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Courtesy of Doomsday Wrestling

110% Phenomenal brings it all today and tomorrow.

"Christmas? Go ahead and cancel it because this is going to dwarf it in comparison!" says Doomsday Wrestling promoter Tex Lonestar. Today, the Meridian will host seven comedic smack-downs. The undefeated 110% Phenomenal will face the tag team The Stormin' Mormons, and The Plague will battle Queen Kong in a female face-off.

David A. Brown

What could be worse than Dirty Sanchez? His Nightmare.

Also on the roster are Doomsday favorites Boom Shakalaka and Rumble. The twosome known as The Latino Connection, managed by the sinister Dirty Sanchez, will also return, and Sanchez has warned us that a new wrestler will debut today. "I discovered him at a circus freak show," Sanchez says. "He was wrestling wolves; he was eating bears! I call him Jour Worst Nightmare."

But Lonestar says Sanchez will not be allowed to bring new competitors into the ring without his permission. "I've not even heard anything from this 'Your Worst Nightmare' character," says Lonestar.

"Oh, you will hear from him," Sanchez threatens. "And you will want to cover your ears because of the sounds of the screaming." --Dusti Rhodes

Get ready to rumble at 9 p.m. today and tomorrow. The Meridian, 1503 Chartres. For tickets and information, call 713-629-3700 or visit Doomsday Wrestling's site. $10 advance; $15 at door.

Imageshack.com

Addai looks to be healthy enough to embarass some Texans Sunday.

Well, lucky us.

Turns out that Joseph Addai, the Indianapolis Colts' rookie running back stud and Sharpstown High alum, will be healthy enough to play on Sunday against the Texans. That's great news for Addai, who'll get to run rampant in his hometown. Not to great for the Texans, or Texans fans who're a little tried of getting punk'd by hometown heroes.

Addai rolled his right ankle this past Sunday, and since then, his injury has been an enigma wrapped in a sports brace. We called the Colts media relations Tuesday; a grouchy rep said she had "no new information." Colts coach Tony Dungy called it a "basketball sprain," and not the dreaded high ankle sprain that can sideline RBs for weeks.

Then, earlier today, SportsCenter announced that they had misspoke when they said Addai might not be ready for the Texans, saying they "misunderstood" Dungy's comments. Yeah, an on-air retraction for a sprained ankle report. Gotta be a pretty dang important ankle, huh?

Actually, yeah. Addai leads all NFL rookies with 917 yards rushing, and he's trying to become the fourth Colts newbie in 12 years to top 1,000 yards. The LSU alum has been the picture-perfect back for Indy's video-game-style offensive attack: He runs, catches and blocks like he's been doing this for years in the pros.

So congrats, J-dai. Here's hoping you keep that wheel of yours iced and have a great game this Sunday at Reliant. And don't feel bad about bitch slapping your hometown. Seriously, we're totally used to it. -- Steven Devadanam

NBA.com

Shaq better watch it from now on -- Mr. Ming's on a roll.

There promises to be some crazy Houston Rockets action on Friday, courtesy of Yao Ming and T-Mac.

The dynamic duo will be guests on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where they'll share time with Matthew McConaughey, and — get this — Hall & Freaking Oates! That's what you call "must-see TV."

So, to get you in the mood, here's a little footage of our sweet, lovable giant Yao Ming talking some smack against the Los Angeles Clippers. Read his lips (this clip offers a slow-mo shot) and you'll find a delightful, f-bombed-laced "You can't stop me!" after a "cold-blooded shot."

Great to see that the Great Wall can bring, ain't it? — Steven Devadanam

NFL.com

AJ got some love from NFL voters...

That's what's commonly known as a "freaking no-brainer."

Johnson is the most coveted player on the roster, a beast of a dude with 4.3 speed, meat hooks for hands and the kind of frame you usually find on an outside linebacker, or maybe Venus Williams, but not a wide receiver. It also doesn't hurt that AJ leads the NFL in catches (97 receptions for 1,087 yards going into this week), despite being double-teamed and dogged by opposing defenses. (Incidentally, it'll be a Johnson & Johnson lineup for the AFC's staring offense in the Pro Bowl: Our Andre will start alongside Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson.)

