Go to Hell, Milk Duds: The 5 Foods Most Likely to Mess Up Your Mouth

Categories: Top Five

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Photo by Carlos Lorenzo
So pretty. Now use them to fill a vase or something.
2. Jordan almonds

Why on God's green earth do people still give these out at weddings and baby showers when there are literally hundreds of other more edible, more attractive, more updated and less painful alternatives? Jordan almonds are nothing more than bland, unsalted almonds coated in a candy shell that is so tough and so remarkably void of any resemblance to actual food that I don't even think it's meant to be consumed. The shell seems as though it was engineered specifically to crack molars.

1. Runts

There is no other food easier to crack a tooth on than Runts. I can name five people off the top of my head who have cracked their teeth on Runts -- most of them adults (which is one reason I don't feel so bad to have pulled out a crown with a Milk Dud). Runts should not exist. If you suck on them long enough for the hard candy shell to go away, your mouth is coated in a fine powder that feels like inhaling powdered sheetrock. If you try to bite down on them any sooner, they crack your tooth faster than a punch to the jaw. Runts can go straight to hell and take Milk Duds with them.



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16 comments
mattdhall
mattdhall

I have chipped several teeth on Gummy Bears. You think you're getting a good bit down, then they slip out. Ouch.

And Captain Crunch. I love it so much, but it tears the roof of my mouth to shreds every time. 

Just_Johnny
Just_Johnny

Gum. I've lost two fillings because of it. It doesn't immediately take them out but the chewing action really weakens their hold. Within a day or two of chewing gum, they are gone.

 

Bad dentist? Maybe.

Shelbie Burgett
Shelbie Burgett

Don't forget about Cap'n Crunch. The roof of your mouth after, ugh!

Noelle A. Perry
Noelle A. Perry

" She's like a Milk Dud: sweet on the outside, poison on the inside." - bart simpson

Corey Deiterman
Corey Deiterman

I hate pizza as much as I love it for that reason. By the time it's cool enough to eat without burning your mouth, it usually doesn't even taste good anymore.

jennytulltx
jennytulltx

Now R Laters - pulled a crown off a tooth for me.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

Forgot juju be's and or rowntree's fruit gums..

Dustin Kalman
Dustin Kalman

I once burned the corner of my mouth on a Grandy's Cinnamon Roll. I heated it up in the microwave and the icing was really hot.

MamaJuice
MamaJuice

Oysters.  I was at a popular seafood restaurant celebrating my husband's birthday.  I swallowed an oyster and then bit into part of it's shell.  I went to the ladies room to rinse my mouth out and found the piece of shell and a chunk of my bottom molar.  I was upset and thought about letting my server know but then figured it's just one of the hazards of eating seafood.  If a bone doesn't get you perhaps a shell will.  I drank more champagne and forgot about it.

Caroline Evans
Caroline Evans

My scalp itches every time I eat horseradish. I used to think it was normal, then I mentioned it to some friends and they looked at me weird.

Yumyum
Yumyum

How about pitted olives?  There is always one in there that is not pitted and BAM you have a cracked tooth.

Houstess
Houstess

My dentist has said that Bit O Honey and corn nuts are responsible for most of his food related repair business.

kshilcutt
kshilcutt moderator editor

 @gossamersixteen Jujubes should be cast into the deepest pit of hell. They're worse than everything else on this list combined.

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