Stirred and Shaken: Rebels Honky Tonk's Mother-Effer

Photo by Troy Fields

At Rebels Honky Tonk (5002 Washington, 713-862-7172), the classics are relegated to the bathroom. The record jackets mounted on the men's-room wall feature the likes of Willie Nelson and Marty Robbins, but on a recent Wednesday night a couple KILT-FM DJs were pumping nothing but the latest chart-topping, completely indistinguishable country-pop hits into Washington Avenue's newest club. The owners have emphasized the traditional dance-hall atmosphere, but thanks to the location, the crowd was fairly mixed. Half a dozen guys in cowboy hats were watching rodeo on TV, while a couple members of the strip's native species were doing their best Jersey Shore impressions near a video game that measures players' punching power. Couples two-stepped on the brand-new dance floor, groups mingled in booths, and my friend Craig and I took advantage of the Wednesday drink discounts.

We were downing a specialty called the Motherfucker (the bartender referred to it as a "man's Long Island Iced Tea") when Craig commented that Rebels is the kind of place a certain type of man goes to meet a new wife. I told him I'd rather meet one of his cigarettes on the porch. Outside, one diesel pickup was pulling another diesel pickup out of the storm ditch on Sandman Street. Helpful advice: If you decide to secede from sobriety at Rebels, try to park right-side up.

1/2 ounce Crown Royal whiskey

1/2 ounce Jack Daniel's whiskey

1/2 ounce Southern Comfort liqueur

1/2 ounce Deauville amaretto

splash sweet and sour

splash Coke

Pour over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a lemon wedge.