The Turducken Burger & 5 Other Ridiculous Burgers We'd Like to See Become a Reality

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Illustration by Monica Fuentes
2. The Lasagna Burger

Because why not at this point, right?

We'd fashion the "buns" out of woven sheets of lasagna that we'd then coat in bread crumbs and deep-fry (obvi). Next, we'd make our stuffing -- a mixture of egg, ricotta and parmesan cheese, chopped fresh parsley, minced mushrooms and crumbled hot Italian sausage -- and load it into the middle of a well-seasoned ground beef patty.

To complete our masterpiece, we'd grill it, top it with shredded mozzarella and spicy marinara, and broil it until golden brown and bubbly.

Tell us you don't want this burger right now, go on.

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Illustration by Monica Fuentes


1. The Poor Man's Turducken

We say this is a poor man's burger because nearly all of the ingredients can be found at a gas station.

We'd start with some microwaved White Castle cheeseburgers, remove the buns, and stack and line the sliders up to form a big, thick patty. Next we'd take Nacho & Cheese Lunchables and spread the cheese dip and salsa over the top. Then crush up the leftover nachos and sprinkle those on top, too -- because, we mean, why not?

Now the burger probably needs some more meat, right? So a little sprinkling of chipped beef jerky couldn't hurt.

And the buns? You don't even want to know what we're thinking for the buns. Hot Pocket Philly cheese steaks, anyone? You'll need two -- one for the top bun and one for the bottom.

...and so the Poor Man's Turducken Burger was born. You're welcome...

Anyone up for trying these at home? Bonus points if you record video of yourself eating the burger set to the Rocky soundtrack.

What kind of burgers would you like to see? Dream big, friends, dream big...


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3 comments
Kathy Stabe
Kathy Stabe

OK, I would totally eat the chicken and waffles one. That sounds delicious. And the lasagna one is super creative. Honestly, I'd probably eat that too.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

Gross; though I'm sure you've made Paula Dean and Cardiologists happy.

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