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There are 120 teams in the NCAA's Division 1-A, but only two of them get to play for the Conference USA championship. We're sure Ohio State and USC, on the outside looking in, can barely contain their jealousy.

Instead of those losers, it's the mighty, mighty Coogs of UH taking on Southern Miss at Robertson Stadium Friday night. It's been a long time since there was a post-season football game of any importance in town that didn't involve high schools, so it's worth checking out.

Our advice, though, is to pick up your will-call tickets early if you're ordering by phone (713-GO-COOGS) or online, although don't bother if you're using Mozilla Firefox. Update: Apparently Firefox works sometimes (See our Comments section).

We went by UH's surprisingly luxurious Athletics & Alumni Center Tuesday afternoon to pick up our tickets and found about 30 people waiting in a line that wasn't moving too quickly, despite the best efforts of the hard-working staff. Will-calls at Robertson Stadium have always been dicey, and we're guessing Friday night will be no different. Between the will-call line and the legendarily long (but worth it) waits for fried chicken at the nearby Frenchy's, it could be a frustrating night.

One bonus of Tuesday's long ticket queue: Some short, middle-aged white guy was giving shooting lessons to a tall black kid on the basketball court adjacent to the ticket office. He worked his way around the three-point perimeter, knocking down shots with ease. Then he went to midcourt, turned his back to the basket and launched a series of one-handed, over-the-head shots. Two of three went in, and the other missed by inches.

Coogs, you have your halftime entertainment option for Friday sitting right in front of you. -- Richard Connelly

Given that Texas A&M has upset UT 12-7 on national TV, I had to call Press music editor/college pigskin pundit/bleedin'-orange-UT-fan John Nova Lomax and offer my condolences.

"Stick it up A&M's ass," he growled, spitting about the bogus interference call on Texas receiver Limas Sweed that killed a touchdown. Then, realizing he was on the record: "Once every 10 years the earth slips off its axis, and the Aggies take one."

In the end, Lomax was almost gracious. Almost. "How many times have the Aggies won in Austin? What is this, the ninth time in 80 years? Congrats, great win — couldn't have done it without the refs." — Steven Devadanam

Good news from your Houston Astros. The team has called a 4 p.m. press conference to announce the signing of hotly pursued free agent outfielder Carlos Lee. The deal is reported to be for six years, $100 million.

Actually, $100 million is a sort of hometown discount. See, Lee lives on some of Drayton McLane's ranch property down in Temple. So the two were already familiar with each other. When he became a free agent, Lee, who played last season for the Milwaukee Brewers before being traded to the Texas Rangers at the deadline, didn't exactly make it a big secret that he wanted to stay in Texas. Heck, for all we know, Lee was at Drayton's house last night for Thanksgiving.

About Lee; He's a big-time, big bat. And he's a little on the heavy side (hence the "big" part of the "big bat" tag). Lee's listed at 240 pounds on his official bio. But his playing weight last season with the Rangers was at least 270 pounds, and he's been known to teeter on the 280 mark. Thus, he might be the largest man ever to don an Astros uniform. Think of him as your modern-day Cecil Fielder.

It's not quite set in stone as to where Lee will play. Maybe he'll move to first base, and Lance Berkman to the outfield? Or do we keep the Puma at first, and move Big Lee out to left? Or hell, maybe Lee and Berk could move to the outfield? That would be like Oliver Hardy (of Laurel and Hardy ) and John Goodman playing yard together.

Don't mistake the fat smack for ingratitude. Given our short porch in left field (you know them as the Crawford boxes in left field in Minute Maid Park), Lee could ding 40 HRs here in H-town. Moreover, had Lee been here last season, he could've arguably added four to five wins to our total and helped sneak us into the playoffs. This is the guy who will blast that winning homer late in the ninth in a clutch situation when Craig Biggio is sitting on base. So kudos to your Houston Astros. We needed a bat, we got a bat. Well done.

And if the team ever needs a defensive tackle, hell, we got that too. — Steven Devadanam

This week, pundit John Nova Lomax is on the PUP list, which means Richard Connelly gets the start. Man, this is really gonna screw up our fantasy league roster...