The Johnson selection was about as tough as naming Scarlett Johansson the hottest actress alive. But where the Pro Bowl voters could've really flexed their knowledge was with the choice of starting middle linebacker. Texans rookie linebacker DeMeco Ryans got a mere third string taste for the Pro Bowl, behind starter Al Wilson of Denver and Zach Thomas in Miami. While Wilson's arguably the best in the biz, Ryans has been nothing short of sensational this season, and years from now, we may remember this draft as "the one where we got Ryans," and not a certain Mario Williams fellow.

...DeMeco, not as much.

Ryans was projected to be a top-15 candidate early on in the NFL draft, and tumbled to the second round (where the Texans smartly nabbed him) for no good reason. He's surpassed Dunta Robinson as the best player on a reshaped defense. He stuffs runners behind the line of scrimmage, straight up dogs quarterbacks (he essentially handed Mario Williams his first-ever sack) and deflects passes that look to be a sure thing. He's playing out of his natural position (he was originally an outside 'backer), manning the middle of the Texans' D with all the savvy of a seasoned pro — and dude's a freaking rookie.

We'll keep the faith if Ryans is named Defensive Rookie of the Year. If he's not, we can count it as just another instance of the Texans getting bitch slapped. — Steven Devadanam

Steven Devadanam for HouStoned Images Ltd., Ulmtd.

If you do win the Dynamo auction, take good care of the Cup, as Brian Ching does here.

Could this kid be the next Freddie Adu? No telling, but you gotta like that Walberto Vazquez has a soccer nickname: "Pana."

Today, your Houston Dynamo will meet with Vazquez, the team's first selection in the Houston Dynamo Player Development System. Vazquez is a ballin' 17-year-old who's currently a senior at Cy Falls High School, where he plays as a midfielder/forward. The local teen plays club soccer for the Houstonians, and has been a part of an Olympic Development Program for the last five years. Pana will join the Dynamo Player Development System's U-18 (under 18 years old) team. The Dynamo's DPDS provides young soccer studs a "direct path" to the pros.

So can Pana (again, love the name) be the next teen wunderkind? "I think he has the right attitude and the desire to make it big," says Dynamo Director of Youth Development James Clarkson. "He also has technical ability, which allows him to play well." Pana will meet with team reps, including team prez Oliver Luck and head coach Dominic Kinnear today at 4 p.m. Wonder if they'll have a # 17 jersey for him?

Oh, and in other Dynamo news: There's still time to bid on the MLS Cup and have it for a few days. The team is auctioning off time with the cup on the Dynamo site. The highest bidder will receive the Cup on Christmas Eve, and gets to keep it until December 26. The current bid is

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The Owls could come home with a bowl win for Christmas.

Great, now I have less smack fodder for my Rice alum friends...

The Rice Owls departed this morning for New Orleans, where they'll take on Troy, er, sorry, Troy for the R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl on Friday. It's still a bit of a head scratcher — Rice U. is enjoying just its fourth winning season since 1993, and its first bowl berth in 45 years.

You can't say enough about rookie coach Todd Graham, who unlike a certain sanctified former A&M coach -- *cough Gary Kubiak cough* -- has managed to turn his team around overnight. And Todd Graham ain't working with million-dollar-per-year athletes, either. He's dealing with kids who'd be walk-ons at most Big 12 programs. Local sports fans know Graham's story well. Dude walked into his office at the first of the year, and changed the team's helmets, unis and of course, the game plans. Rice Stadium now has a new field and scoreboard thanks to Todd.

Due respect to Graham, it's still kinda hard to think about the Rice football program without thinking of Ken Hatfield, a class act of a head coach. The Chron's M.K. Bower has a good story about Hatfield, who's still rootin' fer Rice from his ranch in Arkansas. Hatfield's no slouch, and many a graduated player credits him for molding them into a fully functioning adult, which is more than can be said for your average grad of Tha U.

So safe travels and good luck, Owls. The smart money has you guys winning in New Orleans, as surreal as that may sound. — Steven Devadanam

The NBA's ruling on Saturday's Knicks/Nuggets brawl got us thinking about our favorite brawling coach, Houston Rockets head coach Jeff Van Gundy. Mind you, it's VG's attempts to stop brawls, not start 'em, that makes the clips of him eating parquet so classic. Had Jeff been courtside Saturday night, he coulda curtailed Nate Robinson's tantrum before it started. (Doesn't hurt that Jeff's like a giant compared to Nate, either.) And JVG totally woulda stopped Carmelo Anthony from pulling off the lamest cheap shot this year.

