Blue Hate Special: Loving to Loathe Guy Fieri

Categories: TV

Guy Fieri book.jpg
WHOAAA!!! Extreme!!!
We've all seen this spiked, peroxide-dyed Food Network star eating his way across America's heartland. We've all heard him choking out limp catchphrases around mouthfuls of food, wheezing out airy, hyena-like whinnies of laughter while wiping grease and mustard off of his perfectly manicured, bleached goatee.

We've all cringed at his asides, his constant breaking of the fourth wall and his level of obnoxiousness bordering on obscene.

We've watched his show, envied his job and wondered to ourselves the most obvious of all questions:

How the shit is Guy Fieri famous?

Guy has become famous for his gluttony, propensity for bad jokes and, allegedly, homophobia and sexism.

Oh, and he also wears too much jewelry, talks with his mouth full and never seems to tire of hearing his own voice.

This individual also wears his sunglasses backwards on his head.

What I've just described is the guy you never want to sit next to on a plane, or the guy that shows up to a party and doesn't really know anybody, so he overcompensates.

But Guy Fieri is a mega-rich television host, one capable of buying -- and absorbing the loss of -- a $200,000, bright-yellow Lamborghini.

Fieri is a New York Times best-selling author and host of multiple shows on multiple networks. He even has his own line of chefs' knives.

The knives are what you would imagine from someone who says things like "winner winner chicken dinner" and "that's a first-class ticket to flavor town" while taking himself seriously.

His line of cutlery is called "Knuckle Sandwich," and the knives are adorned with flames and other such silly shit so everybody knows that you have a ton of personality.

People line up around the block to see someone with about as much charm as a fishnet-bodysuit Cher from the "If I Could Turn Back Time" music video plus Andy Dick and Carrot Top, all rolled together into one strange, chubby, board-short-and-bowling-shirt package.

Tool doesn't begin to describe Guy Fieri.

Tool bag. Tool box. Tool Time with Tim Taylor.

The Home Depot.

He's had the lead singer of Smash Mouth as a guest on his show. That's pretty much game over.

guy-f-10-1.jpg
Noodles! Rad as hell!!
This is a guy who made a cheese steak with RITZ crackers and was the spokesman for T.G.I. Fridays, so he's about as big a shill as you can be. No real mystery as to his integrity, I think, so he must be graded on a large curve.

Guy Fieri is the Larry the Cable Guy of the culinary world.

Big, bold flavors are fine, but you don't have to yell it at me, and furthermore, silk bowling shirts with flames on them are preposterous and certainly no way to grab my attention.

And stop wearing rings on your thumbs.

Imagine being the only person more abrasive than the Aflac duck. I guess that's talent.

And yet, I'll admit it: I do enjoy the show. I love seeing the funky, unique eats featured, and I've even visited a few of them. It's really quite disturbing, however, to see his spiked hair and countenance gleaming with pork sweats staring down at you when you first walk into a restaurant.

It must be part of his rider, because all of the places I've gone that have also been featured on his show have a large, framed portrait of him gracing their wall somewhere.

He's a massive bag of douche, but I can't knock his success. Whatever it is, it works.

Where do we all stand on the matter? Do you have a love-hate relationship with Guy? Or a love-to-hate relationship? Or a hate-to-love-to-hate?

How about a good, old-fashioned pure-hate relationship?



Follow Eating Our Words on Facebook and on Twitter @EatingOurWords
My Voice Nation Help
76 comments
Indeasky
Indeasky

You know, when I don't like a show or the host, I stop watching. Then, there's no need to go on and on and on about how much you hate them. I don't care to hear about why someone truly hates someone else. Next time, how about a post of something cool and you couldn't live without? i see way too much negativity and complaining on the net. Where's the positive?

Anythingpoker
Anythingpoker

Why hate on him because of outward appearance?  Or how he talks?  Haters are usually just jealous.  That's why they hate.  

Mai Pham
Mai Pham

Home Depot. Laughing out loud. Great post, Sam! 

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

He chilled out with the "Mayor of Flavortown" and "Meet me at the corner of Flavor & Awesome!" crap thank goodness. "There's a party in my mouth, Flavortown, USA!"

Well I like it
Well I like it

Wow.  I would never dress/cut my hair/accessorize like Guy but most of you need to lighten up.  Obviously you watch the show, as do I because the joints he goes to are interesting, and c'mon, he can be a teeny bit funny in a cheesy way.

