Things I Intend to Keep Doing Even Though I Know Better

Categories: Leftovers

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Photo by Sifu Renka
This is actually real wasabi, which HELLO LOVELY.
Life is full of enough rules as it is, and the food world especially can be easily overtaken by snobbery and excess etiquette. To combat this soul-crushing feeling, there are a few areas in which I willfully misbehave -- things which I stubbornly continue to do even though I know better because they make me happy and they're not hurting anyone so sod off, the lot of you.

What are your food acts of defiance?

Mixing the fake green wasabi into my soy sauce

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Photo by chez loulou
Slicing the rind off my Brie before I eat it

Drinking iced tea with four packets of Sweet 'n Low in it

Eating escolar

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Photo by Travis S.
Ordering Jack in the Box tacos at midnight

Cutting food with my fork

Taking iPhone photos of really pretty plates of food

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Photo by Vivian D. Nguyen
Calling it a kolache instead of a klobasnek

Licking really good gravy or sauce off the back of a knife

Blowing bubbles into my Coke with my straw



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36 comments
Stephwolford
Stephwolford

Omg..with a maiden name like Korenek...I'm delighted that I'm not the only one who finds the "kolache" reference infuriating. (not that I think local Kolache chains serve real kolaches anyway....) but oh no!!! Please tell me why escolar is bad?? It may break my hart...but I need to know..it's one of my faves. ( and yes...I dip it into the fake wasabi mixed with soy) ;)

Discgolfer22
Discgolfer22

Jack in the Box tacos and eggrolls were always great post-bar food. Still might be from time to time. :)

Check out the tacos at Burger King sometime. Little less grease and crunchier, flakier shell. At least it seems that way after a case of beer or so.

Del
Del

OK really...who eats organic artisan food all the time?  It's sometimes McDonald's and it's sometimes Banana Leaf!

Ruthie J M
Ruthie J M

Calling it Water-Burger. Eating blue box mac-n-cheese. Buying shredded cheese. Looking at the dessert menu first.

Jww Weghorst
Jww Weghorst

Not letting anyone near the BBQ pit because they don't know what the hell they're doing.

Ms. Pants
Ms. Pants

Dude, I don't get the eating of brie rind.  But I swear by Jack's tacos, so that tells you what kind of foodie I am totally not.

Mine is eating burgers halfway through, then eating them layer by layer.  I've done it since I was a kid.  It tastes better that way.  Shut up.

(Also, getting irritated whenever a "pub" misspells "Guinness.")

JMTexas
JMTexas

Folding the potato chip bag (or any fried nugget served in a cellophane bag) to funnel the last bit of chip crumb directly into my mouth.

SL
SL

I refuse to give up my grilled cheese sandwiches made with plain white bread and those horrible cheese slices that come in plastic wrap. 

Bradg
Bradg

Although I pride myself for eating 99.999% organic/grass-fed bullshit...I STILL eat an occasional bag of crunchy Cheetos AND LICK THE ORANGE OFF MY FANGERS like a good white trash boy should.  And I sometimes drink cheap beer.

Eric S
Eric S

I thought midnight is the only time ordering JITB tacos is acceptable. 

Luzyourmind
Luzyourmind

Eat that escolar, girl!  It's my favorite!

Terry Alexander
Terry Alexander

I agree with all of the above save for desecrating my iced tea by adding sugar to it. Yuck! I will add:

Licking my chopsticksFinishing great soup by lifting bowl to mouthDrinking a sip at the self serve drink machine and refillingEating BBQ with my hands

TA

Corey
Corey

Eating Mcdonalds fries with their bbq sauce, eating rice with a fork, gnawing the last meat off the bone from a ribeye (in hand), drinking simply limeade straight from the container. And the great sin of putting Catsup/Ketchup on a Chicago dog..

SirRon
SirRon

Drinking the ginger salad dressing from the bowl after finishing the lunch salad at Azuma. Also applies to Benihana.

