Houston's 10 Worst Restaurant Names

Categories: Leftovers
At least we don't have these in Houston...yet.

​A list of Houston's ten worst restaurants would be, how shall we say, divisive and ugly to say the least. And, really, who needs that kind of karma following her around? But to say that a restaurant has a terrible name? Now that's just pointing out the obvious.

Our sister food blog in San Francisco recently ran a list of the weirdest restaurant names in the world (or at least the weirdest they'd run across). While none of our own restaurants have names nearly as awful as "Dirty Dicks," "Taste of Negros" or "Hitler's Cross," that doesn't mean they aren't funky in their own way. So in the spirit of camaraderie -- and the spirit of gently letting local restauranteurs know that they may want to consider a new DBA -- we present the worst restaurant names in Houston.

10) Forno's: "What on earth is wrong with Forno's?" you may ask. We'll tell you. In our filthy, filthy minds, it comes across as nothing so much as a cross between "porno" and "fornication." And because we aren't the only people to have filthy minds -- just some of the only ones who openly admit it -- we're willing to bet we're not the first ones to have thought that.

Photo by Longiee

9) Kata Robata: Domo arigato, Kata Robata. Don't act like you haven't sung that to yourself in your head. We don't care what (if anything) "Kata Robata" means in Japanese, the name of Houston's newest -- and possibly best -- sushi joint inspires not so much the appetite, but the insurmountable urge to sing cheesy Styx songs.

8) Cafe Beirut: Even our Lebanese friends agree that this name is terrible, and for one primary reason. No one wants to think of being surrounded by the rubble of bombed-out buildings and the anguished cries of a devastated city. Yes, Beirut has made great strides. But it's still a bit of a hovel, and Americans still associate the name of the capital with a certain Dresden-like horror -- not fine dining.

7) Todai: What is it with sushi joints and awful names? We love Todai. We especially love the completely non-sensical sight of waiters walking around with meats on sticks, pradaria-style, while you blissfully devour the plate of sashimi and dumplings you heaped on your plate from the all-you-can-eat buffet. But we don't love the fact that the restaurant's name sounds exactly like the infinitive form of dying. Us: "Want Todai today?" Friend: "Um...no thanks, dude." *runs away frightened*

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ya... these restaurant names really sound awful and aren't able to attract visitors!

Styx A.D. 1928
Styx A.D. 1928

Elliot Hyams buckles up for the latest offering from the man who makes bad acting look easy, Nic Cage. Last year a viral video named Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit appeared on YouTube highlighting the strange 


I have always pronounced "Todai" as "TOW die" not "two die"

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