Cheftob
Cheftob

You are green with jealousy my friend. Pure green.

defeated
defeated

Very well said... I am also perplexed by the success of such an obnoxious individual. What confuses me more than that is how I  sit and watch the entire show when I happen upon it. In the beginning,  I would just bitch and rant at the t.v. the whole time but now I've come to realize that he isn't going away. And to be quite honest, that whole network is filled with equally shitty personalities. Because he's so ridiculous it almost seems easier to accept the neccessary evil.

Hate him
Hate him

Pure hate. Won't watch his show, and if I happen to go someplace he's been, it's an accident.

just saying
just saying

Out of all the Food Network's terrible hires, I personally detest Rachel Ray the most.  Super annoying and there isn't anything really innovating or exciting about her recipes.  Runner up is Sandra Lee--why the hell would you have a cooking show about how to cook with boxed foods? And why would you hire a skeletal woman who clearly never consumes more than than the nibble that she does on the show to vouch for it being a great meal?Fortunately I only watch the food network when on the elliptical machine daily (I don't have cable at home), so I never have to actually hear any of these idiots talk.

Yoogerbelle
Yoogerbelle

Guy-guy seems like a really nice guy, hard worker and lovely father...fer realizies...he even shows off his family on the toob. What's not to adore? I'll bet he smells nice too and would be fun to hang out with.

Wyatt
Wyatt

 You want to hang out with annoying people. Just FYI.

Dplcianci
Dplcianci

I, for one, welcome our new Chief Justice and overlord.

Carlos Closinhtown
Carlos Closinhtown

Apparently you guys ran out of material on this one. Guy also has a cooking show, where he cooks up some good stuff that you don't mention in the article. I think they person who wrote this article is just a hater and hasn't done much research on Guy. You sound like more of a douche bag than Guy could ever be.Yeah, I said it. lol

Tarthur
Tarthur

I only watch the show to see the places he goes to.  Can not stand him.  Wish the guy from Man vs. Food would take his place.

Sam Brown
Sam Brown

I think they should change the name of that show.  Food pretty clearly won.  That guy's gained probably 50 pounds since season one.

I still find him considerably more palatable that albino porcupine head.  Guy went to Yale School of Drama.  That's no joke.

Clumsy Plumsy
Clumsy Plumsy

I'm pretty sure his gaining 50 pounds is why he doesn't do the show anymore. Dude was about to burst.

Sam Brown
Sam Brown

By "guy," I meant "that guy," as in Adam Richman.  Not Fieri.

Matt
Matt

Uh, the title of the column is "Blue Hate Special".  So what do you expect from a column with that title?  Love letters to Guy?   I have to agree with the author and many posters here, Guy Fieri is a douchebag, as is just about every celebrity on TV now.  I got rid of cable (and the Food Network) because it so worthless.  But still there is the lowest common denominator which needs to be served - so you folks just go hang out where Guy tells you, so we can avoid you too.

Houstess
Houstess

You and Sam should be buddies.  Aimless anger and all...

Monty
Monty

I find it odd that he is homophobic because he only has dudes on his cooking show and he always makes hairdresser drinks for them, often its a communal drink shared through straws.  Guy!  Might serve up a Bourbon on the rocks you if you are trying to look macho. Those pineapple/coconut umbrella drinks are not cutting the mustard on the macho front.

Doak
Doak

I really don't care about him, one way or another.

surfergirrl
surfergirrl

I like the show because despite his overbearing personality, he's kinda funny and makes the featured chefs feel like rock stars and promotes the little guy, the dive joint, the hole in the wall places cranking out great food their way.

Phil
Phil

He's a total douche. But the places he goes are awesome and the recipes he uses on his cooking shows are stuff that I like. You can't hate a guy for finding his niche in the world.

Denise Moore Angel
Denise Moore Angel

Personally, I like Guy's show.  I know it's not for everyone and that's ok.  I also enjoy Bobby Flay, Giada, etc etc.  But really, this much hate toward the man just because you don't happen to like his show or the places he endorses?  That's ridiculous!

Autumn Smith
Autumn Smith

He needs to die. As soon as possible. He's EVERYTHING that's wrong with America.

FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard

No, that would be the kardashian clan.

Sam Brown
Sam Brown

I never thought I'd do this, but:

I agree with this fat bastard.

The Kardashians are a scourge.  Devoid of talent and utterly ugly, inside and out.  

A family who owes their fame less to their Gold Medal Olympian step father or even to the fact that their real dad got OJ off the hook (and you know he did it) as to a sex tape of old Kim getting the business from Brandy's younger brother.

In comparison, Fieri is almost likable.