Rich's Picks:

Longhorn fans, no matter how pitiful your season has been — and you know it's bad when you have to beat A&M just to insure you get to play a powerhouse like Boise State — it could be worse. You could be taking orders from Mattress Mac.

Mac donated $1 million to the athletic department of his alma mater (or what would have been his alma mater if he had actually graduated), the University of North Texas in Denton. You donate a million bucks to the Longhorns' athletic department, you might get a concession stand named after you, or maybe one of the weight machines. A million bucks at North Texas goes a lot farther.

Unfortunately for Mac, shortly after he donated the bucks UNT fired football coach Darrell Dickey. This so incensed Mac that he ordered the university to direct his money to the music department (that'll show 'em) unless they named the football practice fields in honor of the just-fired coach. (The just-fired coach with the unfortunate name of Dickey.)

UNT caved immediately, and is now the proud home of the Dickey Practice Facility. We can only hope no sixth-grade teams from Denton ISD ever have to use it, or team discipline will be forever shattered.
Dickey, by the way, went out with a bang — for his last game he purchased cheap, black jerseys with no UNT logo for his team to wear. Class.

Some interesting games are on tap this Thanksgiving weekend:

Texas - Texas A&M: We can only hope the Longhorns aren't looking past the Aggies, but when you have a historic opportunity to face tradition-rich Boise State, you tend to get stars in your eyes. Coach Mack Brown will do his best to keep his players concentration focused, even as they battle the noxious fumes coming from the moldering carcass of Dennis Franchione's coaching career. Texas 45-17.

Notre Dame - USC: Trojan players are still reeling from the emotional shock that came when they learned their most celebrated alumnus, OJ Simpson, was to be denied his God-given right to earn money off stabbing to death two people. Coach Pete Carroll tried to get noted clown artist John Wayne Gacy in to speak to the team about the issue, but was disappointed to learn Gacy had been executed 12 years earlier. Notre Dame 34-31.

LSU - Arkansas: Arkansas, whose jerseys sport the player's name on the back, has a roster which includes Will Moore, Brett Goode and Casey Dick. Two student trainers are assigned each game to do nothing else but make sure those three people never stand next to each other on the sideline, lest this farked photo above comes true. The Razorbacks are everybody's trendy pick now, but we still believe in the cold cous cous. LSU 17-14.

Georgia Tech - Georgia: Georgia Tech is ranked 15th in the country and Georgia is not ranked at all. That cannot be a very pleasant circumstance for UGA fans. Which means it's a pretty pleasant circumstance for the rest of us. We're guessing Tech coach Chan Gailey finds a way to lose this one, though. Georgia 21-17.

Florida - Florida State: Things are so bad at FSU that head coach Bobby Bowden had to fire his son, who had been his (woeful) offensive coordinator. That's not as cold as it sounds, though: any son of the ancient Bowden is no doubt nearing retirement age anyway. As sometimes happens with college football match-ups, there is no one worth cheering for here. Just sit back and enjoy the athletic ability of players who couldn't find the classroom with a map. Florida 26-10.

We won't waste too much time on an intro this week. We just want to know how pigskin pundits Richard Connelly and John Nova Lomax are calling the OSU/Michigan game. We gotta make a call to our booki...er, mom.

Um, yeah. The coin has been tossed: Lomax kicks off, Connelly gets the ball in the second half:

John's picks:

The Kansas sky was angry that night my friend, like Bob Stoops railing at a Pac Ten replay official. Icy winds whipped down from Manitoba and Saskatchewan; the mercury plunged well in to the high 30s. Bill Snyder Family Stadium was full of Wildcat fans all pumped up on...on...whatever it is they get pumped up on in Manhattan, Kansas. Wildcat freshman QB Josh Freeman played the game of his life, Colt McCoy got knocked out of the game at the end of the Longhorns first drive (thus forcing into action a true freshman), and the Longhorn secondary played like they'd been partying with Devin the Dude and Z-Ro before the game.

