Gerber Graduates Smiling Banana Cookies. How can you turn down a smiling banana [euphemism not intended]? Made with actual fruit, these crackers may be targeted toward children, but anyone, I say, can enjoy their strong banana flavor and sweet grainy crunch.

2. McCain Smiles. I know why these fries are smiling. With a fluffy white mash interior and light, buttery brown exterior, Smiles offer potato grins that are good baked as well as fried and never greasy. Recently, however, I have been unable to find them in local supermarkets, though oddly they have emerged as a component in Michelina frozen meals.

1. Nabisco Giggles. Criticize me all you want for making the number one pick on this list a cookie that hasn't been available in more than a decade; I do so with the express intention of launching a campaign to lobby Nabisco to bring back Giggles. What made this dessert so delightful? Simply, a fatty layer of vanilla and chocolate cream sandwiched between two cookie faces that appeared to be guffawing hysterically. Oh, how I long for you, Giggles.



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2 comments
Francisco Muñiz-Belmares
Francisco Muñiz-Belmares

So you guys are just going to turn into Buzzfeed, only with a shittier page? Shit's so clunky.

jsoleary
jsoleary

@Francisco Muñiz-Belmares Thank you for this very specific, detailed critique.

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