This Week in Deliciousness

Categories: Leftovers

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Hi there, Minsa! Take your seat next to Sun Maid raisins and Land-O-Lakes butter in the "Totally Bangable Food Mascots" section.

Welcome back to the weekly round-up here at Eating Our Words, where we're waiting until there's a public health care option to organize our Inappropriately Fried Foods Festival. We can't wait until you guys get to try our patented mac 'n' cheese corn dogs! Greenway Barista started off the week with some oyster porn, and Robb revealed the choice breakfast for those who want to start the day right: a big bowl of meat. Ruthie Johnson went to Hot Pot City and didn't try the pig uterus, which as far as we're concerned should be a criminal offense.

Robb ran across Minsa-brand organic masa seca, which is not to be confused with Mensa, a group of people who claim to be geniuses yet very few of whom are able to make homemade tortillas. Doesn't sound very smart to TWiD. In sadder news, Taco Bell founder Glen Bell passed away this week, and Jane Catherine Collins did him the honor of counting down the top five Taco Bell moments.

The Shameless Chef made the least-photogenic chowder of all time, while Robb was pleasantly surprised by the breakfast at Chacho's. Mike Morris took some visitors from out of town on a barbecue spree around the Bayou City, and although their findings go into more detail in the article, the gist of it seemed to be "better than the shit that passes for barbecue in Detroit."

Denise King of the Black Labrador was the subject of this week's Bartender Chat, and only Robb dared fly among the eagles with his doubly besausaged poor boy. Katharine Shilcutt offered five smelly-ass foods you shouldn't cook in the office, and there seemed to be some mystery as to why popcorn is always getting burnt. We'll tell you why: Fools get greedy. They're not happy until every last kernel gets popped. The problem is, if you sit there waiting for every single kernel to pop, you're going to wind up with one or two edible kernels and a charred wad of blackened popcorn so hot and pressurized there may very well be diamonds inside if you crack it open. Take it from us: follow the time limit on the package, and just accept that in order for your popcorn to taste good, you will have about a teaspoon's worth of unpopped kernels in the bag. It's okay. Shh, shhh. It's okay.

Robb LOVES tits. But then again, don't we all?

Geri Maria Harris sang the praises of bananas, chocolate chips, and walnuts, and Cathy Matusow announced our second reader judge for Sunday's upcoming Eating Our Words Cupcake Smackdown. Becky Means provided some simple advice on how to properly boil eggs, and we've discovered that no one agrees on how long you boil them. No one. We've seen more rednecks agree on which wrestler would most soundly kick Osama bin Laden's ass.

Around town, we got into some platos crudos at Yelapa's, some pho at Pho 99, and the Sunny fruit stand, where we're dying to try those strawberries. "Pink" is our favorite food color after "yellow" and "medium rare." Paul Knight checked out the happy hour at Nick's Place (or "Nick's Plae" if you're going by the sign), and Jason Kerr sampled the late night scene at Capone's.

Katharine counted down the ten most useless items in your kitchen, and of course everyone in the comments section enthusiastically agreed with her assessment and chuckled good-naturedly at themselves. Her Food Fight this week centered on the concept of the supper club, which is sort of a safari for the adventurous foodie.

Robb and Ruthie closed out the week with two of TWiD's favorite dishes: meat and cheese. We'll pretty much go anywhere we can get a decent selection of both, including Flying Saucer at its most bro-tastic (which is pretty damn bro-tastic). Finally, Robb looked into the Mardi Gras phenomenon that is the King Cake, which has TWiD already looking forward to our favorite Mardi Gras pastime: giving anyone who asks long-winded answers to the question "Why do they put a baby in the cake?" that we totally make up. This year we're going with a lengthy dissertation on what the Cajuns were forced to eat during Denmark's occupation of the Gulf of Mexico in 1821. What, y'all never read about the Danish Armada? Fearsome, and goes well with coffee.


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