Party Tonight with Sharknado-Themed Food

sharknado_large_verge_medium_landscape.jpg
Thursday night's forecast is cloudy with a chance of a tornado that is likely to lift sharks up out of the Pacific Ocean and deposit them in your living room.

Which is to say, SyFy's much-maligned (and instant cult classic) Sharknado will be shown on TV for the second time. When it first premiered on July 11, I didn't really know what to expect. Would the sharks be scary? Would the acting be scary? Would it be scary how much I enjoyed it? Yes, yes and, unfortunately, yes.

Tonight I am better prepared to feast my eyes on this cinematic masterpiece. And while I feast my eyes, I'd like to feast on something else that's apropos. In case you, too, want to host a Sharknado theme party, here are some treats that will get all of your guests (and by that, I mean me and my cat) in the mood for some awesomely terrible, terribly awesome cinema.

sushimiyagisharknado.jpg
Photo by Troy Fields for Houston Press
6. Seafood
First off, let's establish one thing: Sharks do not eat people. Sure, there might be the rare occasion in which a shark munches on a human limb, but generally speaking, sharks prefer other aquatic critters for dinner. And who can blame them? Fish are tasty. Especially raw, sushi-grade fish, which I imagine sharks eat quite a bit of. But man has superior intellect, so we do not need to hunt our prey quite like our Great White buddies. So head on over to your favorite sushi restaurant (I recommend Kata Robata or Sushi Miyagi) and get some stellar raw fish to go. If you feel like preparing something yourself, head to Louisiana Foods Total Catch Market and ask the expert, P.J. Stoops, what should be on the menu.

gummysharks.jpg
Photo by Rod Herrea
5. Gummy Sharks
I almost want to apologize for this one because it's so obvious. Almost. But gummy sharks (and gummy candy in general) are a weakness of mine, so gummy sharks are on the list. I'm honestly not entirely sure where one should go to purchase gummy sharks, as they always just seem to appear when they know I'm gonna need them. Any candy store or grocery with a bulk candy section should have them, but if DIY is more your thing, most craft stores carry candy molds that can be used, along with this recipe to make just about any gummy critter.

My Voice Nation Help
16 comments
gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

As though we needed further proof that HP's food section has gone to crap, we get this drivel. Fine journalism guys, really..

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Okay, number five looks like a bass-lure.

But  "I'd like to feast on something else that's apropos. In case you, too, want to host a Sharknado theme party, here are some treats that will get all of your guests (and by that, I mean me and my cat) in the mood for some awesomely terrible, terribly awesome cinema." is MONEY.

I'm gonna be laughing over that one all day, which always makes for interesting meetings and interviews.

KaitlinS
KaitlinS topcommenter

@gossamersixteen I'm completely fine with you critiquing our content, but if you don't enjoy it, then please provide constructive criticism. What would you rather see? Specifically, what is it about this that you don't like? If you want our content to be more to your liking, provide suggestions. I can't guarantee I'll enact them, but I'd be happy to hear what you have to say.

jsoleary
jsoleary

@gossamersixteen Yes, indeed, "Corey M." and you would know!   I'm reading your Yelp reviews now and this prose certainly rivals that of William F. Buckley, Jimmy Breslin, and Hannah Arendt. 

KaitlinS
KaitlinS topcommenter

@MadMac Oh man, it does look like bait. Yum? 

Glad you liked it (or at least that one section)! I'm a big fan of random outbursts during meetings, especially serious ones. Lightens the mood. Makes people think you're crazy, which can be good. "Don't fuck with MadMac, man. That guy's wacko."

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

More cowbell?

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

@jsoleary @gossamersixteen I don't get paid to write drivel, nor do I make it my career. Making your point wholly invalid.  Glad you enjoyed my reviews, very professional to post my name as well. Classy.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Ah, we have met then...wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more.

jsoleary
jsoleary

@MadMac I'm hard-pressed to disagree with that because most everything benefits from more cowbell.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Yeah, we already had a "journo," in Houston who followed that path. As an aspiring writer and unrepentant, (or is that repugnant?) HP fan boy, I respect your commitment to excellence or, you know, writing about food. Whatevs... 

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

@jsoleary @gossamersixteen If it's so worthy then let it stand on it's own accord, your defensive replies only exacerbate the obvious issues you're having finding content to keep readers coming back.  Sorry I know you and your other writers are capable of better than this, and forgive me for calling a spade a spade. 

jsoleary
jsoleary

@gossamersixteen @jsoleary Who's the we?

Also, people tend to sound "defensive" when they feel like they're being attacked. And your statement ("As though we needed further proof that HP's food section has gone to crap, we get this drivel. Fine journalism guys, really..) classifies as that. Anyways, I need to get back to my "crap."

jsoleary
jsoleary

@gossamersixteen @jsoleary Also 'classy' is hiding behind your vague criticisms with a screen name. But then again you're in good company, Voltaire.  Love, Rousseau. 

KaitlinS
KaitlinS topcommenter

@gossamersixteen @jsoleary Hey man, glad you read, sorry you didn't like it, and thank God someone will pay me for something! Selling my body seemed like a bad idea, so I switched to journalism. Maybe I should have gone with prostitution after all...

Now Trending

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...