Whole Foods Now Hiring 300 Houston Workers

Categories: Grocery Guide

Screen shot 2011-04-06 at 3.41.23 PM.jpg
This guy either already works there, or will be applying.
Anarcho-socialist free range green organic vegan gluten-free hippie liberal commie pinko grocery chain Whole Foods has announced that they're hiring 300 (or so) workers in the Houston area.

And we have a totally legit Whole Foods job application for you to check out after the jump.

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John Gray/ Monica Fuentes
Click here for a full-size doc.
Whole Foods is a very respectable chain; their stores are always clean, their soups and sandwiches are amazing, their produce is always super-fresh, and they are most certainly unblemished by poor people skulking about, the way they do over at Fiesta.

For those of you wondering what they're looking for in potential employees, why, we just happen to have acquired a sample job application, which we are in no way making up.



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13 comments
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Seriously you guys
Seriously you guys

Really? Did you put all these blog posts in the queue a week ago and forget to actually post them or something?

Bayou619
Bayou619

if you have half a brain, you are overqualified to work for Whole Foods. they hate people who can think for themselves. yeah, they start you off at a higher per hour wage. doesn't increase much after that. folks that work there can't even afford to shop there.

anon
anon

yup, they basically want unquestioning automatons to work there. The managers see to it. Heil!

(i am reapplying lol)

H_e_x
H_e_x

Same with Rice Epicurean. They get paid even less than people at Whole Foods and you better believe they don't shop at their own store as well.

Tyler4all
Tyler4all

Haha, so true. I know people that work there that shop at HEB and they don't hide it. Also heard about how WF doesn't care for people who think for themselves, at all. yeah, very accurate description, haha

Mattb
Mattb

Did you cry after you were fired?

Bayou619
Bayou619

only store you can get fired at in the Houston metro is the Sugarland store. HR is by the book. you have to damn near come in and shoot someone to be fired at the other stores. that is of course if you are in the circle.

i transferred in from the west coast. i was warned not to come to the Southwest region. i should of listened. i was back on the west coast 6 months later.

Cheflambo
Cheflambo

Lacking piercings and/or tats, this is just ANOTHER job I don't qualify for.

CathyMat
CathyMat

You never know, Cheflambo!

H_e_x
H_e_x

I love this comment on channel 11's site. "will they be able to speak english? will they be here legally? will they comply with all the health codes? NO...NO....NO"Talk about "get off my lawn and turn down that damn music"

Flim
Flim

Slightly embarrassed to say that I'm highly competent at the last bullet point.

trisch
trisch

You should have seen the job description and requirements for the litigation manager position in their legal department!

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