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My first reaction to hearing about a 2007 Pet Calendar with Houston Astros players Craig Biggio, Brad Lidge and Brad Ausmus on its cover -- in and out of uniform — was an interested "all right." Alas, it's not what you might think. Only the dogs are nude. On the cover, in addition to action game shots, Craig and the two Brads pose with really big dogs. Manly men with big dogs. No poodles allowed? Then it turns out that while the dog posing with Lidge actually goes home with him at night, the other two are loaners. The borrowed dogs came from the city's dog pound, more formally known as the Bureau of Animal Regulation and Control (BARC). The Astros and longtime animal rights leader Sean Hawkins' new group Saving Animals Across Borders are working together to find homes for all these animals. Calendar proceeds will benefit BARC's pet adoption center. Oh and a poodle did make the cut. Gracie is Ms. September, posing with Astros outfielder Jason Lane, her owner. And a cat even got in there for June (National Adopt-a-Shelter Cat month) courtesy of pitcher Chad Qualls who brought Blu out to the ballpark. To order a calendar, go to www.savinganimals.org. You get the Astros schedule for the season starting in April, little known tips (Did you know there's a take your dog to work day? Relax, it's on a Saturday.), and leafing through it, you might find a dog or an Astro who catches your fancy. — Margaret Downing

What should the Astros do when right fielder Jason Lane finishes the 2006 season with a measly batting average of .201? Recent logic of General Manager Tim Purpurpa says give em' a raise. A large raise. Lane inked a new one-year contract today worth $1.05 million, more than double his 2006 salary of $450,000. We guess already having two great right fielders already under contract, Luke Scott and Richard Hidalgo, just wasn't enough for Purpurpa. That or maybe he's just trying to spend his woes away since losing Petite.

Possibly the only National League shortstop in need of a designated hitter, Adam Everett also resigned with the Astros today. A reported $2.8 million one-year deal with the club. Defensively, the man can do no wrong with a glove in his hand. In 2006, the 29-year-old had only seven errors, second best for a shortstop in the 2006 season. But nothing strikes fear in an Astros fan's heart like watching him take the batter's box. Maybe he should take a lesson from Craig Biggio. —Brett Koshkin

A lot of Astro fans howled in dismay when the Houston Astros fired radio guy Alan Ashby after the 2005 season. Ashby, who had the dubious honor of working with the Astros' past-a-prime-that-was-never-too-prime-anyway Milo Hamilton, was canned in a shuffle triggered by Hamilton's decision to no longer travel. Ashby was.....not bad, for our taste, although he never knocked our socks off either. We will grant that his talents may not have had their full chance to shine while working with the corn-pone incoherency of Milo. At any rate, Ashby has finally landed another full-time gig. He'll be doing radio analysis and some play-by-play for the Toronto Blue Jays. (He was the catcher for the team's inaugural season, in 1977.) We wish Ash the best of luck, and hope there are no Milos north of the border. — Richard Connelly

For fans of Texas high school football, last year's state championship game is old news by now. But fans of vomiting received a special treat when this video popped up on YouTube last week.

We can't top this summary from Tom Kirkendall, so we won't even bother trying: "This season, there really is no question about the play of the year, but it's not for the faint of stomach. During a key part of the 4th quarter in the state 5A D-1 championship game between Southlake Carroll and Austin Westlake, Southlake Carroll QB Riley Dodge barks out the signals, vomits immediately before taking the snap, proceeds to throw a perfect TD pass to put Southlake ahead for good in the game, and then is helped off the field by a couple of his teammates as he vomits again on his way to the sideline." — Keith Plocek

The Houston Astros announced Wednesday that they'd re-signed "closer" Brad Lidge, who actually didn't do much in the way of closing last year.

Six horrendously ugly blown saves, a 5.28 ERA — what kind of pay cut does that get you these days? None: It gets you a $1.4 million raise.

We like Lidge — he seems like a stand-up guy; he went to Notre Dame, after all — but he had a seriously bad season in 2006. Astro fans cringed in fear and despair when he walked in from the bullpen.

Giving him a $1.4 million raise is like giving former CIA head George "Slam Dunk" Tenet a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Who'd be dumb enough to do that?

Maybe Jeff Bagwell should have stuck around instead of retiring. Even with only one working arm, he definitely would have qualified for a bump from his $17 million-per-year contract. -- Richard Connelly

New Rice football coach Todd Graham led the team to its first bowl game in 45 years, for which he was granted a contract extension three days ago. To show his appreciation, Graham then took the head-coaching job at Tulsa.

Ouch. Rice finally gets a coach who can win — after years of putting up with Ken Hatfield and his outdated, inept wishbone — and he skips town at the first opportunity.

Graham was a Rice darling up until the announcement (even though the Owls did get stomped in their bowl game), but, if this message-board thread is any indication, the love affair is over.

And, if some newly spurned fans are to be believed, it never really existed anyway.

Rice now begins yet another search for a head coach, one who will no doubt be greeted with open arms and a warm embrace. Until he leaves. -- Richard Connelly

You've just caught a 58-yard bomb that helped bury the storied Notre Dame football team in the Sugar Bowl — where you gonna go? Disneyland?

Not if you're wide receiver Brandon LaFell, the LSU redshirt freshman who nabbed the JaMarcus Russell pass on national TV. LaFell spent part of Friday visiting his alma mater, Lamar High School, and chatting with the football team.

Sporting the new Mohawk he debuted at the Sugar Bowl, LaFell told the players to keep at it. One player, obviously an Irish fan, asked why they had to beat up on ND so bad.

"We just did what we had to do," LaFell said, with all the humbleness a Mohawked man can muster.

LSU coaches are high on LaFell's future with the Tigers. A little luck, and he could be joining Russell in the NFL in a couple of years. -- Richard Connelly

According to MLB.com, Boston Red Sox second baseman Mark Loretta will soon close a deal to come play for the Astros. Apparently there are still a couple kinks to be worked out as far as contractual issues go, but his agent, Bob Garber, has claimed on the site he'll sign a reported one year deal worth $2.5 million.

Houston loyalists, don't fret; Loretta, who played part of the 2002 season with the Astros, won't be knocking Craig Biggio off second base. Loretta will likely be used as a utility player in Houston; he's logged plenty of experience at first, second, third and shortstop over his 12 years in the MLB. His career batting average of .299 will fit snuggly into the Astros' batting lineup. After all, Houston tied for worst team batting average of the 2006 season with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, so we'll take any bat we can get. — Brett Koshkin

Texans fans have grown plenty accustomed to images of the team's hapless QB lying flat on his back. But today's Chronicle offers another, more personable side of David Carr: positioned doggie-style, in mid-thrust, atop his place-kicker. Is it a rare post-victory embrace? Or a glimpse into how they'll spend the off-season? -Todd Spivak