In my very short three months as a new mother, I have already come to realize that this is a thankless job. More thankless now, I assume, as my twin babies cannot speak. And while I don't normally condone what are really just Hallmark holidays, Mother's Day is a complete necessity if for no other reason than moms deserve to feel slightly appreciated one day out of the year. Plus, because it is Mother's Day, The Today Show gave this mom of 10 a car the other day, although I can't say if getting a free car is really worth having 10 children.
|I'll do anything if you stop crying! (Except take those hats off because I'm trying to get a good Facebook picture)|
But since I'm a new mom, my level of "need for gratitude" is slightly different than someone who's been a mom for much longer. I don't "need" a night out on the town with my husband; I'd like one, but it hasn't been that long since we had one of those. I was way fatter and pregnant, but those times were some of our best dates because I actually ate. I don't "need" a bubble bath, I mean, I probably do because I smell like milk puke, but in terms of relaxing, soaking in a hot tub isn't going to do much for me when there are crying babies outside the bathroom.
This is not to say that new moms don't deserve to celebrate Mother's Day: Oh, we do. It's just that you can't buy us the things we really need at Zales or Edible Arrangements (although I would rock a fruit arrangement any day of the week). The things we need, don't exist in the real world; they are imaginary.
The Promise That Our Boobs Will Go Back To NormalMore »
I have yet to meet a mom who said that after she stopped breastfeeding, her breasts went back to the way they were before. I don't know about celebrities, but I'll assume they've all had boob jobs. The only thing that I have heard from breastfeeding mothers is that post wean, their bosoms disappeared. Gone, evaporated, or perhaps deflated is a more accurate term. If there are any genetically blessed moms out there, please send me before and after pictures of your boobs if that's not too weird for you.