A Series of Haikus to Muscle Milk

Categories: Beverages

musclemilk.jpg
An ode to the case of Muscle Milk that inexplicably arrived in our offices today:

Why are you so sweet?
Your cloying fake chocolate
Makes you tough to bear

Let us not discuss
The fact you contain no milk
Lies taste of despair

I would rather eat
Seven thousand chicken breasts
Than swallow this muck

So what if you have
Twenty grams of pure protein?
I don't give a fuck



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10 comments
kelly
kelly

Ingredients?

Ray
Ray

The last two stanzas were pure greatness. 

Jamie
Jamie

YES. There's just not enough food poetry happening in Houston. #HaikuHappy

Grant
Grant

Just wait Shilcutt,

20 grams of protein is going to hit hard. I expect a mad dash to the bathrooms in about another 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

csoakley
csoakley

I took home a sample bottle from a 5k back in April. I took one sip, replaced the cap and put it back in the fridge. At this point I'm afraid if it finds out I am going to throw it away it will beat the shit out of me.

Any advice?

Renerodriguez3
Renerodriguez3

I don't know what your thinking. That shit taste good.

Grant
Grant

2 parts 'colon blow' 1 part 'not milk'

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

Lucky for me I only gagged my way through two sips instead of the whole bottle.

Grant
Grant

You're a trooper. I took my time and finally finished mine a few minutes ago. Sort of reminds me of Ensure with caffeine. Definitely not nearly as bad as the 5 Hour Energy. I wrote about it here:

http://goo.gl/U9JPW

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