Hooters Rearms Itself In the Battle of the Breastaurants: 4 New Slogan Ideas

Categories: Restaurant News

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Photos by Joshua Justice
We have to admit: The new interiors do look pretty nice. See more in our slideshow.
The Hooters at Highway 59 and Kirby has just rearmed itself in the battle of the breastaurants. Presumably in response to the recent opening and immense popularity of Twin Peaks -- located just across the freeway -- as well as other competitors entering the market like Bone Daddy's and Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill, Hooters has extensively remodeled the entire location.

The Houston location is the first store in the entire chain to receive such a reworking, and serves as a model for future remodels across the country. Among the added amenities, according to the press release we received at the Houston Press, were increased seat and booth sizes, and extra padding in the seats. Which gave us an idea for a few new slogans for Hooters while they're at this whole rebranding business.

Possible new slogan: "Here at Hooters, while we recognize that you may have ballooned into a colossal lard-ass, our lovely waitresses are still only big in just the right locations."

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The ladies are lovely, but we do not want to take our kids here.
The release also told us that Hooters' new environment is perfect for a meal with the family. We're not ones to promote sexuality as a taboo, but a trip to Hooters with mom and dad for a 12-year-old sounds right on par with watching Eyes Wide Shut on Christmas morning. But in this competitive market, restaurants are trying for every last customer,
even if that means marketing directly to that niche group happy to bring in their impressionable child to learn all about objectification of females.

Possible new slogan: "Come to Hooters and see where daddy was last week instead of watching your dance recital."

We have to admit, though: The new remodel looked pretty snazzy. Raised wood paneling in a variety of finishes and sleek dark wood accents -- when viewed apart from the signature Hooters bright orange wing sauce splotched here and there -- actually looked very nice.

"Did they change the menu, too, or is it the same old crap?" wondered my friend as he flipped open the menu. "Yup," he found. "Same crap."

Possible new slogan: "Hooters: We care about the food more than you do. But not by much."

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The menus are mostly the same.
Hooters also failed to update one other key item: the uniform. And this may be why Hooters has never really done it for us. The girls wear incredibly silly outfits. If we had a Flashdance fetish, we'd probably be in heaven. Since that isn't the case, the whole 1984-era wind shorts and suntan-colored pantyhose look just isn't our thing.

Possible new slogan: "Hooters: Where every night is like sneaking downstairs to watch USA Up All Night."

See more of Hooters' newly remodeled interior (and those same old wind shorts) in our slideshow.



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5 comments
dougwhitehead
dougwhitehead

As a friend suggested: "The Food is Good Enough"

Spitzberg
Spitzberg

Bible says that women are here to serve and comfort men, so let's agree that this upgraded service is both Christian and supportive of family values. I've heard that Chick Fil A is moving in a similar direction next year, but still keeping the Sunday sabbath.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

I just have to wonder if former employees of Hooters actually list that on their resume?

john1914
john1914

While the old worn-out decor didn't help the image of Hooters as the place you used to go for wings and beer, it needs more help: food that doesn't taste like crap, uniforms that aren't garish and out of style, clean tables, and servers that don't ignore your presence. The last time I was at the one in Stafford I had to clean my own table because nobody else would. The last time I went to the one at 59 and Kirby I walked in, had a seat, and walked out 10 minutes later. While the hostess said hello, no server ever came to take an order. It was like I was invisible.  Across the freeway at Twin Peaks you can actually get waited on and the food doesn't suck.

I would like to see more branches of Brick House (formerly a breastaurant, but the servers have since buttoned up their tops.) They have a great selection of beer and pretty good food... and I can bring my wife there to watch the game and not feel self conscious about bringing her there.

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