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Here’s the deal. I’m sick. One of those nasty cold things that just floors you. But yesterday I dragged myself from my bed to the couch. And I turned on the TV. I figured I’d check out the Super Bowl hysteria on the cable. Here’s what I found...

11:00: Flip to the NFL Network. It’s Total Access from the Giants hotel. What, are they going to the rooms and showing us which working girl slipped into which player’s room? No, just Alex Flanagan and Jim Mora standing in a big banquet room waiting for the Giants to come down for media opportunities. If there’s not some chick from TV Azteca wearing a bridal dress asking Eli Manning to marry her, I’m flipping the channel…. And I don’t see any chick from TV Azteca, so…

11:02: Hey, it’s the late night SportsCenter on its one millionth replay. Some actual analysis. Peter Gammons is discussing the Johan Santana trade. I’m somehow thinking the Twins got burned on this deal, especially considering that the Yankees had, at one point, offered Phil Hughes and the Red Sox had offered up Jon Lester and Coco Crisp.

Now this is funny. Stuart Scott is bitching about the so-called reporters at Media Day (like Ms. Azteca). Since when did Mr. Catchphrase become a real reporter? Where’s my remote?

11:10: I’ve settled on ESPN2’s First Take. That shows how desperate I am. Wow, did I just hear that? Someone’s criticizing Tom Brady and wanting to know why he never gets pressed on things like his bastard son. Ah, Skip Bayless to the rescue. Says it’s not like Brady is Travis Henry so give him a break. He also says that since Giselle Bundchen isn’t a media whore like Eva Longoria or Jessica Simpson we should leave him alone.

Some of you doubtless remember my “glowing review” of KGOW and its programming last week. Some of you may also remember that I got a comment from Chance McClain, who works for KGOW and invited me down to the station for a tour. He also promised me the best spaghetti sauce in the world.

Well, I’m not one who can turn down the offer of the world’s best spaghetti sauce, so this week I took a trip out to KGOW’s Galleria-area studio.

And the bastard lied to me: there was no spaghetti sauce.

But aside from that, it was a good meeting. And perhaps it’s time for me to eat a little crow (and since the Chron’s Ken Hoffman is one of the station’s talk hosts and has probably eaten at every food establishment on the planet, perhaps he can give me the location of a good crow restaurant).

Holy shit. If this news story is to be believed, which means that Brian McNamee’s attorney is to be believed, then when Andy Pettitte appears before Congress, he’s going to have something really interesting to say.

Like that he and Roger Clemens discussed using HGH. Like that the discussion was at Clemens’s house. That following this discussion Pettitte then discussed HGH with McNamee, who advised Pettitte not to use HGH. Like that Pettitte and McNamee talked about Clemens’s HGH use.

Missed free throws in the final two minutes.

Killer turnovers down the stretch.

We’d seen this play so many times before. In fact, it seemed to have claimed permanent residence status at the Toyota Center over the past six weeks.

But for one night at least, the Rockets flipped the script on us. This time, they were the ones in control and executing during winning time, leaving Golden State to agonize over its own myriad of missed opportunities.

The horror. The horror.

Gentlemen, I hope that you are seated. I hope that you have braced yourselves, because I have some bad news. Some bad news indeed. You see, we’re not going to have any choice with the Super Bowl this year, we’re going to have to watch Tom Petty and the Fox halftime show. Don’t do me like that. Don’t do me like that. Please don’t leave me with no other halftime options.

Not after yesterday. Not after the Lingerie Bowl was cancelled.

That’s right, no hot women in tight shorts, sports bras, shoulder pads, and hockey helmets playing football. No nearly naked women trying to tackle other nearly naked women or getting into catfights.

Instead, we’re just going to have to watch Tom Petty. And I’ve got nothing against Tom Petty, but Tom, you ain’t no nearly naked hot woman. So just stop draggin’ my heart around.

But, courtesy of YouTube, here’s a little bit of what we’ll be missing this halftime. Enjoy.

The one thing that finally turned the public against John McMullen was when he let local icon Nolan Ryan escape up to Arlington and the Texas Rangers in 1988. Dr. McMullen would never recover his standing in the community, a standing which had already been virtually destroyed after the firing of Tal Smith way back in 1980.

Several years ago, Drayton McLane signed Nolan Ryan to a personal services contract and Ryan has spent some time working with Astros farm hands. Ryan has also purchased, and now runs with his kids, two Astros farm teams, the Round Rock Express and the Corpus Christi Hooks.

It was reported this weekend that Ryan is now involved in discussions with the Texas Rangers to become that team’s President of Business Operations. McLane has given the okay for this because it’s not a baseball job.

I was a week away from starting my third year of law school when I boarded a Delta flight for Washington, D.C., by way of Atlanta. I was on my way to interview for a job with the Justice Department – a job which I didn’t get.

I remember sitting in my window seat and reading the morning’s Chron, specifically, the sports page. I remember that it was August of 1992, that the Astros had lost the night before, and that Warren Moon and the Oilers were arguing over his contract.

