All Your Protein Bars Are Belong to Us

Categories: On the Menu

gamer-food.jpg
Nothing like guarana and essential vitamins to help you kick ass at Halo.
Nerds don't tend to eat well.

Whether you are watching an epic Dr. Who marathon or trying to vanquish your mortal enemy (i.e. Kenny in accounting) in World of Warcraft, it's tough to take your hand off the controls or your eyes off the screen long enough to consume anything more substantive than Cheetos and Red Bull.

And let's face it, there's no time to cook anything other than a microwave dinner or a frozen pizza. Hell, you don't have time to clean, bathe or get up to go to the bathroom (hello, empty Coke bottles!), so there's no way you're going to lose your edge in Call of Duty for food.

Well, you're in luck, Sparky, because a new company feels your pain and wants to help keep you fresh for that Legend of Zelda tournament this weekend. Meet Gamer Food, providing sustenance for freaks stealthy wizards like yourself.

We at gamer food believe that hunger, malnourishment, and fatigue are our mortal enemies in a never-ending war, and like any good warrior we never go into battle unprepared.

That's why we have striven to craft the most powerful weapons possible.

We use materials of the utmost quality and we stand by our work. We are sharing it because although we may be opponents in the virtual world, we are all allies in the real one!

Gamer Food, whose tag line is "Pwn your Hunger," sells an assortment of health and energy bars with video game-like packaging, names and messages. For about 30 bucks, you can get yourself 12 Cookie Dough bars that will "give you just the boost you need to steamroll your opponents," or the Health Bar, which contains goji berries and macadamia butter.

So, eat up, epic warrior, because no matter what your nutritional needs, apparently Gamer Food has got you covered.


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10 comments
Physical Therapy Management
Physical Therapy Management

Gamer food consist of the almond and along with the apple's pickle this is very wonderful recipe  to digest the food with better  way.

best protein bars
best protein bars

4. Glance at the included ingredients: All ingredients used to make the protein bar also need to be verified as a few could be harmful for your health. Some of these include artificial sweeteners, high-fructose corn syrup, and onosodium glutamate. 

best protein bars
best protein bars

Protein bars are nutritional supplements or quality meal replacements aimed at the complete daily health requirements of men, women and children. These bars contain the purest form of all-organic components essential for nutritional purposes. The proteins soy or whey, a by-product of milk, is typically used in making these products. In the recent past, it has been a common trend amongst most leading food companies to come up with these healthy and low carbohydrate bars. Protein bars are perfect substitutes for a meal and come in an easy to carry wrapped form. Furthermore, they are also considered as a good food source to burn extra fat.

Thomas Bowden
Thomas Bowden

As a suggestion you should research your target audience and their interests. My skin crawled as I read this article and the biggest thing that stood out was: "Legend of Zelda tournament." I think I'll leave it up to you to RESEARCH what is so terribly wrong with that sentence.

Anon
Anon

Thanks for the stereotyping there, Jeff. Really helps gaming become more mainstream...

Jr
Jr

Like the title. Nice. I probly put a bar in a blender and add in a little milk, making it into a smoothie. Make it faster to consume, faster you get back to pawning.

Guest
Guest

Not a bad idea. Nice one Jeff!

Jeff
Jeff

Given the fact that video games out pace music sales by a pretty wide margin, I'd say gamers are already mainstream and I seriously doubt a little teasing will damage that. :)

Jeff
Jeff

Creative. I like it.

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