Leggo My Eggo? Me First!

Photos by Christina Uticone
My number one food rule is this: Eat breakfast. I wasn't a big breakfast eater until I was in my thirties, but once I converted, that was it -- breakfast is nonnegotiable. I'm generally happy with cold cereal and fruit on a weekday, though I will enjoy the occasional leftover (chili, rice, tacos) with a fried egg on top. My husband has been a dedicated frozen-waffle eater for years, and while we almost always have them in the freezer, I rarely indulge.

But this week, the flu intervened, and without much appetite -- or milk -- I was left with few options for my morning meal. I noticed a new box of Eggo blueberry waffles in the freezer and decided to do a little at-home taste test of my own, to see what (if anything) I have been missing out on.

I wanted to try the waffles a few different ways: plain, out of the toaster; with traditional butter and syrup; with butter and honey, which I like better than store-bought maple syrup; and with yogurt and fruit. The waffles themselves are pretty insubstantial -- thin, dense and dry to the touch, both out of the box and after toasting.

Alternate uses: Furniture sliders, Frisbees, cocktail-sized party plates.
Once they were out of the toaster, I took a quick, dry bite of the waffle, which pretty much summed up why I haven't been eating frozen waffles for the last 20 years. Sure, it was small and kind of dry, but the real horror was the taste. The artificial blueberry flavor is so overpowering, and the aftertaste lingers so long, as to be almost inedible. I wish I had a plain waffle to compare it to (they can't taste this bad, can they?), but as for the blueberry-flavored Eggos, I simply cannot recommend them.

The least horrible combination: waffles, yogurt, maple syrup, fruit. Hurry, don't try it yourself today!
I tried every combo of butter, maple syrup, honey, fruit and yogurt I could think of with varying degrees of success. I'm a bit of a maple syrup snob -- my uncle makes his own, so even high-quality store-bought syrup pales in comparison -- but a rich, sugary dose does these waffles some good, obscuring enough of the fake blueberry flavor to make it edible. The best combination for my money? Waffles + yogurt (cream-top, preferably) + fruit + 1 tbsp. maple syrup. I'm big on cream-top yogurts because of the flavor and texture, both of which improve the flavor and texture of the waffle -- if only by covering it up; fresh strawberries also work to mitigate (somewhat) that artificial flavor.

Bottom line: Stick with your favorite cereal, and if you have to eat Eggos, make 'em plain.

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Can your uncle and his maple syrup farm adopt me?

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