I know that to many people who actually celebrate St. Patrick's Day in earnest, the holiday dedicated to the death of the patron saint of Ireland, Saint Patrick, is a time of family celebration and Irish pride. But sadly, to most of the United States, the holiday has turned into a poor excuse to get completely obliterated and wear monochromatic green outfits.
We Americans just love any reason that justifies getting tanked; hell, we don't even need the holiday, really; it just makes painting shamrocks on your face more socially acceptable.
In my younger days, I celebrated this holiday with the fervor of a girl who desperately needs bead necklaces on Mardi Gras to prove her worth, but now I am happy to eat a boiled potato and watch Leprechaun. Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I found varying levels of emotion about the holiday, from "Let's crack another green Guinness" to "Get off my lawn...with your throw-up." One particularly irate friend called out every person who has ever partaken a few too many as the scum of the earth, especially when their upchucking was involved. It seemed a bit extreme, but I understood her point. No one likes being around really drunken, barfing people.
It got me thinking, however, about debaucherous moments in my own life, holiday-related and not, and how I wished I could apologize to those who got caught in the cross fire, and when I say "cross fire," obviously I'm talking about vomit.
You see, I am what you might describe as someone with a weak stomach, or in layman's terms: a puker. I never mean to do it, and when it happens it's usually not even because I have consumed that much. More often than not, I just haven't eaten enough that day to counteract the alcohol or maybe my internal organs just can't handle it, but regardless of reason, my urge to purge is legend with my close friends and family. (I was known for some time as "Puke-a-saurus Rex.)
In my deep thoughts on the subject -- because I guess I have nothing better to think about --- it occurred to me that I have never tossed my cookies on St. Patrick's Day. There have been many, many other days, and here are a few of my favorites. I would love if you would share yours, assuming you remember them.More »