Fast Times: Chicken Soup and a BLT Sub with Avocado at Subway

Categories: Fast Times

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Photos: Christina Uticone
Maybe I'm anthropomorphizing my sandwich, but is it grimacing at me?
The alternate title for this blog post was "Fast Times: Wasting a Perfectly Good Hangover at Subway." Hangovers and killer death flu situations are my go-to fast food days; something about the loads of salt and sugar and fat takes the edge off of the worst hangovers, and cuts through a bad flu. So I was kind of excited when my Fast Times tasting day coincided with a night-before of too much wine drinking.

Since Subway has recently added fresh avocado to its list of toppings (for a limited time only) I have had it on my Fast Times list. I'm a big avocado fan, and if given the option I'll choose it over cheese any day of the week for my sandwich. But alas, avocados are not superheroes and nothing could salvage this sandwich.

As far as fast food joints go, I like Subway. In 2009 my husband and I drove from Alaska to New York State and back and forth between Houston and New York three times -- do you have any idea how many six inch subs from Subway I ate during these road trips? The answer is: a shit ton. Yes, that is a real measurement -- my husband is a scientist, so you can trust me.

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Dear Christina: You will regret the five seconds immediately after this photo was taken. Love, Future Christina.
This meal was a loser from start to finish. I ordered up the chicken soup because I thought something warm and salty would be comforting; rather, it was a scalding cup of soup that burned my tongue and tasted no better than something out of a can. Subway gets points for serving it with tasty club crackers rather than Saltines, but that's the only plus; I tossed the soup after six bites.

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The bacon is giving me the finger, but did I take the hint? Answer: No.
As far as the sandwich, I am convinced that Subway uses shredded lettuce that is specifically engineered to slide off of the bread as quickly as possible. I had a hangover but not the shakes, so why the lettuce wouldn't stay between the two sides of the bun is beyond me -- I ended up pulling it all off. The bacon was positively soggy -- even McDonald's manages to get bacon crispier -- and the addition of the avocado actually made the overall texture of the sandwich worse: it was a soft, gooey mess with little flavor. I opted out of a toasted bun, but I don't think that's where this sandwich started to fail. The best part of the meal was a bag of Sun Dried Tomato & Basil potato chips by Lays, and they definitely benefited by comparison to the rest of the food.

I skipped a Whataburger for this? My hangover remained unavenged.



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17 comments
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Yumyum
Yumyum

I learned a long time ago that the best thing to get at Subway is a Vegeterian Sandwhich and ask nicely to drag it through the garden and load it up as much as possible.

When you add a protein all it does is load the sandwich with tons of salt and that is all you will taste.

Try it some time.  If you just eat the veggies it actually tastes like something other than salt.

Bruce R
Bruce R

Subway sucks.  But you've eaten there a shitload of times so you should know that.  But you don't.

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

*sigh* Bruce, you are so hard to please. If I like something, you get mad. If I don't like something, you get mad. I've noticed you find a LOT wrong with me and the way I eat, and the way I write about what I eat. I apologize for making you so unhappy.

For the record, when you're driving from Alaska to New York, sometimes Subway is all you get, especially when you like to take a shit on a daily basis. I'd love to have eaten nothing but cheeseburgers, but some of us enjoy not being constipated on three week road trips. And I've loved every 6-inch veggie delite on wheat w/ swiss I've ever eaten from Subway, so deal with it.

criminal cookie
criminal cookie

it still amazes me the amount of food that EOW bloggers casually "toss after six bites..."

Hugh Ramsey
Hugh Ramsey

Why, do you enjoy eating garbage?

criminal cookie
criminal cookie

no, but as the majority of EOW bloggers seem to be enamored with notions of "sustainability,' "snout-to-tail eating," and similar presumably respectful treatments of food and ingredients, they certainly go out of their way to literally trash something when it doesn't agree with their allegedly refined palates. why not leave it out of the review? you all sound like spoiled, elitist children

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

I do not CASUALLY toss away food, ever. The soup was bad. I love the way you lump me in with this class of EOW bloggers who are "enamored with" whatever. When did I claim my palate was so refined, anyway? If you're going to insult me, insult ME, but don't use things I've never claimed to be, or have.

As for sounding spoiled and elitist, I think I have plenty to learn from you.

criminal cookie
criminal cookie

delete "I tossed the soup after six bites." the rest of the assessment of the soup still makes the point

Wyatt
Wyatt

Why not leave a big part of the meal out of the review because it's bad? You do know what a review is, right?

Rick
Rick

like mom always said, "rick, there are people starving in Africa, eat that!"

to which I replied, "here, send it to them, I don't want to see them suffer..."

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

Just wondering... What would you have done with the remainder of a sandwich or a bowl of soup that you simply weren't going to eat?

Cmetz0369
Cmetz0369

You should have stuck with the tuna on wheat.

Yeah that's right.
Yeah that's right.

The lack of toasting is where you did fail. :( The bacon is kept in the cold bins, it only gets hot and crispy when you toast the sammich.

Subway somehow managed to ruin avocado, though, I've tried it twice and both times it was the most meh thing you can imagine!

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

Perhaps, but it's not where the sandwich started to fail. Not even close. It would have mitigated the awfulness, at best.

And you're right about the avocado.

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