Go to Hell, Milk Duds: The 5 Foods Most Likely to Mess Up Your Mouth
2. Jordan almonds
Photo by Carlos Lorenzo So pretty. Now use them to fill a vase or something.
Why on God's green earth do people still give these out at weddings and baby showers when there are literally hundreds of other more edible, more attractive, more updated and less painful alternatives? Jordan almonds are nothing more than bland, unsalted almonds coated in a candy shell that is so tough and so remarkably void of any resemblance to actual food that I don't even think it's meant to be consumed. The shell seems as though it was engineered specifically to crack molars.
There is no other food easier to crack a tooth on than Runts. I can name five people off the top of my head who have cracked their teeth on Runts -- most of them adults (which is one reason I don't feel so bad to have pulled out a crown with a Milk Dud). Runts should not exist. If you suck on them long enough for the hard candy shell to go away, your mouth is coated in a fine powder that feels like inhaling powdered sheetrock. If you try to bite down on them any sooner, they crack your tooth faster than a punch to the jaw. Runts can go straight to hell and take Milk Duds with them.
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