Dear Star Pizza...Is Wax Paper Really Too Much to Ask?

Categories: Food Fight

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Dear Star Pizza,

I want you to know that I am a longtime fan and admirer of your work. Hell, before I was peer-pressured into trying your food I didn't even like pizza at all, an unheard-of thing in a man of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles generation. The fact that picking up a pizza made you invincible in their video games didn't sell me on pizza, but you did.

Your whole-wheat crusts are so thick and wonderful, I like to pretend that they are the mountains surrounding a magical valley of cheese and incomparable sauce. My wife has honest-to-Allah sung songs in praise of the Joe's spinach and garlic pie, and I myself remain in awe of the meaty miracle that is the Ben's. There's nothing more awesome than eating all the mammalian representatives of Old MacDonald's farm at once. If someone managed to add venison sausage to it, I would vote for it in the next election.

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In the past ten years I've lived in Clear Lake, Jersey Village, the Galleria area, Garden Oaks and Westchase. I happily have driven in to pick up pizza from you from all those places because it's worth the trip. Now that we've established that I love you dearly, I'm going to say this as gently as possible.

Stop putting that crappy ridged cardboard thing in the freakin' pizza box under the pizza. It. Is. The. Devil.

First of all, it does absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. I picked up a pizza once when you were out of them, and the grease didn't bleed through the box. It stayed right in the valley of magic cheese I mentioned earlier despite the 30-minute drive.

The real problem with this meaningless piece of paper is that it tastes terrible. Why do I know how it tastes? Because I've accidentally eaten yards of it, that's why. It slyly tears and sticks to the bottom of the crust, even when the pizza is fresh. When you're pulling a piece out of the refrigerator to enjoy for lunch the next day, it's even worse. Then the pizza and the paper have merged like some kind of horrible, Dr. Moreau foodstuff that is an unholy mixture of deliciousness and bitter packaging.

Have you considered wax paper? Seriously, Sam's Club sells it for an absurdly low price. It would do a much better job of preventing any possible grease seepage, which is why McDonald's uses it. Plus, it is specifically designed to keep the relationship between food and the stuff food comes in platonic. It is the unhinged-dad-with-a-shotgun of wrappings, ensuring through stern look and superior weaponry that your precious little pizza girl wears white to the wedding in your mouth.

I will happily bring some from home if you will promise to use it. Please do away with that abhorrent ridged paper thing and learn to love wax as I learned to love you.

Easy,

Jef With One F



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Star Pizza

2111 Norfolk, Houston, TX

Category: Restaurant

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51 comments
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'stina
'stina

Ha!  I'm Joe's and my husband is Ben's as well.  

soldier
soldier

Star Pizza has seen better days I moved to NYC for a few years and when I came back its menu  is smaller and the quality has gone down,

ec
ec

Interesting how now EOW is using fake names instead of people who are willing to stand behind their writing.  Lame.

Jef With One F
Jef With One F

My real name is Jef Rouner. I've been using Jef With One F as a stage name since I was 14. 

Alowishusinstereo
Alowishusinstereo

White people problems.

Xx
Xx

Hahahaha, that's the double truth Ruth!

Jezone2002
Jezone2002

OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD EVERYBODY RUN!! THE FOOSA ARE ATTACKIN!!!! AAAAHHHI ate Star Pizza 2 yesterday it was da bombdiggity!

Jchristian
Jchristian

My advise to you...shut up.  Shut up, shut up, shut up as I live in Virginia Beach now and something tells me a Joe's, whole-wheat deep dish would not keep during the 24 hour long drive.  My suggestion to Star, if anything, is to expand to the east coast or embrace online delivery!  Haha

Megan
Megan

Too bad they don't ship on dry ice.

Bruce R
Bruce R

Until reading this blog I was negligently unaware of the concept of "pizza juice."  I love pizza, and I love juice, so it stands to reason that I'd love pizza juice.

Davebo
Davebo

Ordered a pie and a salad from Star years ago.  Pizza came, no salad.  Mgr said he'd send it along.  No salad arrives.  The next morning I find it on my porch.

Delivery drivers.  What are you gonna do.  But the managers response?  "What are you complaining about? We sent the salad.

Star Pizza, lame from the top down.

SirRon
SirRon

Because you didn't answer your door they are lame? You probably couldn't hear them knocking over all your bitching.

I like to imagine your employer thinking after you made a mistake: "Davebo, lame from the top down."

Corey
Corey

 They must sign your checks..

SirRon
SirRon

Eh, no. The Stupidity Police.

Jeeterbug
Jeeterbug

i voiced my opinion to star a little over a year ago w/my displeasure over them taking the 4 cheese sandwich off their menu and replacing it w/a 5 cheese sandwich, ruined by that nasty olive salad crap.  even without that, it's not possible to turn it into my beloved 4 cheese.  i emailed them and later that day, i had a reply stating i could order that "off the menu" and it shouldn't be problem and they appreciated me contacting them about the change and my dislike of it,  they said they'd take it into consideration next time the menu was up for review.  so definitely let them know!

