What's the Best Bread/Cheese Combination for a Grilled Cheese Sandwich?

Categories: The Interwebs

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Photo by dave77459
Why, hello there, childhood.
If 4chan is the Wild West of the Internet, Reddit is the PG-13 version: a cleaned-up mining town grown rich on silver that mostly keeps the riff-raff out, Tombstone-style (or at least confined to subreddits such as r/gonewild and r/spacedicks). It's where the local residents gather to discuss important topics like kittens, memes, science, puppies, politics, arbitrary arguments for the sake of arbitrariness and gross-out stories that 31-year-olds shouldn't still find amusing but do. Reddit also loves food. A lot.

Many of the stories that make it to the sacred "front page" of Reddit through its system of user (or "redditor") upvoting and downvoting are nothing more than a picture of what someone cooked for dinner that night. Occasionally, a photo spread of something like one man's summer of eating at Los Angeles food trucks will make the cut, too. Far more popular, however, are Reddit threads that not only feature food as a topic but allow discussion and/or arguments over which foodstuff in question is superior.

Most recently, a Reddit thread on "the best cheese/bread combo for a grilled cheese" hit the front page and Redditors across the Internet converged to give their own suggestions for the most superior grilled cheese of all.

With one major problem.

See also:

Grilled Mac & Cheese Sandwich at Ziggy's

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Photo by jbcurio
It's as "digestible as milk itself!"
Not once in the top 200 comments did anyone mention Velveeta. Sure, if you expand the comment thread to include all 500 comments, Velveeta gets a few paltry mentions.

"But the Velveeta processed dairy product is sooo creamy and melty. I love me some fake cheese," exhorts one redditor. To which another redditor immediately retorts: "Bleh. Just American cheese sold in block form."

JUST AMERICAN CHEESE? SOLD IN BLOCK FORM? HOW ABOUT THE AMERICAN CHEESE SOLD IN BLOCK FORM?

It is well-established that nothing melts like Velveeta, thanks -- yes -- in large part to the many chemicals that keep Velveeta in its charming block form, a form which has remained unchanged since my childhood.

Thank God some other redditor further down the thread came to Velveeta's defense, or else I would have had to de-lurk after years spent in quiet contemplation of Reddit's curious nature solely to defend America's favorite cheese product:

I always go with cheap white bread and Kraft or Velveeta American cheese. Served with a cup of Cambell's tomato soup. So nostalgic and comforting, it brings me back to my childhood! When I make a grilled cheese sandwich I spread margarine very carefully covering each possible surface. I use a small skillet that has a lid and spray it with a touch of PAM. Grilling it with the lid on ensures all the cheese will be thoroughly melted as the heat gets trapped in there and kind of steams it. I only like a medium grill on my bread and I kept finding the cheese in the middle wouldn't get nice and gooey.

And that's how you make a grilled cheese sandwich, folks. You can keep your fancy Gruyere and artisan sourdough bread. They're lovely and all, but a grilled cheese sandwich is at its best when it's simple and, okay, highly processed. Ain't that America?



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19 comments
FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard topcommenter

Gouda or Fontina.  I have no nostalgia towards Velveeta.  Exceptions for queso and cheese enchiladas.

mezzagrille
mezzagrille

@HoustonPress Ciabatta bread w/ Feta,Parmesean and fresh Mozerella.Add black olives,basil&sundried tomato #CafeMezza

fhr1128
fhr1128

@HoustonPress rye bread, sharp cheddar

gardulest
gardulest

Velveeta, sourdough, good butter, medium high heat .

Between the bread, slumbering with the cheese, strips of San Marzano tomatoes on one, dill pickle slices on the other. Sometimes Indian mango chilli pickle. Paradise

Moe Ali
Moe Ali

And a thick slice of tomato mmm

William Pora
William Pora

i like bread, then cheese, but then (and here's the kicker), bread again! I call it the bread Yum delivery system It will revolutionize eating!

Alexander_Bites
Alexander_Bites

Sounds just right, Shilcutt. The only thing I would add to this is that instead of tomato soup put a big squeeze of ketchup on the plate for dipping the sandwich in.

 

Bonus points for having extra packets of Whataburger ketchup on hand for this purpose.

TA

StumpBeefgnaw
StumpBeefgnaw

- Two slices bread of your choice, though I prefer potato or rye

- One strongly flavored cheese--sharp cheddar, asiago, etc.

- One good smooth-melting cheese--American, havarti, or yes, even the dreaded Velveeta

- Butter

- Light sprinkle of seasoning (dill, Bacon Salt, or just plain old S&P)

 

Butter one slice of bread, lay in hot skillet, add one cheese, sprinkle seasonings, add other cheese, butter other slice of bread and place on top. Flip once and only once. Serve immediately with tomato soup or chili.

etee56
etee56

My favorite is Velveeta on sourdough.

BrittanieShey
BrittanieShey moderator

Sharp cheddar on rye. Also must have: spicy mustard, pickles and tomato slices. Get your Velveeta outta here.

drricky
drricky

@HoustonPress personally, I like a good grilled raclette on a baguette. But even that depends on the make and age.

drricky
drricky

@HoustonPress too many permutations and cultural standards - it's like finding peace in the middle east.

Alexander_Bites
Alexander_Bites

 @StumpBeefgnaw My recipe verbatim other than I like to sprinkle my spices on the outside of the bread with the butter. I think the toasting enhances the spices.

TA

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