It's Time to Fight Back Against Elves on Shelves

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Just...no. Don't even think about it.

Dear Parents of Small Children,

We realize how cute you think these Elf on a Shelf things are. We get it. It's what, the zillionth year that you're going to spam our Facebook timelines with notifications about what your naughty little elf is using to torment your child with today? We've seen about every iteration of what your elf is capable of, and perhaps it's time to stop the madness.

It was funny the first time your elf squeezed out all of the toothpaste onto the sink, while high-diving off the back of a Barbie. We're sure your kid was totally freaked.

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This "85 Years of Oscars" Poster By Olly Moss Utterly Rules

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Olly Moss
This Oscar poster was created by artist Olly Moss ahead of this year's awards show. It encompasses 85 years of film history, and each year is represented by a totem signifying each Best Picture winner.

That blank spot in 2001? It confused me at first too, but it is for A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly. If you have seen the movie, you will get it. I am not going to spoil a years old movie. The Forrest Gump and Patton ones are pretty cool.

A time-wasting photo indeed. The fun is figuring out which character represents which movie with resorting to IMDb.

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Book 'Em, Arian: Texans Foster Guests On Upcoming Episode Of Hawaii Five-O

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Foster, center, on set with actors Scott Caan and Alex O'Loughlin.
While he was in Hawaii a few weeks back playing the 2013 Pro Bowl, Houston Texans running back and Twitter philosopher Arian Foster found time to shoot a few scenes for an upcoming Hawaii Five-O episode that centers around a murder on the island.

Foster, in his acting debut, plays himself. Other guests on this episode include that dude from Train, Pat Monahan, and Larry Manetti from Magnum P.I. fame.

Too bad they couldn't snag J.J. Watt to play some sort of bounty hunter, or have Matt Schaub play a tree.

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Happy 50th Birthday, Dave Foley: The Hottest Kids in The Hall Member in Drag

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There is no denying that The Kids in The Hall has been one of the most influential sketch comedy programs in the history of television. Before The State, Mr. Show and everything else that came afterwards, it was KITH, riding into our homes like a naughty Canadian Monty Python, saying and doing the things that Saturday Night Live wouldn't dare.

The cast was obviously one of the best comedic teams ever assembled, and today cast member Dave Foley, the baby of the bunch, turns 50 years old. Fellow KITH men Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson are both 53.

Part of the magic of KITH wasn't just recurring characters like Buddy Cole (my fave), The Eradicator, or even Headcrusher or Gavin. It was the fact that the whole cast, one and all, made beautiful women when they were in drag.

Especially Foley, who would continue to don women's clothes even after the show ended, on NewsRadio, It's Pat: The Movie and other projects.



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Christmas Ornaments Out of Everyday Household Items: DIY For Sure

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BeerCanDarl, Etsy.com
Unless you have time to get crafty, you are going to have to get creative.
As any adult knows, it takes quite a few years to amass a good amount of Christmas ornaments, and if you are newly out on your own, this may come as news to you. That first Christmas after leaving mom and pop's pad is something of a shock. Christmas ornaments are not cheap. And not only are they not cheap, but you need a lot of them to fill a good-sized tree. Sure, the Dollar Store is always there for you, but their ornaments are crap and when you have to buy 30 of them, it adds up.

No worries. There are plenty of random items you have lying around the house that you can use to trim the tree. You just have to get creative.


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Just a Wall of Asses and Titties at Your Local Halloween Store

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The best part of Halloween isn't the shapely sorority girls in slutty costumes, cute kids dressed as Ewoks, couples going as mustard and ketchup, free candy at the office or even all the creepy movies on cable.

It's being able to walk into your local Halloween store, peruse the aisles and find an end cap of just titties, asses and um, a muscled-up preggers belly. For your pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger costume? Sure.

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10 Anchormen We Want to Make Out with

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Sorry, Burgundy, you're not our type.
Tonight, the Alamo Drafthouse, the place you can drink a lot and watch a movie, is bringing its "Rolling Roadshow" to downtown Houston's Market Square for a movie under the stars. The movie du jour of the evening will be the Will Ferrell vehicle Anchorman. If you've never seen Anchorman, you are probably over 60 and/or hate comedy and/or America. The movie has become a beloved classic with a slew of quotable lines and scenes. I was recently in an HR seminar on workplace communication where an excerpt from the movie was shown to illustrate how important open dialogue is in the workforce (because without it you may be eaten by bears).

What makes this movie so dang funny to me is not just its brilliant ensemble cast or Will Ferrell at his best, but the idea that Ferrell is a really sexy anchorman that women swoon over. I don't think I am in the minority here when I say that Will Ferrell is not the most attractive dude, especially with that 1970s 'stache. But to each his own, of course.

Unlike lady newscasters, who are required to be good-looking, hot anchormen are hard to come by...or are they? Here are ten newscasters we would totally make out with.

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Happy 60th Birthday Pee-wee Herman: The Best WTF Picture Pairings

Today is actor Paul Reubens' 60th birthday. Born August 27, 1952, 30 years and change later, he would reach icon status for his character Pee-Wee Herman, through a television series, two films, and a long-line of pop-culture cameos.

I was one of those kids that begin every Saturday morning with a dose of Pee-wee's Playhouse, and usually ending that evening by falling asleep in front of a VHS copy of Pee-wee's Big Adventure, little knowing that the character and his cast of friends -- human and otherwise -- would remain a part of my life forever.

Reubens soiled some of that magic with a July 1991 arrest at a Florida porno theater, but by that time I had moved on to MTV and being a sullen adolescent. Reubens reappeared in various film roles, most notably Blow, but it wasn't until 2007 that he fully revived his Herman persona.

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Wigstock: The Wild and Wonderful Girls of Space City Con

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Photos By Abrahan Garza
Yet another comic book and sci-fi convention hit Houston this past weekend when the Space City Con landed at the Westin Galleria. How can you beat a "geek festival with free parking"? You really cannot.

Fans of science fiction, fantasy, comics, gaming, literature and art came together to benefit the Kids Need to Read Foundation, and of course they came dressed to impress and express their love for some of their most beloved characters.

As with this past May's Comicpalooza 2012, Houston's comic faithful didn't disappoint.

You can peep the rest of the action at Space City Con right here.

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Daniel Day-Lewis As Abe Lincoln: The First Official Image Is Released

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Yes, we've all seen the pic of Daniel Day-Lewis in Abe Lincoln drag in various stills from last year's Lincoln shoot, and there was even that picture of the actor at a diner near the set. But today Entertainment Weekly unveiled the first official photo of El DDL as the 16th president, complete with the iconic beard and side-part.

Get ready to see Lincoln drink the South's milkshake this fall. Sorry, I had to do it.

Wait. Is he sitting in his box at Ford's Theatre? Is director Steven Spielberg really going to show Lincoln's assassination in the November film? This is going to be great. Not the shooting of the president, but the inclusion of such a huge historical event.

Spielberg tells EW that the film "is really about a working leader who must make tough decisions and get things done in the face of overwhelming opposition," and that it will deal with the abolition of slavery and the last days of the Civil War.

No mention of vampires. At all.

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