Benjamin Zwirek
Benjamin Zwirek

Dear Jef with one F,We sincerely appreciate your critique of our pizza. We always appreciate comments and suggestions from our customers and take each one to heart. Believe it or not this is not the first time we have received comments, good and bad, about our to-go boxes and their lining. Maintaining the quality of to-go pizza (delivery, pick-up, etc.) has always been a tricky thing, and something we have consistently tried to improve upon. The real issue we have found with maintaining quality with “to-go” food is the different styles (deep dish pizzas tend to retain more juice than hand-tossed) and that different toppings tend to produce more juice. For example, a deep dish pizza with veggies, especially mushroom, tends to retain and produce the most juice even after we drain the pizzas.

In the past we used foil to line our boxes (under the pizza), but we found that the foil did not absorb the juice causing the pizza and especially the crust to be extremely soggy. So, we then moved to using corrugated card board as a lining under the pizza. What we found with the corrugated card board is that the card board does a better job of absorbing the remaining juices, thereby creating a less soggy pizza. That being said, the cardboard lining does have its problems as you have so eloquently pointed out.  To be honest we have not tried using wax paper as a lining.Wax paper though, might have a higher chance of melting under a steaming hot pizza. The reason a place like McDonald’s can use wax paper as a lining (and I am assuming you are referring to their hamburgers) is that the buns protecting the hot hamburger are not as hot as a pizza coming straight out of a 520 degree oven. But as I said previously, we are always open to trying new methods, things, etc. and we will experiment with wax paper to see how it holds.Regarding the issue with pizza being eaten in the morning, I would recommend that morning pizza lovers (and I definitely am one) remove the pizza from the box before putting it in the refrigerator.  Finally, you can always ask our staff to remove the cardboard lining from under the pizza or request foil be used instead.Sincerely, Benjamin Zwirek

SirRon
SirRon

Does anyone know what other pizza places use? There are tons of delivery places in the Chicago area that must have the same multi-style issue. Why reinvent the wheel here? Let's get a freaking pizza box think tank consortium thingy going!!

Mike
Mike

 Sorry to be so late with this...

Foil.  Every drippy juicy sloppy scrumptious Chi-town pizza I ordered was on foil.  Now, we don't often get those giant beasties as delivery, because it's such a mess.  You gotta eat them right out of the oven at a table with lots of beer and napkins.  Taking them home was a recipe for disaster...

Oh, and we ended up eating lots of foil.  It sticks to the crust just like everything else.  Maybe we were just tougher in Chicago, because I don't remember anyone whining about having a little foil with their pizza...

Megan
Megan

I remember one place in New Lenox using foil to completely wrap their deep-dish.  I think Uno/Due just plops the pizza right into the box, no cardboard or wax paper thingie.  I'm not sure about Gino's East; we never had leftovers there.  Never been to Giordano's.

Jef With One F
Jef With One F

Now that I know you can, I will definitely ask for foil! I'm still in hella love with your pizza.

Benjamin Zwirek
Benjamin Zwirek

Yes sir. Thank you for that critique! Come visit us anytime!

JEP
JEP

Star Pizza? Isn't this the prick who shut down the Satellite Lounge? 

CootieShot
CootieShot

The prick who caused it to be shut down was the Satellite Lounge owner, who didn't pay his rent.

Corey
Corey

Star the kings/queens of sog..

phliKtid
phliKtid

living only a few blocks from one of their stores for years, i almost always just get a slice or two and eat it there. this last week, however, i - for some reason i've forgotten - got it to go, and the cardboard did indeed stick to the pizza.  and it was indeed annoying.  is that stuff supposed to be wax-coated?  if so, it's not working very well.  if this is something commonly experienced with their pizza to go, i'd think that's something they should consider changing.

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

Go to Pizaro's. Eat entire pizza fresh from oven. Repeat until satiated and/or dead.

ec
ec

No watery crap please.

Wtjstg
Wtjstg

Shil is sooo right...

Benjamin Zwirek
Benjamin Zwirek

Katharine,

We encourage you to give Star Pizza another chance! Stop by either one of our locations for lunch/dinner on us!  

- Benjamin Zwirek

Bodl
Bodl

Pizaro's is excellent.  But also consider Late Night Pie.  The owner is putting an extra char on the pizza.

mommathree
mommathree

ummm owner of late nite pie and the manager were charged with arson for setting fire to late nite pie. don't know if it's the same one... this one was in midtown

SirRon
SirRon

Word up. Pizaro's is freaking BYO too.

Corrugated Paper Breath
Corrugated Paper Breath

Amen, brother!  Makes me want to NEVER order "to go" - which means less in sales because I buy MORE when I order to go (have to have b'fast pizza on hand). 

Eric Henao
Eric Henao

There is always Pinks…

LTD
LTD

From bad to worse.

DenisonU
DenisonU

They glop a ton of stuff on their pies to produce a soggy, greasy mess.Skip the wax paper, learn some moderation and simplicity when it comes to cooking.

Josh
Josh

Did you eat lead paint chips as a child? Its deep dish pizza, that's the entire point.

What's next insisting tacos do without the carb laden tortillas?

DD
DD

Star Pizza doesn't care what you think. Get real. 

Kelli
Kelli

Star Pizza should care what we think, you get real.

DD
DD

You're right, they "should" but they don't. They will serve you cardboard and you will eat it. Plain and simple.

Megan
Megan

I'm going to burn in hell for saying this, but you win the comments section today.

Kelli
Kelli

Well actually I won't eat it.  So poo on you for being dumb enought to eat it.

KentMcClaren
KentMcClaren

Imodern-day Houston, hotel restaurants eat you.

Megan
Megan

In Soviet Russia, pizza cardboard eats YOU!

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