And even with all of that, the Horns still almost pulled it out. We'll just gloss over the fact that the Horns allowed Kansas Freaking State to roll up 45 points on our once-vaunted D and take solace in the fact that this kind of thing has happened before. In 1961, the Horns were in the driver's seat for their very first National Championship ever when they headed north. In this case, "north" was only Ft Worth, where the puny TCU Horned Frogs proceeded to beat the crap out of the Horns by a deceptively close score of 6-0, which inspired Texas coach Darrell Royal to compare the Froggies to cockroaches. Anyway, here's the spooky part. In the 1961 game, UT's stud QB James Saxton was injured in the first quarter, just like McCoy in this game, and TCU and K-State both wear purple. Eerie, isn't it?

Anyway, on to this week's picks.

Michigan at Ohio State. Has any team ever played three "#1 vs #2" matchups in one year? This could be the second of three for the Buckeyes if they win this one, which we think they will. In addition to this being a battle between the two top teams in the nation, it also pits the two squarest coaches in the land. Lloyd Carr reminds me of John Kerry's dumber brother, while next to Jim Tressel, even Joe Paterno seems as hip as Beck. Buckeyes 27, Wolverines 14.

California at USC. As usual, Cal will take their Rose Bowl dreams and the Spoiled Children right down to the last second. And as usual, they will lose. USC 34, Cal 31.

Alabama at Auburn. Is there any state more downright irrational than Alabama? Well, if you think they are normally Crazy in Alabama, you should see what it's like there this week. The state has 0 pro sports teams, so this is the Super Bowl, World Series, and Sum Total of Spiritual Validation for just about every person in places like Mobile, Anniston and Talladega. This year, we think Auburn will drive the final nail in Coach Shula's coffin by a score of 16-13.

Army at Notre Dame. What an epic tilt — four Heisman players and twelve All Americans competing on the same field at the same time! Bing Crosby roots on the Irish, while Douglas MacArthur orates on the Army sidelines! Frank Leahy vs Red Blaik! America's rising Catholic minority battling the Old Establishment! Oh wait, it's not 1947 anymore...never mind. Notre Dame 42, Army 20.

Upset of the Week: Vanderbilt over Tennessee. As a guy who grew up in Nashville, I can tell that even when the Vandoids are pitiful, they give the Vols a pretty good game. The 'Dores are far from pitiful this year, and the Vols are staggering through another typically disappointing year under Phat Phil. Vandy shocks the world 24-22.

Up next, Rich on Snoop Dogg's f-bomb-dropping buddy, Pete Carroll...

Native Houstonian Bomani Jones is a damn good sports writer for ESPN.com and columnist for AOL's Black Voices (one of the few readable things on AOL.com). Today, he offers up a fresh take on the whole Mario Williams vs. Reggie Bush debate in his ESPN Page 2 column:

He says the Texans were right to choose Mario.

Hold your "WTF?", dude. See, there's a great equalizer in the world of sports pontificating: stats. Guys can be labeled the Next Big This or the Second Coming of That. But they have to produce in the ring, on the court or on the field. And right now, as Jones so keenly points out, Mario is beating Bush.

Jones notes that Williams has 4.5 sacks in nine games. (That's true, but it should be noted that his first sack came against the Miami Dolphins, when Texans future Pro-Bowler DeMeco Ryans flushed QB Daunte Culpepper out of the pocket and Williams essentially fell on top of him. But there's no asterisk for "falling on top of QB" in the sack stats book.)

Meanwhile, Reggie Bush is averaging 2.8 yards per carry. That's not exactly what folks were expecting when Bush was announced as the incarnation of Gayle Sayers and Barry Sanders coming out of college.

Granted, if Reggie so much as farts on the sideline, it gets serious play on Sportscenter highlights, but the fact remains that he's not the No. 1 threat in New Orleans — and they have an offensive line. Let's not get started on ours again, huh?

Jones also points out the similarities between Mario and Carolina Panthers DE Julius Peppers, who, especially after last night, has proven to be the one player just about every team in the league would choose to build a franchise around. (Here's a twist of irony for you: The Texans could've picked J-Pep with their very first ever draft. They selected one David Carr.)

