Top 5: Better with Ranch Dressing

Categories: Top Five

Hot wings89.JPG
Salad is better with ranch dressing, to be sure, and so is pizza, although Italians and Brooklyn guys may not realize that dipping pizza in ranch is protected by the Constitution. Here are five other foods that are better with ranch dressing:

5. Chicken Tenders
The acme of this All-American dressing is the garlic buttermilk ranch at Hillstone's (or Houston's). Chicken tenders are on the kid's menu, but if you ask, the accommodating staff will serve you an adult portion. The large pieces are juicy white on the inside, with a billowy panko-flaky crust. Try the odd-tasting honey mustard sauce before asking for extra ranch, with enhanced appreciation.

4. Baked Potatoes
A deluxe ranch, with cheddar cheese, could carry a baked potato on its own. But there's no reason to stop there. Diners in southwest Houston know the best ranch can be found at Old Hickory Inn Barbecue (5427 S. Braeswood). The jumbo foil-wrapped "baker" is thoroughly tender. Ask for butter, cheese, and chives, and stock up on ranch at the fixin's bar. Chopped sausage on top gives a smoky contrast to the ranch, but veto the ketchupy barbecue sauce.

3. Celery
Cooked celery may be a foundation of French mirepoix, and with bell peppers and onions, part of the holy trinity of Cajun and Creole cooking, but raw celery is merely a Ranch Delivery System.

2. French Fries
This applies if the French fries are spicy, or the fries are average and the ranch is not.

1. Hot Wings
Whoever designed the orange-and-white Hooters outfits had the fashion sense of a football coach, which makes it easier to notice what makes Hooters Girls truly attractive--their friendly service. With a smile, they'll bring you breaded hot wings and average spicy curly fries (see No.2), or "naked" wings for a lighter fare. The ranch dressing is 69¢, as is the bleu cheese for comparison, but there is no comparison.

As a bonus for parents, Hooters is louder and rowdier than the kids, so you can actually enjoy the primo ranch dressing. Ultimate Fighting on the monitors and The Cure droning in the background gives you that No. 1 Dad feeling.



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33 comments
craig
craig

Blue Cheese is Ranch's daddy.   

YourFoodSherpa
YourFoodSherpa

 I'm not sure when it happened, but ranch dressing (and the notion that everything needs to be dipped into some kind of dressing/sauce to be palatable) is perhaps the single greatest thing that has led to the dumbing down of food in America.

Bodl
Bodl

My wife is a ranch dressing fiend, but only when it comes to steaks. We went to one of the crazy-expensive steak house last weekend, and she ordered ranch dressing on the side of her double rib-eye. I rolled my eyes, but snuck a few dips on my own steak. Yum!

44pumpkins
44pumpkins

 How could you forget fried pickles?! they are the second most important thing that needs dipping in ranch after buffalo wings as far as I'm concerned. wow. really?

Sarathforten
Sarathforten

 I agree with good beer battered mushrooms...good ones like @ Pappy's Cafe

Texasota
Texasota

...and I'm going to have to go throw up now.

Fear2stop
Fear2stop

 Ugh...ranch on pizza is disgusting. And don't use it on wing.s..blue cheese is better -_-

Christine Ha
Christine Ha

Ate at a pizza joint in downtown Denver last year, and my husband asked for ranch to dip his pizza in.  The waiter was appalled and refused to give it to us.  Their pizza wasn't even good.  Those schmucks don't know good food.

smoky888
smoky888

Beer Batter Fried Mushrooms!!!!!  

Stevenstonetx
Stevenstonetx

I've been getting the chicken tenders regularly at Houston's for about twenty years and my tenders have never had panko on them... and they're served with what I've been told is Mustard Honey, not Honey Mustard, and BBQ Sauce.

JB
JB

I find ranch disgusting, but pizza?  Thankfully I've never seen anyone do that, as it would seriously threaten my remaining appetite.

SirRon
SirRon

The inclusion of that picture would have been inexcusable if not for the Percy appearance. 

SirRon
SirRon

Next up. Top 5 flavors of Pop Tarts.

Hopefully.

Laura Crane
Laura Crane

Can't believe you left off fried okra!  Hmm, I may have to cook some up tonight. 

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

Buffalo wings do not deserve such an insult. Ranch dressing? No sir. Blue cheese, and blue cheese only. Don't say #1 too loud if you're ever in Buffalo - your safety would be in question! :) I don't expect those who grew up outside of NY to understand the heresy, though ;-)

And skip the "breaded" wing - that's not a true Buffalo wing.

Lauren
Lauren

 this is why we're fat

Just Another Reader
Just Another Reader

Hooters wings are much better prepared naked and Daytona style.  Also, the ranch dressing needs a little of the Hooters hot sauce mixed in.

Bruce R
Bruce R

Wouldn't all of these things be even better with bleu cheese?

SirRon
SirRon

I don't think disgusting means what you think it means.

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

Agreed. In fact, fried veggie baskets in general. Although a place I like in Upstate NY has a creamy horseradish sauce that goes well w/ the 'shrooms, too.

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

I actually have to second this. Especially the ones from Rudz. 

John Kiely
John Kiely

Correct.  Panko-flaky was meant to imply flaky and light like a Japanese crust, and it indeed has no actual panko.  The BBQ sauce is better on their highly underrated ribs.

2X4
2X4

Probably we're fat because we sit around all day and read food blogs. 

Theo
Theo

Bruce R speaks the truth.  

JMills
JMills

True dat Bruce R. Ranch is for those with no taste. 

SirRon
SirRon

I don't even know why they make flavors other than Frosted Strawberry.

Scott Lynch
Scott Lynch

Fair enough... I should have qualified "crappy pizza." ;) I wouldn't put ranch dressing on pizza from a place like Lombardi's.

John Kiely
John Kiely

Let me rephrase that...I don't "side" with them, but rather agree that a pizza made by an Italian or New Yorker tastes best without ranch.  Other than that, I don't tell people what they can or can't put on their food, and I sure don't want them telling me.

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