The 10 Most Useless Kitchen Appliances
We talk a lot on this blog about eating. We talk a lot about cooking. We also talk a lot about booze, food porn and the "less polite" bodily functions (in case you're wondering, the "more polite" bodily functions include yawning and sneezing, but only if it's a cute sneeze). But what we don't talk about often is the actual mechanics behind cooking, baking and general food-making.
YOU DON'T NEED THIS.
And that's where this series of posts comes in. Over the next few weeks, we'll discuss pivotal issues here such as why you don't need a bread maker, how you burned out the motor on your stand mixer and what the difference is between a Microplane grater and a citrus zester (answer: pretty much zero).
We're starting off gently today by discussing which kitchen appliances you don't need to put on your wedding registry, get suckered into at Sur La Table, or buy from late-night infomercials. Your kitchen -- as long as it has an oven, stove and refrigerator -- can function quite well on its own without the addition of these cumbersome items. That fondue pot you received from a well-meaning aunt ten Christmases ago and has collected dust above your fridge ever since? That's an obvious answer, as are any appliances that are predominately suited to a singular, specialized task. If something is going to take up precious counterspace, it should be a multitasker.
Below are ten other kitchen appliances that you honestly do not need, ever, for pretty much any reason.
WHAT? We can hear the screeching now. WHO DOESN'T NEED A BLENDER? A lot of people don't need blenders. You're probably one of them. Unless you're making large batches of healthy smoothies for your family on a daily basis (and let's face it, you aren't) or churning out daiquiris by the pool (you aren't doing that either), you don't need a giant blender taking up counter or cabinet space. Join the rest of the modern world and get a far more efficient, far easier to clean and far less bulky immersion blender.
9. Bread Machine
Yes, we realize that Robb Walsh bakes fresh loaves of bread for his lucky household every morning. But most of us aren't food writers / living with food writers and therefore have no occasion to bake fresh loaves of bread on a daily or even monthly basis. Also, have you seen the size of those things? They're as big as a Smart Car. Instead, bake bread that doesn't require a dough hook or excessive kneading, such as beer bread, or give cookbooks such as Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day a try. Our friends swear by it. You don't need a Smart Car...er...bread machine to make your own bread at home.
The hell? Are you running a restaurant? Of course not. So you don't need a rotisserie anything in your house. Yes, the rotisserie chicken at Vincent's looks (and tastes) mouthwatering. Yes, that man from the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie infomercial -- while a poor actor -- makes a convincing pitch. Yes, we all miss Rotisserie for Beef & Bird (which is now, sadly, a funeral home). But none of these are reasons that you need a $350 oven with spindly rotating bits. Unless you're serving up rotisserie chicken every night, spend your money elsewhere.