Okay, so Mario ain't Julius. That's obvious. But right now, as Jones deftly articulates, Mario ain't Reggie, either.

He's better. — Steven Devadanam

The pavilion area outside Robertson Stadium is where the Houston Dynamo likes to host its special VIP parties. Sometimes it comes complete with lakeside dining, Dynamo president Oliver Luck says. That's when it floods.

All things being equal, the Dynamo won the national MLS title which should give its players and fans a little more bargaining power. Given that and the upcoming holiday season, it's time for a wish list.

Your wish list for the Dynamos and MLS soccer in general:

More kinds of beer

More at-your-seat service of beer

Cleaner toilets

Cleaner floors where they keep the toilets so it's not like wading through a Saigon swamp

A sponsor who's name isn't Dick's Sporting Goods (insert giggle here)

You name it : ________________________________

Post championship, I called Luck to see what the suits on the business side would like to do for the team which plays in the University of Houston's aging Robertson Stadium.

Luck started out modestly enough, but built up steam as he went along. (He asterisked all of this with frequent mentions of how great it has been to work with UH.)

To begin with, in his best-of-all-possible-worlds list, he'd like better ingress and egress to Robertson Stadium. "It's difficult getting in on Cullen and Scott," he said, neglecting to also mention how Interstate 45 on a game day often shuts down. UH and Houston police both help with the traffic, but it still remains "a challenge," he said.

For his second wish, Luck moved from driving to parking, as in: it's really tough to park at a university. So tough, in fact, that they've had to forget about hosting mid-week "friendlies" games between top teams from other countries — El Salvador was one -- the kind of games that tend to double the crowd attending Dynamo games. "UH had to turn down a couple of friendlies games," Luck said, because the lots were filled with students attending classes. Losing these kind of games means lost income.

In a perfect stadium, there wouldn't be football hash marks, Luck said. National television doesn't like to show games with soccer fields divided up in 10-yard increments. That's kept the Dynamo off national TV when they play at home, including the Western Conference finals, Luck said. According to Luck, this is not aesthetically pleasing to the pure soccer fan.

The No. 1 fix Luck would like to make remains the concessions. The Dynamo need bigger and better concessions, Luck said. Fans are used to walking into Reliant Stadium, Minute Maid Park, even the University of Texas's football stadium and expecting a level of choice, cleanliness and service that so far hasn't surfaced at Robertson.

This has been discussed all season and there's been no solution. Aramark can't seem to get out of slo-mo and get the food and drink into the stands. Fans lose out on the non-stop game if they line-up for a dogger.

After the jump: Three things every experienced Dynamo fan knows...

What, you think we wouldn't have a correspondent to the biggest soccer game of the year? Please! Our futbol man at-large, Ian Downing-Beaver, captured some memorable scenes from Sunday's Dynamo win.

Extra points to Ian, who plays soccer for Austin College, for finagling a darn-near-on-the-field spot behind the goal, considering he was a regular ticket holder. He signed on to be one of those guys jumping up and down for the halftime show band. Not that he was that amped about being a dancing fan -- apparently all the jumping kept him warm. And, he scored a T-shirt out of it. Dude's got a career in undercover journalism if he wants it. -- Steven Devadanam

"The save, right on the line! And it's over -- Houston has won the 2006 MLS Cup! Pat Onstad denies Jay Heaps, and the city of orange goes wild!"

There's the call: The Houston Dynamo have won the MLS Cup. I give Mattress Mac -- a.k.a. Jim McIngvale -- a buzz over at Gallery Furniture. "Did you see them throw the canisters on the field?" he says of the Dynamo fans who were tossing stuff onto Pizza Hut Park's pitch. "They're crazy!"

But Mac, who paid for a convoy of buses for traveling Dynamo fans -- and paid for parking for Houston drivers, and then threw a tailgating party in Frisco before the game -- has nothing but love for the orange-clad crew who showed up at his store in the wee hours of Sunday morning to make the road trip. "Who else is crazy to paint their face at 7 a.m.? They're incredibly rabid fans, and they're wonderfully diverse and they have that get-it-done attitude. They really represent the diversity of our city."