And I don't put ketchup on a burger. I make a ginormous pile of ketchup on the side that I dredge the burger through before every bite. A burger just can't hold enough ketchup between the buns.

Krk6987
Krk6987

haha, i first read "escolar" as "escarole" and was seriously confused as to why you shouldn't eat a healthy, leafy, green vegetable. It is only once I went back and read it again that I noticed my mistake.

sbterry
sbterry

Love everything about this post!

Hbeard85
Hbeard85

Especially love 'cutting the rind off the brie cheese'. But since I got the wee brie from phoenicia, I've found I actually miss that part... There's something satisfying in picking off the soft waxy rind before popping it into your mouth...   

Nate
Nate

Very nice. Whenever I see someone refer to a savory kolache as a "klobasnek", I think, what a pedantic asshole.  Like they have ranchero kolaches in the Czech Republic, anyway.Still mix the fake wasabi with soy sauce.  Also prefer the fake wasabi to the real stuff, esp at seven bucks per.As for my acts of defiance, proudly putting ketchup on my burgers.  Suck it.

Matthew
Matthew

i agree with most of those, except for blowing bubbles in carbonated drinks.that just ruins the carbonation.

my addition would be not using the little plates restaurants give you for dips, and instead shoveling the tastiness directly out of the vat with my chip/bread.

Jalapeno
Jalapeno

I see that "writing where are we eating?" is missing from this list.

Guest
Guest

1)      Escolar has something called ‘wax esters’ in its flesh that is very hard to digest (*wikpedia) 2)      Some people when eating more then a few ounces can have minor to more serious digestion problems 3)      For this reason it is illegal to sell Escolar in the raw form (sushi/sashimi) in Japan (cooking apparently eliminates the side effects) 4)      Escolar served as sushi/sashimi is basically a modern marketing product. They came up with a fancy name “Super White Tuna” and started selling it to less traditional sushi bars, until it became very popular (Almost no Japanese owned sushi bars sell Escolar in raw form)

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan

 Hell, I eat a bit of my burger, then take the patty out and eat it and the veggies by themselves.  Sometimes I nibble on the bread, sometimes not.  I take Whataburger breakfast tacos, dump the eggs, bacon et all in bowl and eat that with a fork, then eat the tortilla. Oh, and how can I forget the homemade chocolate covered bacon with Nutella?  Yes, my cholesterol screams in agony, but they probably don't have chocolate covered bacon with Nutella in Heaven, at least not the place I am going when I shuffle off this mortal coil.

Let's not talk about the raw onion and mustard sandwiches I ate as a kid....

Megan
Megan

I eat the toppings off my pizza, then peel off the cheese and eat that, then the crust.  No judgement from me.  (No, I never said I was normal.)

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan

 My compadre! Yeah, I do that too. Considering how you are ripped off when you buy a bag of chips, I damn well want my money's worth.

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan

 Yes, but do you eat it with tomato soup?

carrie
carrie

wait, you aren't supposed to eat rice with a fork??

SirRon
SirRon

Gnawing the bone. Yes! Add bone-in pork chops to the list. My wife hates that, but the best stuff is up on there.

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

Not to fret! Where Are We Eating has just been moved to a different timeslot on Mondays. :)

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan

 And those Jack in the Box tacos got me through plenty of lean times. As long as I can removed that fake taco sauce they use, I am good.  I used to eat the tacos at Sonic, when they had them. (But, I won't eat at the Jack in the Box on N. Shepherd and Donovan. Ate a chicken salad there one day, woke up at 3am the following morning with a bad case of food poisoning).

SL
SL

Yes, but only with out of the can campbells tomato soup ;)

Corey
Corey

I eat a lot of Asian food (haha). Does that clarify that? 

SirRon
SirRon

I'm flagging this comment for inappropriateness because of that taco sauce comment. Obscene.

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