This Week in Deliciousness

Categories: Leftovers

chewing-gum-turkey.jpg
That's a chewing gum turkey someone made, just in case you hadn't lost your faith in God yet.
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we're still trying to gather the courage to look up what a "giblet" is. In case you were abroad for this past week, or else belong to one of those oh-so-joyous-and-fun religions who don't celebrate holidays, this past week was Thanksgiving, and today is Black Friday. So in other words, many of you died Wednesday night attempting to drink enough to numb the fear of facing your relatives, and many of you were trampled to death this morning so that a herd of cattle-like soccer moms could be the first ones to obtain a copy of Epic Mickey for their shrieking little yuppie spawn's Nintendo Wii. So let us have a brief moment of silence for those no longer with us.

Okay, enough of that. On with the smartassery!

First off, we posed the question "What time do you eat Thanksgiving dinner?" and of course the responses ranged from "Whenever" to "Noon on the dot and anyone who disagrees is a retarded communist terrorist whom I will murder." Reasonable! These latter commenters later had their heads imploded when we suggested some alternative Thanksgiving meals.

We gave you a flow chart on a pie called the Creamy White Deliciousness, which is quite a coincidence, as that also happened to be my nickname for much of high school. We also got you up to speed on some crock pot chicken tortilla soup, because Houston up and decided to go ahead and have a winter after all sometime last night.

In addition to being City With Moody, Downright Bitchy Weather, Houston is also now Burger Town USA, which I think may have also been a Springsteen album at some point. We also checked into Cafe Moustache, which is so-named because they serve French food, although more hipsters have the curlicue handlebar mustache than French people, these days. A funny thing happens when you ironically grow a mustache, though: before long, you love it in a very unironic manner. As you should have all along.

Apparently people sometimes don't eat pizza for breakfast? Weird. Not as weird as these turkey-shaped abominations, though. Holy shit. The Matzoh Turkey seriously looks like it's made out of brains.

This week's Food Fight centered on sesame chicken, which is depressing when you think that every time someone orders a sesame chicken, another Big Bird has to die.

We reached the number one pumpkin dish in Houston, at long last! And it's still the holiday season! For some reason, eating pumpkin-y stuff becomes wholly inappropriate at midnight on New Year's.

Some lists of fives close out the week, including how to chop an onion without crying, where to find good hot chocolate, which pies to pick up from the Flying Saucer, and of course, the five greatest movie pie scenes. I can't believe Pootie Tang didn't make the list.

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