So here are some great classic NBA fisticuffs (if you like that sort of thing), with multiple-angle footage of a very stout but very determined JeffVG trying to thwart a swingin', six-foot-eleven Marcus Camby. Thanks for the memories, Jeff. -- Steven Devadanam

We haven't checked with the Mayor's office, so we'll just assume they issued a proclamation formally declaring yesterday and today Official Vince Young Wailing Days.

One last bit of wallowing in the bitter muck of wasted draft picks: After Young went on his 39-yard classic game-winning romp, you might have idly asked yourself where Mario Williams — the man the Texans picked ahead of Young and Reggie Bush — was on that last play.

The answer: On the bench.

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NBA.com

T-Mac probably shouldn't be putting this kind of strain on his back...

We've enjoyed watching the Houston Rockets/Bonzi Wells drama unfold. (If you haven't yet seen it, you gotta check out Richard Connelly's spoof of Wells's Almost MySpace page. A can't miss: his choice of streaming tune.)

For a while, it seemed like the benched Bonz would be perfect trade fodder — maybe for Allen Iverson? And there were slow and steady leaks that Bonzi wasn't out because he wasn't in "basketball shape," but rather because coach Jeff Van Gundy was pissed at him. Yesterday, however, VG and Wells looked like they were making nice. Seems Wells called coach and said that he "would like to play some basketball." Van Gundy said he'd mull it over.

Then, Tracy McGrady's nagging back acts up, and lo and behold, Bonzi and Jeff are really talking. Bonzi's first position (he can play multiple) is shooting guard, making him the perfect replacement for a superstar with an achin' back. Anyone else think it's coincidence that the L.A. Lakers — and phenom Kobe Bryant — are coming to town today against a T-Mac-less Rockets team, and suddenly, Bonzi's being welcomed back to the lineup?

So kudos, Jeff, you've made your point. If Bonzi won't get with the program, he won't play. That is, until we need him to fill in for T-Mac. — Steven Devadanam

AP Photo/David J. Phillip

God.

For those few Houstonians who aren't blind adherents to the Vince-Young-is-God school of thought, Sunday's game against the Texans admirably summed up the phenomenon.

Young had a pretty average day, but — as you just might have heard — won the game with a 39-yard overtime TD romp. And that's all anyone will remember, and they'll remember it by repeating the mantra that "Vince just always finds a way to win."

Sports-talk radio has predictably, but entertainingly, blown up here in town...

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Andy, we hardly knew ye...

Multiple media sources have Astros pitcher Andy Pettitte signing a one-year, $16 million deal with the New York Yankees.

Pettitte came to the Astros three years ago amidst much hoopla about how he just wanted to play in the ol' home town. A Q&A with the Houston Chronicle when he signed included this. -- Richard Connelly

Q: Besides being close to your family, what's the best thing about playing for the Astros? A: The most important thing that I looked at as far as coming here and playing with the Astros is I thought they had a good team. That was the most important thing to me. Another very important thing to me on a personal side was that I'm going to be able to go to my own church here and my kids will be in school year round. Those are things that are very important to me.

So either a) the Astros are no longer a "good team," or b) Pettitte's church has started sucking. Maybe they let in one of them thar gay people, or something.

What this means for next year's Astro location is tough to tell. We still have the Roger Clemens soap opera to endure, now with the added Sleepless in Seattle angle of whether Roger will follow his heart across country to be with Andy. (Isn't that the plot of Sleepless in Seattle? As the owner of a penis, I've never seen it.)

There's still some hyped Japanese pitcher out there, and maybe the Jon Garland trade can be revived. But for right now the Astros pitching rotation consists of Roy Oswalt and a whole lot of crossed fingers. -- Rich Connelly

MLB.com

If Buchholz's shoulder killed the Garland deal, well, then...um...his shoulder's got some serious 'splainin' to do.

Oh, so it's all Taylor Buchholz's fault.

Now there are reports (well, the Chron's Jose De Jesus Ortiz has cited SI.com, anyway) that the Jon Garland to the Astros trade has fallen through, thanks to Astros pitcher Taylor Buchholz's bum shoulder. Seems Taylor failed his physical, and as every sports fan knows, no phyzzie, no deal.

Buchholz says his wing is fine, thank you very much. "The only thing that gave me problems was my middle finger," he told the Chron. "It was bothering me for about two months, from right around the All-Star break. But I was fine at the end of the season. I haven't had a physical."

