Newman's Own: Margherita Frozen Pizza

Categories: Fast Times

newman1.jpg
Sam Brown
You'll always be the one that got put into my oven.
"I don't want to cook."

"Well, I don't want to spend any money."

"Fine. Then throw one of those frozen pizzas in and let's watch Game of Thrones and get it over with."

This is the conversation that happened in my house on Easter. My girlfriend and I were tired from an entire day of family interaction and polite conversation. We didn't want to go anywhere, spend any money or do anything beyond lifting something from a plate to our mouth.

We have all been here, and we have all, at some point, made the same decision.

Frozen Pizza Night.

I've tried a number of different frozen pizzas over the years -- from Totino's 99 cent pizzas and late-night, drunken Tombstones in college to my more recent favorite, the Kashi-brand frozen pizza. The constants to them all is that they are frozen, they are round and they more or less satisfy your pizza craving.

My local supermarket was offering an excellent deal on Newman's Own brand frozen pizzas last week, and I just couldn't resist. Two pizzas for $9? Get right out of town, HEB.

I would normally shy away from frozen anything. Frozen food usually has too many preservatives and salt. There is also just so much good pizza in Houston that I balk at wasting any opportunity to get my pizza time, but on those occasions when even calling someone to bring something to you is too much, a frozen pizza serves its purpose.

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Sam Brown
Newman's Own doesn't disappoint. Well, not too much. Not on Frozen Pizza Night, anyway, when the bar is lowered and the waistbands are elastic. When the lights are dimmed and the couch is firmly settled into. No, not on a night such as that.

I've always loved Paul Newman, both for his films and the fact that all the profits from his company go to charity. So maybe I'm a little biased, but as far as frozen pies go, this one is certainly up there.

I added some after-market cheese, the shake-able kind that further signals your complete and utter lack of desire to work for your food, and some Italian seasonings, then I popped that pizza unto the middle rack for about 12 minutes.

In this glorious day of food technology, there is something comforting in the thought that, no matter what-- and with just a slight lowering of one's standards-- just about any type of food you would want to eat can be turned from frozen and packaged to hot and edible in a matter of minutes. We've certainly excelled at making life easier for ourselves, and the frozen pizza is the pinnacle.

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Sam Brown
I can eat 50 eggs. Just one pizza, though.
Ready in minutes, a crispy, thin crust under cheese and tomatoes that reasonably match the picture on the box in terms of toppings and toppings distribution came hot out of my oven. It really chaps my arse when I open something that looks nothing like it did on the box. It's a total sham. It's like getting socks for a birthday present. Never cool, Grandma.

Not Newman, though. Oh, no. Not old Paul.

The margherita had little cubes of tomato, which were a nice break from the somewhat bland sauce, but extra cheese and seasoning additions certainly help achieve a better final product. While it's not Luigi's, Newman's Own ranks as one of the better frozen pizzas I've ever settled for in my life. And, truly, let's not call it anything but what it is: settling.

Well, a caveat to this rule would be Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut is settling. Newman's Own frozen pizza is a step and a half above the Hut, in my opinion. They aren't sticking wieners in anything, at least.

If you are craving Pizza, go to Luigi's and revel in the nectar of the gods. If you are craving total and complete convenience, then by all means preheat the oven, pop open a cold one and bask in your sloth with a Newman's Own.



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Location Info

Map

H-E-B

1701 W. Alabama St., Houston, TX

Category: General

Luigi's Pizzeria

3700 Almeda, Houston, TX

Category: Restaurant

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12 comments
Janet231
Janet231

Order Giordano's or Lou Molnatti's from Chicago, and talk to me about these skimpy things in the morning. You'll still be hungry as I slip on my expandable sans-a-belt trousers with a sated smile.

(But I do like Paul Newman stuff...all the way!)

Jim Ayres
Jim Ayres

My favorite frozen pizzas are the Tandoor Chef Naan Pizzas. They're small but inexpensive and not the horrific calorie bombs that other pizzas are.

Yooger
Yooger

Well. I used to like Fuzzy;s.  They totally stink now; even the dog turned up his snout.Newman;s it is.

Corey
Corey

I've found my experience with Newman's own brand has been steadily going downhill.  The quality used to be top notch, now it's average at best. And no frozen pizza is complete without some doctoring up, a little olive oil on the crust, some crushed red pepper, garlic powder, italian seasoning, and some basil from the garden, then your humble $4.00 pizza becomes something worthy of eating.

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

Luigi's is good, but I hope it's not the best in Houston. My last couple of pies weren't stellar, and they drown the wings in too much sauce. It's good sauce, but it's too much sauce.

I'm a fan of the Kashi also. Will give this one a try!

lauren covington
lauren covington

aw, man. i think luigi's is the best in houston :) what's your favorite?? i'm always on the lookout.

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

It was Luigi's for awhile, but my last couple of pies were kind of lackluster. Haven't found anything better yet, though!

Megan
Megan

Pfft.  My husband just bought frozen pizzas because he's getting ready for finals and will be too absorbed in studying to order delivery (hey, YOU try memorizing 100+ cases for Criminal Procedure).  No judgement from me.

Terry Alexander
Terry Alexander

It kills me how you are apologizing for eating a frozen pizza.

I ate at Taco Bell last night and I could really give a rats ass what anyone thinks about that.

Be proud of that frozen pizza and in time you too will be able to eat it without lowering your blinds and turning your phone off.TA

Bruce R
Bruce R

You ate at Taco Bell?  Seriously?  That's so gauche.  I heard the "beef" they serve isn't actually pure beef and that a majority of it is actually ground up chihuahuas.

Terry Alexander
Terry Alexander

 You sure? I thought it tasted more of Labradoodle.TA

lauren covington
lauren covington

i LOVE the central market frozen pizzas. really crispy thing crust. 

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