A lady sat down in the aisle seat next me and asked if I was a football fan. I responded with my default answer: I love baseball and generally don’t start paying attention to football until after the World Series. She smiled, said she understood, and asked if I was an Oilers fan when I did follow football. I said yes.

There was more Roger Clemens news yesterday. Rocket’s agent Randy Hendricks released an 18,000 word report seeking to rebut the allegations of steroids use. But I’ve got to be honest with you, I just can’t do it. I just can’t sit down and read the damn thing.

I just can’t. I’m just too burned out.

Besides, I’m waiting for February 13 when Clemens appears before Congress.

Hey Astros fan. Are you pissed off about Drayton jacking up ticket prices for the Red Sox and Yankees games this summer? Well, you can just go to hell, you bunch of frigging, ungrateful ingrates. Don’t you realize what a bargain Drayton’s giving you? Don’t you know how cheap it really is to attend an Astros game?

What, you don’t know this? Well, I guess it’s a good thing the Chron’s around to relay the propaganda.

As the Chron so happily reported yesterday, the Astros are quite a bargain when compared with the rest of major league baseball. You didn’t know that, did you? Hell, the Astros supposedly offer the best bargain in the entire city. And if you don’t believe that, it’s because you’re just an ungrateful fan who doesn’t believe in the benevolence of Drayton McLane. (Or you don’t buy the bull the Chron dishes out.)

There’s no need to spend much time breaking down the Rockets’ latest loss to Utah. Yes, the déjà vu storyline is tempting to be sure, but it’s ultimately misguided. Let’s face it: From the moment word spread that Yao Ming would be unavailable for duty due to an upper respiratory infection, it was clear Houston’s hopes for victory rested somewhere between slim and none.

So let’s focus instead on the difference between the club we saw last night and the one that walked off the Toyota Center floor with its head hanging low last May. Sure, a few faces and names have changed, but is this group any closer to achieving its ultimate goal of securing the franchise’s third NBA title? More to the point: Since it’s a safe assumption that ’08 won’t be bringing O’Brien Trophy No. 3 to Houston, is there any reason to be hopeful about the future?

“You just get in ruts,” center Steve Kelly said Friday night. But then he looked up and added, “I think we will be fine. We just got to get back to basic hockey.”

Unfortunately for Kelly and his teammates, there’s no Ctrl-Alt-Delete in hockey. But after Friday night’s 3-1 loss to the San Antonio Rampage in the Toyota Center before 4,693 fans, the Aeros probably wish they could reboot, especially with this being their third loss in the row, and especially after the loss dropped the team down into seventh place in the ultra-competitive West Division.

And the Aeros can’t afford to be falling into ruts right now. Not in the midst of a month-long home stand, and not in the midst of a tough playoff battle. But fall into a rut they have, and while the team might not be happy about it, they’re stuck, and getting out isn’t going to be simple. And it’s really bugging Kelly.

In keeping with the Aggie-bashing fun, I bring you the return of college football police blotter...

The story begins on November 29, 2007, when two men staged a home invasion at the Callaway Vista Apartments in Bryan-College Station. One of the men was armed, and the victim suffered minor injuries.

This incident leads to the events of yesterday, in which Aggie football players Yemi Babalola and Brandon Joiner were arrested and indicted on two counts each of aggravated robbery.

The San Antonio Rampage will be in Houston for two games with the Aeros this weekend, tonight and Saturday. The Aeros are in the Western Conference playoff mix, and one of the teams they’re battling is the Rampage. But for the Aeros to stay competitive, they are going to have to prevent a repeat of last week’s lost weekend .

They’re going to have to execute their offense. They need to make passes. They can’t keep depending on Nolan Schaefer and Barry Brust to bail them out on the defensive end. But first and foremost, they’re going to have to do something about the power play.

While sitting in the Toyota Center rafters for the Foo Fighter’s show Tuesday night, I was reminded of the two things I hate about Toyota Center. The sound sucks. And the seats are designed for little people.

Can’t we just do a deal with those idiots at Lakewood and swap them Toyota Center for the Summit? I grew up with the Summit. I sat in every area of that arena where it was possible to sit. And never, never, ever, did I sit in a bad seat. Never did I sit in a seat that had blind spots. Never did I have to sit in a seat where my chin was resting on knee because I didn’t have anywhere else to put my chin.

Too bad Zach Corcoran wasn’t a football field.

The Aggies and their Corps of Cadets operate on tradition. Sure, there's the stuff with that dang dog, but don't you dare step foot on their football field. Because that football field is sacred. And if you step foot on the turf, the Corps will attack.

For instance, cadets will punch people in the face if they step on the field, as happened in 2002 after Nebraska beat A&M in College Station. (However, it is interesting that cadets who punch out fans at football games are at least charged and fined.) There was also the incident in 1995, after UT defeated the Aggies at Kyle Field. And don't forget about the brave cadet who drew a sword on a SMU cheerleader in order to defend the turf.