Whataburger Monterey Melt: Your Cardiologist Will Thank You

Photos by Christina Uticone
Take me, now.
By now I'm pretty accustomed to being shocked and/or horrified by the nutritional information I find on fast-food Web sites, but the Whataburger Monterey Melt really sent me over the edge -- and directly to the drive-thru window at my nearest Whataburger.

The new Monterey Melt is chock-full of the stuff you expect fast food to be chock-full of: calories (1130), fat (74 grams), carbs (58 grams) and cholesterol (170 mg). But you know what really knocked me off my chair? The sodium count -- 4050 milligrams of sodium! That feels like All the Sodium in the World, frankly, and it's contained in one single sandwich.

Naturally I had to try this thing, but I chickened out at the last minute and got the Junior version, which comes in at a "healthier" 620 calories, 42 grams fat, 95 mg cholesterol, 32 grams carbs and 3360 mg of sodium. I feel light as a feather!

Honestly, this thing is decadently and disgustingly delicious. Two juicy beef patties are covered in melted Monterey Jack and American cheeses, and then slathered with jalapeño ranch dressing; grilled peppers and onions add a smoky sweetness that offsets the bite from the jalapeños. I took bite after bite, my resolve to eat just half thrown out the window -- I killed the entire sandwich in just a few minutes while my dog looked at me with longing.

This is a hangover-killing burger of the highest order. It's a breakup burger that will make you forget your ex's first name, phone number and address. It's everything a fast-food burger should be -- so right, and so wrong. I highly recommend it.

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Scott Crain
Scott Crain

Ah yes, Whataburger. The home of the smashed bun.

Wesley Burnham
Wesley Burnham

I had to stop eating them after noticing a palpable difference in

Jimi Austin
Jimi Austin

I'll take mine without the peppers and onions. Too healthy.

Henna Mumtaz
Henna Mumtaz

Mir Salem Anwar I thought of you when I saw this!

Clay Wisner
Clay Wisner

Ate one a couple of weeks ago. You ain't lying.

Cynthia Azzam
Cynthia Azzam

and then we wonder why the USA has morbid obesity levels that are unimaginable.

FattyFatBastard topcommenter

Next time try it on Texas Toast.  That always ratchets it up a notch.

texmex01 topcommenter

Its hard to beat the Patty Melt there....

gossamersixteen topcommenter

The so called jalapeno ranch is pretty disgusting I thought..  Tasted slightly rancid to me..

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