The 10 Must-Haves at Any Super Bowl Party

Categories: Top 10

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Photo by Ed T.
It doesn't have to look like the old Felix stuff, but you'd better guaran-goddamn-tee that you've got some queso at your Super Bowl party.
Leading up to this Sunday's showdown between the Giants and the Patriots (go Big Blue!), we've been offering up recipes and ideas for those of you brave souls who are hosting Super Bowl parties at home. And if you've decided that you don't want to take the easy way out by ordering a party pack of barbecue, here are some tips to keep in mind this Sunday.

According to my wonderful Facebook friends, all of the things below are must-haves for any Super Bowl viewing party. Although I've successfully managed to avoid attending most Super Bowl parties throughout my 31 years (too much yelling, and far too much forced fraternization with the often-boring significant others of acquaintances or co-workers), these are all foods and beverages which I can attest to having seen at every Super Bowl function I've attended. (Many of these standards can also be seen at other important Texas gatherings: church potlucks, funerals, graduation parties, quinceñearas, etc.) Your mileage may vary.

10. Tortilla pinwheels

I think these are the pimento cheese sandwiches of Texas. You see them everywhere and no one can actually remember who brought them to the party. They just appear mysteriously, like Brigadoon, before fading back into the post-game mist. But not before you've polished most of them off, because they're actually crazy delicious.

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Photo by Rachel S. Lee
Finger sandwiches: Not made with real fingers.
9. Pizza

Pizza is great for a crowd, obviously. And Houston has no shortage of great pizza delivery joints from which to choose, so this should be a no-brainer. Someone brings their bratty, picky kid to the party? Sit them in front of the cheese pizza: instant babysitter.

8. Tiny sandwiches

Maybe filled with pimento cheese, maybe not. It depends on how Southern your party guests are. I prefer my tiny sandwiches filled with more substantial stuff: ham and cream cheese or whatever weird shit old ladies are putting between slices of white bread with the crusts cut off these days. Like the tortilla pinwheels, these often appear magically and with no attribution.

7. Vegetable tray

Heavy on the carrots and celery, of course. This is the tray you hover over if you're trying to "eat healthy" on game day. Which you then negate by dipping every vegetable stick into the unnaturally thick sour cream/Ranch dressing dip in the middle. Twice.

6. Dr Pepper and iced tea

You obviously need to offer beverages to your party guests. This being Texas, Dr Pepper and iced tea are the beverages of choice. You can also sub in Coke, but never Pepsi. And don't pre-sweeten the tea for your guests: This isn't Georgia. Let them tackle that task themselves.


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13 comments
jasonE
jasonE

Best last line ever

Dthirkell
Dthirkell

You should have had an entry just for Ranch dressing

Jalapeno
Jalapeno

Red curry chicken wings, pulled pork sandwiches, brisket!  Bacon wrapped stuffed jalapenos, of course.

FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard

Ok, kids.  Don't say I never did anything for you.  I've been doing this for years and everybody loves it.  Chuy's creamy jalapeno dip: Buy and mix 1 packet powdered Hidden Vally Ranch dip and sour cream like normal. Then add 3/4 cup pickled jalapenos, 1/2 cup fresh cilantro and 1 tomatillo into a food processor and pulverize them. Add to the dip and you're done.

ribalding
ribalding

FYI, equal parts vodka, iced tea, and Dr Pepper make a surprisingly tasty cocktail. 

(I know I know.  Sounds nasty.  But it's good....even better with a bit of lime juice.)

Megan
Megan

You, sir, are a god among men.

FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard

 I can also say that I doubled the recipe, and it is even easier to follow:  2 packets HVR dip, 32 oz. sour cream, 1 bunch cilantro, 1 12 oz. jar of jalapenos, using the juice in the bottle to get dip to desired thickness, and 3 tomatillos.  Again, pulverize and add to ranch dip.

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