This Week in Deliciousness: The Grease Monster of Yucca Flats

Categories: Leftovers

lunchable.JPG
No, really, thanks for the Lunchable, Mom. But you forgot the other 12 I would need to NOT BE HUNGRY ANYMORE.
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where this time of year ten years ago, we'd be nearly halfway through our allotted money on our university meal card already. It's hard living above a convenience store that's open late at night, particularly if you have a weakness for microwave pizzas and ice cream Snickers. Gained a lot of weight that first year, let me tell you.

We started the week off right with a look at real actors reading real Yelp reviews. My favorite is the one where the Yelper quite perkily describes his intense gastrointestinal distress while praising the actual meal. They're all fantastic, though.

Ice cream cake sucks because frozen cake is dry and shitty, but please go through our five best combinations of ice cream and cake and, instead of buying them in the same dessert, purchase them separately and combine them later. You'll thank us.

Build-A-Bar has made a triumphant comeback, and shows what can happen when you stop scheming and start doing.

New food magazine Lucky Peach is raising the bar in smartassery, which we always approve of. Originally I suspected similar smartassery in the suggestion to dig around in the weeds for my food, but nope, that's a thing now. Make sure and leave the caterpillars on, that there is valuable protein.

They sell some of the best burgers in Houston out of a school bus, and hopefully there aren't many of you out there who don't know that by now. True, they're big, messy, wonderfully greasy burgers, but they still have to be better for you than Texas State Fair food, which has become more about whether or not something can be fried, rather than whether it should. YOU'RE TAMPERING IN GOD'S DOMAIN, GREASE WIZARDS. This calls for a '50s-style monster movie about a rampaging killer deep-fried corn dog. Look for the open casting call if you'd like to be on film getting strangled to death by a foam-rubber allegory for heart disease.

I'm no food snob, though, as I'd gladly eat any hacked ramen dish, especially after a night of drinking. Double especially if I've been made to dance during said drinking.

We had a look at Lunchables, which many of you will remember getting in your school lunches once your parents gave up. Still hungry? We're not surprised. Go ahead and fill up on barbecue to your heart's content.

A new study makes it appear as if organic foods aren't really that much better for you than regular foods, although they still seem to be a lot more ethical in their production, so don't worry, you can still feel superior for eating them. Personally, I went about a week into watching the tomatoes in my backyard get ruined by stinkbugs before I started covering them in gasoline twice a day. They taste all right, I guess, and although the heartburn is worse, my drunken master kung fu is coming along much faster.

Finally, support your food trucks. They can follow you around if you don't.



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