What a Crock: No Beans About It Chili

Categories: Recipes

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After reading this piece from Nicholas L. Hall and taking a gander at the comments section, I quickly realized what a volatile subject chili is for some people. Take, for example, the comment from Fatty FatBastard: "If you think beans add anything but texture and filler, you're an idiot."

I happen to think beans do add a lot to chili, but can respect where he's coming from. Chili, a dish that can certainly define a region, does often get personal. I've cooked and eaten every type of chili you could imagine, and only one, Cincinnati-style, doesn't quite do it for me. So, for this week's What a Crock, I'm keeping it simple. Here's a traditional, no-bean chili just for you, Fatty FatBastard.

The rundown
This chili recipe is as simple and classic as you're going to find. There are no frills (and again, no beans) -- just your basic chili. Notice that it's technically not a crock pot recipe. Well, it is now.

The taste
Solid. If you're looking for a standard, easy chili recipe, this one's for you. It's not too spicy, has a limited number of easy-to-find-ingredients, and only takes about ten minutes of prep work. The red wine vinegar gives it a nice tang, and all the spices blend well together. Feel free to add some cheddar, diced onions, and sour cream to your bowl.

The ease
I recommend setting all your ingredients out on the counter. Next, chop your garlic and onions. Start browning the meat and add the chopped ingredients. Dump the other ingredients into the crock pot. Once the meat has browned and the onions are soft, drain the mixture. Add the mixture to the crock pot and set on low for 6-8 hours.

The kid factor
I diced up some zucchini (you probably couldn't even tell) for my kids. My 19-month-old ate nearly two bowls. That should be a fun diaper to change tomorrow.

Anyway, the kids loved it, I really liked it, and so did the wife. Try it out let me hear about the results, especially you, Fatty FatBastard!



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15 comments
Nicholas L. Hall
Nicholas L. Hall

Ok, seriously? Nobody is going to call him on the meat? No offense, Kevin. Fatty FatBastard, the very video you cited, both here and on my post, had Mr. Brown procuring stewing meat, which he undoubtedly diced, to use in his Texas Red. If you're going to be a stickler, be a stickler. Don't pussyfoot around just because he left out the beans. Here I was starting to think you were a man of conviction.

Melanjj
Melanjj

Flotsam & Jetsam that seems like it would work wonders in chili, but don't...zucchini, green peppers, beans, jalapenos, beans, pasta, armadillo, cinnamon, Cincinnati, beans, mushrooms--

SirRon
SirRon

Zucchini?! Go to hell, you freaking idiot greaseball!

Cheers!

Festus
Festus

SOUR CREAM?

Good Lawd, what a Yankee...

trisch
trisch

I hear you on Cincinnati chili! I was excited to try the stuff when my sister moved to Cincy. I dove right in with chili four way (over spaghetti with cheese and onions). Oof. Sat in my stomach like a lead ball and wouldn't digest. It was two weeks before I felt human again. Never again!

Fatty FatBastard
Fatty FatBastard

The last time I made chili, I followed the procedure I linked below. That said, I will try this recipe and let you know how it turns out. Might as well use my crock pot once in a while, after all...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Nicholas L. Hall
Nicholas L. Hall

Kevin, this is great. If I know Fatty FatBastard, though, I'm guessing he's going to jump on you for using ground beef. Take it away, Fatty.

Fatty FatBastard
Fatty FatBastard

Oh, I'm a man of my conviction, but it begins and ends with beans. This has been a new development, and one I've quashed before. I am a chili purist. If you want shit added, go with the Cinnabun crew in Cincy. And while you're there ask why stupid shit shouldn't be added to chili.

Game. Set. Match.

Bruce R
Bruce R

No jalapenos? I agree that chunks of jalapenos would disturb the appearance and consistency of the chili, but sometimes I mortar and pestle fresh jalapenos with garlic, habaneros, cumin seeds, etc., and form a paste. Then I saute the meat with the paste and take it from there.

Although I prefer no beans in chili, I'm not quite as fervent about that as FBB. But then again, nobody is. He's the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on no-beans-in-chili.

Kevin Shalin
Kevin Shalin

I once invited people over for a game and made Cincy chili (thinking I'd be different). It looked great but tasted like ass.

Bruce R
Bruce R

FFB, that's it? No rant about lack of authenticity? Are you biting your tongue? I thought you were a pillar of purity, but now it looks like you're just another drunk sitting at the bar. Just like the rest of us.

Nicholas L. Hall
Nicholas L. Hall

Ladies and gentlemen, here we have a man whose convictions begin and end with beans. Draw your own conclusions.

Fatty FatBastard
Fatty FatBastard

Nothing more authentic than a chili recipe that doesn't call for beans. (or cinnamon. *shudders*)

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