Health Department Roundup

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I remember one time I made love, in the back of a restaurant, and the health inspector shined his light on me, and I said, "I'm strokin', that's what I'm doin', I be strokin'."
Slow week for punitive measures -- the Health Department issued no citations and temporarily closed just one place. Looks like you'll have to get your schadenfreude elsewhere. Try reading a few stories about the former captain of the Costa Concordia, that should work.

The recipient of that closure order was Pizza Aroma Café (6285 Bissonnet). Eight violations included holding food at improper temperatures; not taking appropriate measures to minimize the presence of bugs; food-contact surfaces not kept clean of grease/soil deposits; no certified manager on duty; and no thermometer to measure fridge temperatures.

This may surprise some folks, but Chapultepec (813 Richmond, misspelled as "Chapultapec" in the report) earned only half a dozen violations during a recent routine inspection. Those included food stored in unclean or uncovered containers; food not properly protected from contamination; dirty vent filters; and ill-fitting bathroom doors. No violation for Clarence Carter on the jukebox, despite the fact that Carter is downright nasty.

Someone complained about Cricket's Creamery (315 W. 19th), but an inspection turned up only three violations: employee not wearing effective hair restraint; accumulated dust/dirt/debris; and no one with a Flying Spaghetti Monster's Food Service Manager's Certification on duty. Can teenagers even get those?

Waldo's Coffee House (1030 Heights Blvd.) is the kind of place some people (not us, we're too cool) would describe as "funky," or possibly "kooky," but it's definitely not "dirty." A recent inspection turned up three violations -- no test kit to measure active ingredients in cleaning solution; no one with a FSMC on duty; and lack of a "no smoking" sign.

Istanbul in the Village (5613 Morningside) didn't get written up for a single violation during a routine inspection, despite probably being run by Islamic terrorists.

Name of the Week:
A consultative visit from a sanitarian turned up nothing wrong at Whatacrock (12342 Market). The name makes it sound like this is some kind of place you can buy food cooked using an implement designed to require very little user input, for when you're feeling so lazy that if you could be bothered to raise your arms you'd be tempted to flag down a passing ambulance and ask the EMTs to borrow one of those devices that breathes for you.



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