Denise Moore Angel
Denise Moore Angel

Die?  Damn, isn't that a bit harsh?  Change the channel if you don't like watching his show but don't wish the man dead for goodness sake!

Guest
Guest

Katherine's idea of snarky, witty writing is to call someone a douchebag. We've seen it before, and I'm sure we will see it again. I wish the Press would hire a real food writer.

Bradg
Bradg

 What the fuck, dude?  Can't you read?  Stupid asshole....this wasn't written by Ms. Shilcutt, so you can take the hate elsewhere. 

Terry Alexander
Terry Alexander

 Do your homework next time "guest". Shilcutt didn't write this one. The authors are always at the top of the article and there is probably about a gajillion more food writers at HP that contribute here.TA - my name is at the top also, "guest"

Houstess
Houstess

HELLLOOO!  Katharine doesn't write everything on this blog.  And frankly, Mr./Ms. Guest, I don't recall her using the d word much if at all.  That's a guy thing. A very lame guy thing.  Check the byline, geniac.

Dwilkinson
Dwilkinson

I don't understand the point of this article.  Food Network employs an obnoxious, enthusiastic guy with bleached hair.  So what?

Houstess
Houstess

There's so much anger in the country right now.  What are you displacing here?  He has a vast following because he is funny, mostly clever and visits some really great finds with a few misses (who up there said Cafe Pita is good??? Yikes).  I very much enjoy his show for mindless TV with serious food porn.  It's this show, not him alone.  His other shows, while successful, are not as widely viewed.  So who do you like enough to make time to watch?  Pioneer Woman?  Contessa?  Bitchin' Canadian? Bobby Flay?  Tyler Florence?  Actually, I do go out of my way to watch that last one on Ultimate.  But seriously, there must be something or someone you admire and are not envious of. 

Clumsy Plumsy
Clumsy Plumsy

Cafe Pita IS good. And maybe you missed the part where the writer says he actually enjoys watching the show. "Yikes" indeed.

BobsBlitz
BobsBlitz

This tool came to central Jersey and endorsed a local joint. A joint you wouldn't use the bathroom in. A joint that is surrounded by actual good joints.

Matt
Matt

I think Guy Fieri is some how related to Tim Fertitta.  Maybe his illegitimate half-brother.

FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard

I'm really trying not to single you out, but I'm amazed at how everything out of you is negative and hackneyed.  Do some research, and cheer up a bit.

FYI, to people who truly want to know about Guy:  His reviews are shit; I've tried several of his recommended places in town and they have been completely hit and miss.  The one compliment I will give him is that he really makes some bad ass recipes.  I haven't had a miss yet, with my favorite being his jambalaya sandwich.  And it's free, online, so don't feel you have to buy his cookbook to get it.

Ignacio
Ignacio

Any person that writes a negative article complaining about someone they dislike is an ultimate loser. There are MANY things to write about and this article shows this writer doesn't have much talent. 

Sam Brown
Sam Brown

In no particular order, I'd like to highlight some of my talents:

1- When I was 12, I could sing from memory the "Animaniacs'" US states and capitals song.

2- I drive a car exceptionally well.

3- I've actually read Wuthering Heights.  All of it.

4- My mom says I'm cool.

5- I can write an article causing you to take a moment out of your probably very busy life that makes you want to pause, think and then post a comment deriding said article.  

Not bad, I'd say.

EdBdCJ
EdBdCJ

I disagree. If no one writes about the overrated douchy talent this country chooses to celebrate, then we will be forever stuck with overrated douchy talent.  I like it when writers speak up against the tv personalities we are force fed. 

Wyatt
Wyatt

 You may not like or agree with the article, but cultural commentary often includes critical viewpoints. No one is allowed to criticize anything ever?

jeezuie
jeezuie

I like Guy Fieri, but I'd rather read Sam Brown.

Donovan
Donovan

I'm just sick of food network running reruns of his shows for multi hour blocks at a time

Jenny Tull
Jenny Tull

 Well, there is always the CSI or NCIS channel - then there is the hunt for Sasquatch.

DRod
DRod

It's all about the food, not the host. He samples places the average Joe would love and makes you want TO GO TRY THEM. I watch his show all the time and wish I could go to many of the places he visits.

Jenny Tull
Jenny Tull

DRod - I used to date Average Joe, and Honey, he thinks the Golden Corral is the bomb.  Have you considered where those kids fingers have been before they stuck them in the chocolate fountain?

Jenny Tull
Jenny Tull

Well and Niko Niko's too, Wonderful food, great place, wish there was a Katy location!

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...