Mac says he's "fast becoming" a soccer fan, and that he plans to work with the Dynamo next year. It's good PR, and it's good business: "We've had a great experience with them this year. Their demographics, the crowd they bring to the games, those are the kind of people who buy furniture here."

Darrell Luckett's, Mac's director of promotions, told me that if the Dynamo win, Mac would get a ring, too. I ask him about the chance of getting MLS Cup jewelry. "Ring? I don't have anything to say about that," he says. "They deserve them, not me." Mac tells me that the Convoy buses should return to Tex Star Motors (across the freeway from his store) around 11 p.m.

It's just after midnight, and the buses are nowhere to be seen. Finally, at 12:10 a.m., they pull up. People are still holding up signs and waving as the Caravan rolls in from a long trip down I-45. The doors open, and hundreds of orange-clad fans stream out, looking a little groggy but still crazed. One guy kisses his bus driver. Another dude breaks out a large orange flag and starts waving it around. Members of the Dynamo's Latino fan club El Batallon gather and start singing soccer songs while a drummer pounds away.

Erick, 17, and Rafael, 19, say they were proud to rep the Batallon and take mess to the rival New England Revolution fans at Pizza Hut Park. "There weren't that many," says Rafael. "We met them when we were going in and tore them apart." On the way back, the Batalion crew chanted, sang and pounded on their drums on the entire drive home, which was delayed by traffic on 45. "Yeah, we tore them up," says Erick," of the Revolution fans, "but as you can see, we did much worse to our own people."

He motions to his friend, who fell dozed off on the bus ride home and whose face was subsequently scribbled on by three different Sharpies.

The lesson is clear: When riding home on a bus — as your buddies beat the hell out of a drum — after your hometown soccer team wins the championship, don't fall asleep. — Steven Devadanam

It's 7:05 on a chilly Sunday morning, and even good Christians are in bed. But hundreds of cars are lining up at Gallery Furniture, ready for the Dynamo Convoy that's headed to Frisco, TX for the MLS Cup game. "They started showing up at 5:45 this morning," says Nancy, a volunteer with the Dynamo, her cheeks bright red from the cold. At the entrance of Mattress Mac's store, she and her crew stop cars and hand t-shirts to passengers.

Decked out in Dynamo orange straight down to orange jester hat and orange shoelaces, Eli got here at 6 a.m. with Kelli, a season-ticket holder, and Amanda. He recites his list for the roadie up to Dallas as he touches up his face paint, using his car window as a mirror: "Beer, rum, confetti, paint, more paint, noisemakers beer...oh, and some chips, just in case."

Kelli's impressed that Mattress Mac is picking up the cost of parking at Frisco's Pizza Hut Park. But she's especially psyched about the tailgating party there. "He's paying for all that, too," she says. "That can't be cheap." Indeed not, and Eli's not gonna waste any time. "I got up at 5 a.m., we're leaving here at 7:30 and getting there at 11:30 a.m. We're gonna party all day, baby."

He's interrupted by horns, as the drivers break out in spontaneous honking. It starts out as cacophonous, but soon breaks into a "beep-beep-beep, beep-beep" rhythm. Yelling through a bullhorn at the front of the parking lot, Darrell Luckett, promotion director for Gallery Furniture (and "father or Destiny Child's LaToya," he tells me) hypes up the crowd of folks sitting in their parked cars. Then he leads them in a prayer: "Keep us safe on this trip to Dallas, o Lord. We ask this in Jesus's name. Now...EVERYBODY MAKES SOME NOISE!!" People scream and slam on their horns. A little kid standing out of the sunroof of his parents' car, nearly explodes. Luckett is amazing: Joel Osteen couldn't get people this crazy on a Sunday morning.

Then the line of convoy buses passes by the store on the feeder. It's time for the cars to join them. Luckett takes a deep breath and bellows through his bullhorn: "Start your engiiiiiinnnnes! Drive safely!" A news chopper flies overhead, and folks howl and honk their horns again. "Make some noise, Dynamo fans!" he yells. One by one, 300 cars slowly make their way through the parking lot and onto the 45 North feeder road. The procession is surprisingly orderly. Folks beep and wave their banners in cars that are smeared with white shoe polish messages and orange flags.

