Pop Rocks: What if Arrested Development Sucks?

Categories: Pop Rocks

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Our old friends are returning to the model home
Seven long years ago the world was forced to say goodbye too early to the most screwed up family on television. The Bluths, of Fox's Arrested Development, slipped quietly into the night on February 10, 2006; it was even more silent because they had to compete against the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. With one quick swoop and a shortened season, one of the greatest television comedies of all time was gone, like one of GOB's magic tricks illusions.

For those of us that were devout fans of the show, we bought the DVDs and we watched them over and over again, quoting lines, finding plot tie-ins that we never caught before, and ultimately feeling superior to those people that had never been exposed to show creator Mitch Hurwitz's masterpiece. "You've never watched Arrested Development?" we ask incredulously. Secretly, despite the disappointment of the canceled series, we relished the fact that "not everyone got it" and we did. Because we were wittier with more intelligent senses of humor (humor snobs). We wanted it to do well, but then we didn't want it to sell out either, and perhaps it was best that it went down in a blaze, or small fire, of glory.

For the past seven years there have been murmurs of new episodes, a movie, some sort of reunion and I for one didn't believe it. Why would Fox, or any other network for that matter, resurrect a failed television show? At its close, Arrested Development was rated 123rd in the ratings, not a show that you could argue many people were watching. But when the rumor mill cranked up again that Netflix would be producing new episodes of the show; it was still hard to believe. Why? True the show has some pretty obsessive fans, but we are a small army that just happens to be very good at reciting lines from favorite episodes (Bees. Beads. Beads?). But for whatever reason, and I'm sure that Netflix has calculators and projections and loss spreadsheets and business models, fifteen brand new freakin', how awesome is this, episodes will stream on Netflix on May 26. It's like the Spring Break episode when the Bluths try to give Lucille an intervention and all wind up getting drunk and having their best party yet. That's how great this is!

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Pop Rocks: 24 Is Back, Except Now It's 12

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Hell ya! Bauer is back.
Some may say that Fox is hard up for new content and that rehashing an old series in a new format is like cutting the sleeves off of a T-shirt and calling it a tank top, or some may say, "What! They are bringing back 24. That's awesome." Which group do you fall into?

Yes indeed, Jack Bauer and his espionage-wielding, time bomb ticking, assassination plot stopping, ass-kicking self will return to the small screen once more. Despite the rumors of a movie, Fox has decided to scrap that in favor of a short 12-episode season. This format, in general, is a new thing for Fox and one they are calling a "limited series," and 24 will not be the only such show to have this configuration ("limited series" Married With Children, anyone?).

How do you have a 24-hour time period in only 12 episodes? Fox admittedly stated that a lot of the side plot stuff in 24 was pointless, and by systematically cutting it out and focusing on the juicy substance, Bauer could technically have solved all of the world's problems in just 12 hours. Fair enough.

Of course Keifer Sutherland will return to the iconic role and by the way he is stoked! In addition to thanking the producers for giving him another chance he also stated that, "Make no mistake, my goal is to knock your socks off." Well of course Sutherland is thrilled to be back in the Bauer-saddle again, his last attempt at television was the Fox show Touch, which lasted all of two short seasons and had a horrible title.

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Pop Rocks: What's More Spock than Spock? Spock(s)

Categories: Pop Rocks

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The search for Spock is over. They are both right here.
It's like every Star Trek fanboys wet dream! OG Spock, Leonard Nimoy, and newbie Spock, Zachary Quinto go head-to-head in Audi's snazzy new A7 commercial. In the ad, Nimoy is the old fuddy-duddy Spock, driving a Mercedes, of all the un-futuristic cars out there, which not only doesn't have the trunk space for his golf clubs, but it also won't tell him how the hell to get where he's going. All it does is drive, geesh.

The A7, however, is all ultramodern and has gadgets and gizmos that pop up when Qunito says, "Engage." Not really, but almost. The ad plays up the two's obvious differences; Nemoy is like 100 years old and his hair is a mess and Quinto is young and his 'do is full of product.

And while the commercial never explicitly mentions Tribbles or anything, it's more than obvious that the car company is trying to play up the Spock angle, which is pointy-eared (amiright, amiright!). Every time Quinto plays with one of the car's cool doohickies, a warp-speed sounding sonata plays, while Nimoy babbles the "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" to himself, which is not Trek but certainly appeals to all the LARPers out there who have been trying for years to find a wormhole that will link Middle Earth to the Starfleet Command. Put that hand lotion away guys, he did that shtick back in the '60s!

Audi claims that the ad has "nothing" to do with Star Trek at all and they just happen to put these two actors together because they seemed like they may become BFFs and Audi is into that type of thing.

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Pop Rocks: A Farewell To Pop Rocks, And One Last Request

Categories: Pop Rocks

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Hasta la vista, babies.
Today's entry will be my last Pop Rocks. Starting Thursday, the lovely and talented Abby Koenig will be taking over this recurring dissection of whatever (mostly) current, entertainment-related event is likely to get people to click on the link that is dotted.

My advice: write about boobs.

When I first started doing this back in 2009, it was mostly for the extra money, but also because the only editorial guideline was that it had to be about "pop culture," a wonderfully expansive phrase I've somehow utilized to encompass everything from celebrity gossip to fantasy football to meteorology. Even with that relative lack of restriction, I honestly didn't anticipate doing it for over three years, and now's as good a time as any to motor, for a number of reasons.

