5 Thanksgiving Sides That Need to Go Away
|Photo by photofarmer|
How and why did Jell-O make its way to Thanksgiving? I just don't get it. And Jell-O salads? Don't get me started.
Our editor-in-chief, Margaret Downing, tells tales of a Thanksgiving Jell-O ring filled with sliced carrots. No! Please, no! Make it stop. I'll be good next year, I swear!
2. Prepackaged Spiral Ham
My fellow EOW bloggers agree: Store-bought spiral ham has got to go.
Don't get us wrong -- a good-quality, simply roasted ham can be delicious. But the sad excuse for a ham that makes it to our holidays is usually accompanied by a packet of brown sugar topping that makes us want to cry and gag at the same time. It's like a cry-heave-gag-combo that is not cute. Don't make us do it.
Our own Joshua Justice even likened "that gross jelly on top" to placenta. Appetizing.
1. Canned Green Bean Casserole w/ Cream of Mushroom Soup
This should say it all...
Sorry, you guys. I know there are some die-hard, old-school GBC fans out there, but I just can't. The too-thick, too-bland Cream of Mushroom soup, the stale fried onions (Thanksgiving is single-handedly keeping French's in business, by the way) and the wimpy, over-salted canned green beans... Why do we refuse to improve this shittiest of shitty dishes? We have so much to work with. Fresh beans! A well-seasoned, homemade cream sauce! Hot and crunchy fried onion strips! Bacon! Bacon fixes everything right? Do it!
Although I feel strongly about canning the canned-freak-show of a side dish, it turns out the jury's still out on this one.
Even our EOW bloggers can't agree: Phaedra Cook believes you can't mess with the '70s American cuisine at its most nostalgic," while John Gray seconded "the living shit" out of its inclusion in my list, most eloquently stating that "it tastes like asserole."
If you or your loved ones haven't retired these Thanksgiving staples yet, dial 1-888-my-Thanksgiving-sucks. Until then, I'm just thankful you didn't invite me over.
What Thanksgiving dishes do you wish would just go away?
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