Luckett looks on at the line of cars in amazement. * "Man, people are gonna think Mac died," he says with a laugh. Nancy and her crew shove down some leftover donuts (they were provided for the fans), and break for the trip. "See you in Dallas," she says to them. Luckettt hypes up the crowd, giving it is all while he stands in the back of a pickup truck. He waves his bullhorn and shouts. As the last of the cars rolls out, Mattress Mac's first officer of hype slouches to his knees and catches his breath.

"Man," he says with a gasp, "they better win, godammit." -- Steven Devadanam

*Quote of the day

Houston baseball fans, relax. We know you've been on the edge of your seats, wondering if the 2007 season might not provide the opportunity to experience the heartwarming and longstanding Astro tradition of watching an old white guy try to hang on at his position.

Jeff Bagwell's gone for good (with a hearty corporate kick in the ass as thanks). Roger Clemens might not come back for yet another pampered half-year of five-inning appearances. If the Astros couldn't come to terms with Craig Biggio, well, 2007 might have actually become a season of age-proportionate baseball in Houston. Where would be the fun of hearing aging bones creak, of watching opponents' routine grounders turn into singles, of seeing the old guys give glaring looks to younger teammates who couldn't cover two positions at once?

Fear not. The Astros have forked over some dough, and Craig Biggio has realized he wasn't likely to be overwhelmed with offers from other teams. For $5.15 million, he will pursue his chase of 3,000 career hits at Minute Maid. We hope it's more exciting than his chase of the all-time record for getting hit by pitches.

Get ready for the fawning profiles, the "We Luv U Craig" signs, the breathless countdown of the 70 hits he needs to reach 3K. And get ready for all the defensive mobility and range that a 41-year-old can provide, as Chris Burke sits on the bench. -- Richard Connelly

This week, pigskin pundits Richard Connelly and John Nova Lomax bring us thier usual brainy, witty takes on college football. A must read: Their preview on Arkansas vs. Tennessee, which features Houston Nutt, Casey Dick and Jim Bob Cooter. Huh-huh, they said "Houston."

Also, Connelly -- fresh from a trip to NJ -- offers up some perspective on "Rutgers Fever," given last night's stunner over No. 3 Louisville. Somewhere, Jon Bon Jovi and Tony Soprano are clinking glasses.

The coin has been tossed: Connelly kicks off, Lomax gets the ball in the second half:

Rich's picks:

I've just returned from a trip to the old hometown, which sits about a mile from Giants Stadium in New Jersey, so I am full of Rutgers Fever.

"Rutgers Fever" is a newly diagnosed condition prevalent in the Garden State this autumn. It has three main symptoms: 1) A sudden feeling of disorientation at the discovery that Rutgers actually has a football team; 2) A further feeling of confusion at finding out that the team is actually winning (Doctors call this the "You're Shitting Me" Syndrome); and 3) A certainty that the Scarlet Knights, or whatever they're called, will fuck things up somehow before the season ends. (This last symptom is derived from the basic New Jersey fatalism that comes from electing an endless stream of candidates promising to reform corruption in the state.)

Being a fan of college football in what's called the Tri-State Area is somewhat different than it is here in Texas or SEC country. You gotta laugh when the news-radio guy gives the updated scores on the Ohio State, Michigan and Notre Dame games and then says something like "and on the local-team scoreboard, Columbia trails Harvard at halftime 14-7." I imagine that a Texas native hearing that reacts in just about the same "Whatta buncha rubes" way a New Yorker would if he was in Waco and heard a hog-futures report on the hourly update.

Also, in terms of following college football in New York, I can report conclusively that if you're dashing away at intermission of a Sondheim show to get an update on the Louisville-West Virginia game, you're not exactly going to have to elbow your way through a crowd of people trying to beat you to it.

Nothing on the schedule last week was as thrilling as the "Being Alive" finale in Company was — not even the LSU-Tennessee game, which tells you how good "Being Alive" was — but here's hoping this week's somewhat lame line-up produces some cliffhangers.