I also have a favor to ask, if you'll indulge me.


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Pop Rocks: Hugh Jackman Is On Twitter To Answer All Some Of Your Wolverine Questions

Categories: Film, Pop Rocks

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Funny hair, fingernails are too long, needs chest wax - 2/10 would not bang.
Got a question about The Wolverine? Of course you do, and now you can ask the man himself (or the actor who plays him, anyway):

Fans are getting the special opportunity to ask Hugh Jackman questions about the highly anticipated film "The Wolverine." Check out the Twitter pages for Hugh Jackman and The Wolverine on Thursday, May 2nd at 12:00 pm ET to see Hugh answer your questions via video!

Start tweeting your questions now with #TheWolverine #AskHugh and comment on Facebook for the chance to have them presented.

This goes up on Art Attack at 8 AM CT, there's still time to send in those super important queries. Some of us, however, aren't lazy bums like you and have already submitted our own. So before you get to it, make sure you're not being redundant.

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Pop Rocks: Admit It, The New Man Of ... I Mean, Pacific Rim Trailer Is Pretty Badass

Categories: Film, Pop Rocks

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If they form Voltron too I'll die a happy man.
I realize I just did one of these with Man of Steel a couple weeks ago, but mercy, did that WonderCon footage of Pacific Rim didn't cause geek serotonin levels to spike yesterday.

But I know what you're saying: "Dude, WonderCon was last month. Why is this just coming out now?" For starters, you totally didn't say that, because you have no idea when WonderCon was. Second, here's director Guillermo Del Toro:

This was originally intended for only WonderCon, but after listening to so many of you asking for more of the movie online, I think it's time for me to show you more footage.

And show us he did.

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Pop Rocks: People Naming Gwyneth Paltrow Their "Most Beautiful Woman" Isn't As Controversial As They'd Like to Think

Categories: Pop Rocks

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Great, this is just what she needed.
I guess if you're going to keep doing that dumbass "Sexiest Man Alive" thing, you have to keep this up as well. People magazine really did a bang-up job handing their Most Beautiful Woman title to Gwyneth Paltrow, though. I haven't been online all that much the last day or so, but even peripheral virtual digging revealed the choice was not a popular one.

And that's the whole point, isn't it? Is Paltrow beautiful by...somebody's standards? Sure, probably. But there were safer choices: Kate Upton, maybe, or Halle Berry, or Aishwarya Rai, but none of them are also currently topping Star's Most Hated Celebrity List, like Paltrow is. As a tongue-wagger, it's a heck of a brouhaha.

But before you go congratulating People on their bold choice, at least acknowledge they could've been quite a bit more controversial.

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Pop Rocks: Reese Witherspoon's Mugshot Is a Thing of Beauty

Categories: Pop Rocks

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"No, not that one."
Is anything as undignified as a mugshot? There you are, maybe it's late at night/early in the morning, maybe you're drunk, with all the physiological side effects that confers (bloodshot eyes, unkempt hair). Whatever the reason for your booking, the harsh fluorescent lights of the police station give everyone an unhealthy pallor. And that grainy, law-enforcement-grade film stock isn't doing you any favors either. I guess sex tapes are worse. We don't have quite as large a celebrity pool to choose from, unfortunately, but give it time.

Anyway, you probably heard about actress Reese Witherspoon's arrest for disorderly conduct last Friday. The arrest would've raised eyebrows on its own, considering Witherspoon's previously innocuous reputation (right, like *you* wouldn't have cheated with Jake Gyllenhaal), but it was her hilariously stupefying uses of the "Do you know my name?" approach that really got everyone's knickers in a twist. "How dare she?" we regular folk demanded, secretly wondering why she didn't just try to bribe him, like I always assume rich people do.

She's been apologetic ever since, which is probably equal parts genuine embarrassment and fear that her latest movie (Mud) she's been promoting will suffer as a result. But if you ask me, she ought to be proud of that phenomenal mugshot.

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Pop Rocks: Admit It, the New Man of Steel Trailer Is Pretty Badass

Categories: Pop Rocks

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I've been on the fence about the upcoming Superman reboot, Man of Steel, pretty much since it was announced. I mean, Bryan Singer's Superman Returns was -- minus the airplane rescue -- such a colossal disappointment, it's hard to imagine any subsequent efforts being worse.

But if anyone was up to the task of going even lower than Singer, it was Zack Snyder, whom you may remember from scenes like this.

The third trailer dropped last Tuesday, expanding on the previous efforts (which I refer to as "Married to the Sea") and showing us something sorely lacking from Singer's effort: awesomeness.

And pecs.


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Pop Rocks: Sleepless in Seattle Is 20, and Here Are Five Other Movies Where the Wrong Guy Got the Girl

Categories: Pop Rocks

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More shocking than "The Exorcist."
This years marks the 20th anniversary since the release of Sleepless in Seattle, the second rom-com pairing of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (and a distant second to their most enjoyable outing, Joe Versus the Volcano). The plot is familiar, and disturbing: Recent widower Sam Baldwin (Hanks), with the help of his creepy, proto-stalker son, lures an equally stalkery Annie the reporter (Ryan) away from the perfectly serviceable Walter (Bill Pullman), all based on a supposed love for the same movie.

Twenty years is a long time, I guess. I couldn't bring myself to sit through Sleepless in its entirety until a few years ago, but the whole "dumping Walter" thing always bugged me, and like any other festering annoyance I'm unable to move beyond, it got me thinking of other examples.


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