The Shameless Chef: Shit On a Shingle
|Bonus points if you can guess which ingredients go into the "shit", and which go into the "shingle".|
You will need:
- One can of corned beef hash, which is ground-up corned beef with diced potatoes.
- English muffins or bread for toast (both are considered traditional "shingles"). I chose English muffins of the sourdough variety, being the only kind of English muffins I can stand.
- some kind of fat, traditionally butter or clarified butter, sometimes vegetable oil or lard. I used butter.
- optional: Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, and cheese.
Mom told me that the particular shit on a shingle she (and therefore my brother and I) ate as a child was garnished with ketchup and cheese. However, upon doing a little bit of online research, I discovered that a more traditional variety is served with Worcestershire sauce and a creamy roux sauce, which -
Christ, calm down! I am so tired of you hyperventilating every time I mention a new sauce. Roux sauce is just flour and fat, okay? It really couldn't be less complicated, they just gave it a fancy-ass French name because that's what you do in cooking when you don't want people to know how simple something is. This is how Vienna sausages on crackers got to be called "hors d'oeuvres".
Anyway, unable to choose between the S.O.S. with a world history and the S.O.S. with a family history, I decided to prepare both (disregarding that authentic traditional shit on a shingle is served with chipped beef, not corned beef hash, because what am I, an actual fucking cook? I got other things to do).
For the roux sauce, I melted a 1/4 stick of butter in a sauce pot and slowly added 1/4 cup of flour, stirring all the while. To get the proper consistency, I then added about a cup of hot water, until the sauce took on a gravy-like consistency.
|There's your roux. True fact: the French government is now trying to get its citizens to cook without using fat or cream. Isn't that hilarious?|
I cut two English muffins in half and toasted them briefly in the toaster, before piling a couple tablespoons of corned beef hash onto them. One S.O.S. I covered in ketchup and cheese, the other I flavored with Worcestershire sauce and the roux sauce exclusively.
|Right: Kid-friendly. Left: The pinnacle of culinary sophistication.|
Either way, it sure as hell beats an M.R.E., which you can obtain at Col. Bubbie's Military Surplus in Galveston for independent comparison, if you wish. But take my word for it: they are godawful. The shit on a shingle-eaters back in the old days didn't know how good they had it.