Texas — Kansas State: Yet another in the long list of games that never get mentioned when Longhorn fans bitch about Notre Dame playing the service academies. The game will be played at Bill Snyder Family Stadium, which sounds like some place where you'd book a birthday party for your six-year-old. Texas 54-18.

Texas Tech — Oklahoma: Neither of these teams has been as good as advertised, and both are scrambling to save their seasons and their coaches' "genius" reputations. As always, the vote goes against the team running the gimmicky offense. Oklahoma 28-21.

Tennessee — Arkansas: In an experience that parallels mine in New York, anyone running out at halftime of this game to check on Sondheim news won't need to worry about competing with a big crowd. Arkansas coach Houston Nutt — or, to use his full identification, Arkansas coach Houston "Yes, that's my name" Nutt — faces off against Tennessee backup QB Jim Bob Cooter. And in Tennessee, you don't have to add any "Yes, that's my real name" to his moniker. Tennessee 24-21.

Notre Dame — Air Force: Yes, Air Force lost to San Diego State. But they kicked ass against Saddam Hussein. The world will breathlessly watch this game waiting to see what new way ND develops to give up an 80-yard TD by having two of their secondary tackle each other instead of the receiver. Still, the Irish win. And everyone will moan how they didn't win by a big enough margin, ignoring Ohio State and Michigan's squeakers against cupcakes last week. Notre Dame 42-28.

Houston — SMU: Geez, it's hard to be a Coog fan when the schedule is full of snore-inducing opponents like the Mustangs. SMU should be easy to hate — nestled in tony University Park, with a campus that's the self-important home to the fashion-obsessed offspring of Dallas's elite — but instead, no one gives a shit about it. UH 31-21.

After the jump: Lomax on Nutt, Dick and Cooter. Oh, behave!

The Houston Dynamo are just now traveling to Frisco, TX for the big game, and already, the betting has begun.

We're not sure what the over/under is yet, but we do know that Mayor Bill White and Boston mayor Thomas Menino have a little wager going. Don't get too excited: It's for pie.

Mayor White has wagered 10 pecan pies that Houston will bring home the MLS Cup. Mayor Menino has 10 Boston cream pies that say his team will win the game. The loser will obviously have to pony, er, pie up.

Already highly sensitive of any funny business, our moraled mayor declined to call a final score:

"We have a bunch of fanatic fans, and they won't mind if Boston scores a goal, just as long as we score a bunch more. I am not going to tell you the final score, because then (people) will say that the game was fixed."

What a buzzkill. Menino, meanwhile, had no such hangup: "I'll tell you what is going to happen: Taylor Twellman will score the winning goal at 2:30 minutes to go."

"If that occurs, I'm going to have a league investigation," Mayor White fired back. Aha! Now it's getting interesting.

I'll have to dig up some of my investigative journalism skills and see if the pies will come from Goode Co. BBQ. — Steven Devadanam

As promised, Mayor White held his big sendoff for the Houston Dynamo this afternoon at City Hall. Turnout was impressive, especially for Wednesday at lunchtime. The Texian Army was out in full force backed by marching band-style drums. Mayor White and members of City Council urged fans to support the team, challenging them to make the trip that Mattress Mac's paying for this Sunday. After announcements and some rah-rah speeches, players hung out and posed for pictures, while fans signed a giant good luck card for the team.

Team president Oliver Luck told me that he's expecting 12 to 13 buses to be filled on Sunday morning, which will be dubbed the Houston Dynamo Convoy, presented by Gallery Furniture. Mattress Mac is planning for this to be the largest convoy in sports history. The procession will leave Gallery Furniture 'round 7:30 a.m. and head straight for Pizza Hut Park.

If you're up for an up-to-six-hour roadie with several thousand screaming fans, you can hop on a bus. Or, if you'd rather cruise up yourself, Mac has even offered to pay any traveling Houstonian's parking at Pizza Hut Park.

Pretty durn generous, Mac.

Want more info? You can find it here. Stay tuned. -- Steven Devadanam

Quick: Name the Houston professional football franchise that has gone to a championship game in the first year of its existence.

(Cue crickets/