We're waiting to hear back from Astros media relations to see if GM Tim Purpura will make any kind of statement this evening. Until then, this deal looks done, and not in a good way.

A shame too, as Garland, with his $10 million price tag, is looking better and better. He's like that late-model Honda on eBay with low miles that you find just as the auction ends. And man, does this team need more Hondas. — Steven Devadanam

NASA.gov

Joan already looks good in orange, so the Dynamo scarf should be a plus.

You can't say the Houston Dynamo folks aren't geniuses when it comes to marketing...

The MLS Cup game is long gone, but the team manages to stay in the news. There's word that astronaut Joan Higginbotham will take on orange Dynamo scarf aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery mission that blasts off later today from Kennedy Space Center in Florida. We're not quite sure what the connection is, and frankly, neither are the Dynamo PR folks, but they're not complaining. "She's actually from Chicago, so I guess she's just a Dynamo fan," says PR rep Lester Gretsch. "We wanted to give her more items, like a medallion or pin, but NASA didn't want anything with pointy edges, so they just allowed a scarf." (C'mon NASA, how much harm could a little soccer pin cause?)

The Discovery mission to the International Space Station runs through Tuesday, December 19. Wonder if we'll be able to spot Higginbotham floating around with her orange scarf on NASA TV? — Steven Devadanam

MLB.com

Garland is a giant on the mound and has a mean curve. Bring 'im on!

Astros fans who jumped for joy this morning when they heard the team might be getting long n' lean slinger Jon Garland (he's 6'6/215) from the Chicago White Sox in exchange for pitcher Taylor Buchholz and speed demon center fielder Willy Taveras might be soured by this report: The Sox, according to the Chicago Tribune, are denying the trade.

So did Chron reporter Jose De Jesus Ortiz, who broke the story on the daily's site, jump the gun? Or does he have a major scoop? Ken Williams, the Sox's general manager, said this of the deal:

"We have nothing going on."

Of course, this could be front-office posturing, as they respond to a leak before the paperwork is done. Or, it could be nothing. But the deal would be a coup.

Astros fans, or anyone who may have watched that thing called the "World Series," will remember that Garland gave the 'Stros the fits. The 2005 season was a breakout for him, and in the World Series, Garland's curveball devastated our batters.

As much as it would stink to see Willy Taveras go, dude's a speedster, not a scorer, and Garland is an 18-game winner. He'd give the team the stud behind Roy Oswalt, a luxury given all the Andy Pettite talk. (We could essentially let the Deer Park native walk.) So will the Astros respond? Will Ortiz cry foul on his blog? We can't wait to see how this one plays out. — Steven Devadanam

For a cynical, self-hating UH alum, yesterday was a pretty special day. The City of Houston held a pep rally for the Coogs, who've won the Conference USA title and are now headed to the Liberty Bowl. (Many fans at the rally at City Hall held up signs that said "Give us Liberty!" Clever.)

The event (apparently the brainchild of City Councilmember/mayor pro tem/UH alum Michael Berry), went as smoothly as the recent Dynamo rally (though it was less insane), as head coach Art Briles praised UH fans, and Mayor Bill White praised the Coogs and scored himself an official team jersey. (Dude could start a sporting goods store with his Houston sports jersey collection.)

Overall, a triumphant day for Coogs fans. Whether or not they win Liberty, they're C-USA champs. And that, as a UH alum, is pretty damn cool (and pretty damn surreal). — Steven Devadanam

All photos by Steven Devadanam for HouStoned Images Ltd., Ulmtd.

... and worked the red n' white crowd into a frenzy.

Junior WR Anthony Alridge yelled out "Liberty Bowl, baby!" and "U of H, baby!"...

Coogs mascot Shasta pumped up the UH faithful with some pretty impressive dance moves.

City Councilmember Berry introduced QB Kevin Kolb, calling him the "pride of Stephenville" and a "first day pick" in the NFL draft.

Freshly shorn senior RB Jackie Battle (left) told the crowd he cut his hair after a bet with his girlfriend. He then challenged senior OLB (and Jeff Spicoli lookalike) Wade Koehl to lose his locks if the Coogs win the Liberty Bowl.

Mayor Bill White, who proclaimed yesterday "UH Championship Day," hung out with UH prez Jay Gogue and head coach Art Briles.

Fan (especially female fan) favorite Koehl showed off the C-USA trophy, which is only slightly smaller than the nearest downtown building.