Top 5: Restrooms

Categories: Top Five

caffebello.jpg
Caffe Bello.
I'm a bit of a germaphobe, not like Jack Nicholson from As Good As It Gets, but a germaphobe nonetheless. A good restroom says a lot about a restaurant, with important aspects including cleanliness, visual appeal, and overall coolness. These are my top five restaurant restrooms in Houston.

5. Octane Coffee & Wine Lounge
What this place lacks in service, it makes up for in d├ęcor. This coffeehouse is mellow, stylish and hip--and the restrooms are no different. The cement floors, orange walls, and artsy mirror all stand out, but the star is definitely the light fixtures. They are industrially cool and very unique. By the way, maybe the service is picking up at Octane. I ordered a cup of coffee to-go it was delivered promptly.
Restroom deuceability: Get comfortable

haven123.jpg
Haven.
4. Haven
Like everything else in Haven, the bathroom is "green," both literally and figuratively. The soft colors and minimalist look just agree with me. But are those things enough? Not to make this list. More is needed, and that comes in the form of a super sweet hand-dryer. It's just plain awesome, and in the future, I must own one. Until then, I hope that more of these pop up at dining establishments.
Restroom deuceability: Stay awhile, but not too long

3. Big Woodrow's
This is the only restroom that solely makes the list based on sentimentality. In my early twenties, I spent most of my Thursday nights at Little Woodrow's for the karaoke and $1 beers. Due to my walnut-size bladder, I frequented the latrines quite often throughout the night. It's been a few years, but I remember LW's bathroom being a lively place filled with odd, drunken conversations and the proclamation of "God, I have to piss!" from just about every patron.
Restroom deuceability: You may want to hover

2. Caffe Bello
Have you ever had to walk into a fine restaurant and tell the manager you're just there to take a picture of his bathroom for an article you're writing? Nope? I have. The fine people at Caffe Bello made that awkward moment seem like no big deal, which I appreciated. Their restroom is simple, yet classy. The tiny, mosaic tiles are the highlight for me. They are all over the place, but at the same time, not overwhelming to the eye. Also, there's an added nice touch in the men's restroom--those curved, piss-guard urinals. I love these things, as they decrease the chance of backsplash by tenfold.
Restroom deuceability: Get comfortable

1. Maggiano's Little Italy
Maybe it's because I am going through a Boardwalk Empire phase, but I just think Maggiano's restrooms are tops. It always feels like I'm taking a leak in roaring '20s, with some Chicago mobster about to whack me from behind, no pun intended. Are they the cleanest? No. Are they the fanciest? No. But in my book, it gets no better in Houston.
Restroom deucebility: Stay awhile, but not too long

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Location Info

Venue

Map

Haven

2502 Algerian Way, Houston, TX

Category: Restaurant

Big Woodrow's Bar & Grill

3111 Chimney Rock, Houston, TX

Category: Music

Caffe Bello - CLOSED

322 Westheimer, Houston, TX

Category: Restaurant

Maggiano's Little Italy

2019 Post Oak Blvd., Houston, TX

Category: Restaurant

My Voice Nation Help
21 comments
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SirRon
SirRon

Fox Hollow, although I'm not into the place, has some of the best restrooms I've seen in a bar. On the other end of the spectrum... Ginger Man in Rice Village.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Worst deuce experience I've ever had was in a Kroger bathroom in Galveston...they had the heat up to what felt like 100 degrees, the toilet paper was like sandpaper, then some smallface moron walks in on me because apparently the lock on the stall didn't work. Terrible.

Matt Chow
Matt Chow

The restrooms at BRC are nice.

Jeff Bentch
Jeff Bentch

Little Zimm's has gorgeous bathrooms and The Harp's bathrooms are much nicer than you would expect from the bar.

Guest name
Guest name

I think the bathrooms at Fitzgeralds are pretty nice...

sidb
sidb

Voice. If that place ever closes, I want to rent out their men's room and live in it.

Kyle
Kyle

Marfreless used to have naked ladies all over the walls of the men's room but now they just have adult comics they clipped out.

camelback
camelback

I love that bathroom. and how about the semi-secret bathroom at McElroy's Shepherd/Greenbriar

Brittanie Shey
Brittanie Shey

Deuceability? Gross.

There is a local chain of Subway-esque sandwich shops in Oklahoma City called City Bites, and they are known for their WAAAAACKY! decor. The restrooms all have one-way glass, so as you are dropping deuce you can look upon the diners with smug satisfaction.

Urumomo
Urumomo

wtf ? you're kidding , right ?

Kevin Shalin
Kevin Shalin

It is true. I go to Ok City about three times a year. Have never been to this place,but it's now on the top of my list.

Ruthie J M
Ruthie J M

Stella Sola's bathroom is great -- It's got the Dyson hand blowers leftover from the place's former life as Bedford. Worst bathroom in the area? Gilhooley's, Gilhooley's, Gilhooley's.

Kevin Shalin
Kevin Shalin

I smell a Top 5: Worst Restrooms. Think I'll pass.

RW
RW

Barnaby's has good restrooms. Single occupant, spacious, fairly clean, fun stuff painted on the walls.

Ricardo
Ricardo

I like the hand dryers at Barnaby's original location.

camelback
camelback

With the sometimes difficult-to-comprehend and lude British comics framed on the walls, the Red Lion's restrooms are entertaining. And although they only have one receptacle for #2 (if I recall correctly), I believe it has a full height door, which is always nice. More of a homey feel.

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

I love the ladies' room at Red Lion. Doors that go all the way down to the floor = no feeling of being trapped in one of Houston's classic 1960's era high schools or in a shitty government building with flimsy MDF doors and cheap locks. I wish more restrooms did this.

Kyle
Kyle

Vic & Anthony's has some very nice bathrooms.

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