I'm not sure if it's a sign of age, maturity, or just plain old going soft, but I would trade half an hour of sex and war for five minutes of worth of dialogue between Cesare Borgia and Niccolò Machiavelli.

Those odds might actually be accurate judging by episode seven of the Borgias. Within the first ten minutes we learn that Cesare's meatheaded brother Juan has managed to contract syphilis, and the clever little urethra scraping device the doctor prescribes necessitated a pause on the DVR and a strong drink to remedy the sight of.

Weeping dick or no weeping dick, Juan is sent with the Papal armies to lay siege to Caterina Sforza's castle in the pope's bizarre, Zod-esque plot to have her kneel before him. At first, Juan does a fair, if dickish job, and manages to capture Sforza's son. He has the lad publicly tortured with the strappado and some amputation for most of the episode, and is even on the verge of executing him.

Sforza remains heartbroken and tear-stained, but refuses to bow to Juan. The final point is made when Gina McKee lifts up her skirts, flaps her labia at Juan, and says she'll birth ten more boys to hunt him down. It's the only nudity in this episode, but you have to give Showtime credit for going that explicit.

More >>

Tyrion reviews his siege tactics in this episode.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Theon Greyjoy is screwed.

The eponymous "Prince" of this week's episode started out with the best of intentions: seeking to win back his father's favor after Balon declared himself King of the Iron Islands, he naturally -- and foolishly -- assumed a little mission creep might advance the old man's cause and win himself a little much-needed respect.

Unfortunately, hubris is a rather unforgiving character flaw. Starting with the botched execution of Ser Rodrik and ending with the murders of "Bran" and "Rickon," Theon has worked himself into a corner from which it looks like no one can free him.

Plus, Jon's been captured by wildlings, Daenerys's dragons are still missing and war is coming to King's Landing.

More >>

The study group gets the 8-bit treatment.

NBC's clumsy handling of Community's third season came to a head during last night's three-episode dump, including the season finale.

By itself, the first of the three ("Digital Estate Management") would have made for a fine standalone episode, and easily one of the best of the season. This is probably why NBC stuck an episode of 30 Rock between it and the two final episodes.

Yeah, probably.

More >>

Welcome to The Machine, Reese.

So it's come to this. Slowly but surely, the prehistory of Mr. Finch's (Michael Emerson) Machine has come into focus, as well as that of his muscle/partner Mr. Reese (Jim Caviezel). Unfortunately, the noose is tightening around them both, because even though the CIA has backed off for now, the FBI has taken an enthusiastic interest in our mystery men.

"Firewall" started with a (metaphorical) bang and rarely let up, making for an enjoyably tense season finale to a show I started off reviewing by saying it was better than we dared hope. 22 episodes later, I'm still pleasantly surprised (and relieved) that PoI remains as engaging as it is. There's filler, sure, but unlike some other shows I've reviewed here (*cough* The Killing *cough*), I'm already looking forward to next season.

More >>

The two Mrs. Drapers

"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock"; truer words were never spoken (by a fictional character in a Shakespeare play).

Last night's episode of Mad Men was one of my favorites of the season. It dripped with the bitter resentment of each of its main characters, and the manner in which they dealt with their green-eyed monsters was beautiful.

Betty's Jealousy: The episode begins with Betty weighing out pieces of cheese in her Weight Watcher's scale, which I had no idea dated back to the '60s. Betty has not shown up much this season, but when she does it's delightful to see her juvenile and substantially larger self juxtaposed against the young and spry Megan. Betts goes to pick the kids up at Don's new apartment and is thrown for an emotional loop at the swankiness of the place and the skinniness of Don's new wife. So what does she do? She tells Sally about Don's first wife, Anna, and somehow manipulates her daughter into blaming Megan for not sharing the details. This is after she fills her mouth with Reddi-wip, and then shamefully spits it into the sink.

More >>

Stop dragon my heart around.

Ned Stark can't catch a break.

Executed last season, with his head stuck on a pike outside the Red Keep, the former Lord of Winterfell continues to get his name dragged through the mud. First there's Sandor Clegane (Rory McCann), insisting to Sansa that dear old dad enjoyed killing just as much as he does, and then Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), making a rare season-two appearance to needle Catelyn about Jon Snow. Come on, people, hasn't Sean Bean suffered enough?

Ned's honor is offered in stark (heh) contrast to the actions of Theon and Jaime, who each demonstrate in their own way how far they are willing to go to achieve their ends.

More >>

From the very beginning of The Borgias, the show has centered around the politics of the Vatican and the reach of the church. The sixth episode this season continues to further the plots both for and against the pope. However, rather than focusing on the ways those plots were furthered here in the middle of the series, I thought I'd take a look at the performances of the great schemers who are really advancing the action.

Of course François Arnaud's Cesare Borgia has from day one dominated the show by basically being Nick Fury. He is a master spy, a perfect soldier, and it is his abilities that more often than not save the day.

That being said, his desire for vengeance and to prove himself to his father in hopes of leaving the office of cardinal and taking a position of leadership in the Vatican army has come to make him make tiny mistakes. Well, not tiny. He did murder a member of the prominent Sforza family and start a war all because he couldn't take a dig at his sister. Nonetheless, even though he continues to win the day through a telling combination of brutality and guile, it's clear that Cesare's emotions are starting to cause more problems than he solves.

More >>

Eh. Seems plausible.

When last we left the study group, the "Greendale Seven" had just been unceremoniously expelled from college by the board of regents following a failed attempt to oust Chang. My personal hope for this episode was either: The Seven's ascendance to mythic revolutionary status, à la the Seattle Seven, culminating with protests followed by death or jail.

Or: They'd return to school as if nothing happened, because that would have the greatest potential to piss people off.

As it turns out, neither of those came to pass. What did happen? Lots of clips, some misdirection and more questions about Abed's sanity.

More >>

Way to be inconspicuous, fellas.

In recapping this show every week, I often neglect to mention (except in passing) what is arguably the most important component of the Reese-Finch partnership: The Machine itself. We know more or less how it came to be (NSA-funded project headed by the presumed deceased Nathan Ingram) and how it's used by Finch to prevent crime in NYC.

But remember that The Machine is constantly being used by the government to scan for terrorists (and people pirating movies, probably). As efficiently as Ingram and Finch designed it and as streamlined as the NSA's protocols might be, an undertaking this massive is bound to draw attention.

And now it has.

More >>

Novelist Charlaine Harris is surprisingly unemotional when she discusses the upcoming end of her Sookie Stackhouse series of books. There are only two more titles planned in the Southern Gothic series, which is based on the adventures of a telepathic waitress who lives among vampires, werewolves, fairies and other supernatural creatures in a small town in Louisiana. The characters inspired the HBO television series True Blood and garnered Harris thousands of new fans, but even that new success hasn't been enough to persuade her to continue.

"I don't have anything left to tell. After the last book, I'll have said everything I have to say about Sookie," she tells Art Attack. "Really, I think it would be doing readers a disservice to continue writing a character when my heart wasn't in it. I've loved writing Sookie, but if you see the end of the road, you see the end of the road."

Harris admits she is a little worried about doing the end of Sookie's story justice. "I'm generally pretty excited about trying to tie up all the threads and trying to leave the readers with something that they can say, 'Okay, now I know.' But at the same time, I don't know if I can get everything wound up. It just feels like a very big challenge."

More >>