World Wide War

Since the soft launch of Facebook's "Graph" search engine, there is more and more speculation about what this tool may or may not do. The Facebook Graph Search allows users to look up their individual friends to see what they are up to, what they like, what pictures of food they have posted for no reason and their latest uneducated diatribe about the new immigration proposals. It's having the ability to find out the most detailed minutia of your 500 closest friends at your fingertips.

Its usefulness is two-fold. For one, you can find out about things or businesses that your friends have discussed. Maybe you are on the hunt for a good pizza place, you can "graph" all of the places your friends have been talking about and find yourself a new spot to eat. The second, more likely use for this tool, is stalking, naturally.

But that's not why Facebook got in the search game; they got in to compete with Google in the two companies' never ending fight for world domination. What's funny is that Facebook Graph comes from the mind of a previous Google employee, Lars Rasmussen. Rasmussen, according to a Newsweek interview, along with his brother, was the mind behind Google Maps and the eventual lemon Google Wave. Rasmussen jumped ship and went to work with Zuckerberg and Facebook and now has the social media company moving into the search game.

Obviously, if you are Facebook having a Google employee puts you at an advantage. Are there secrets that came along for the ride?

There are two end results that I see from Facebook trying to horn in on Google's search territory. 1. World Wide War or 2. Joining forces in the dark side.

If Google and Facebook join forces, we are all going to be very, very sorry.

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Gone but not forgotten

When I read the other day that the Playstation 2 was being taken off the market after a decade-plus long run I had mixed emotions. I had a horribly, unbelievably long relationship with a PS2 fanatic and upon hearing the news, a flood of old memories came rushing back to me. I spent many years hating my significant other and blaming it on the fact that his preferred companion was his PS2. He loved that damn Playstation, much much more than he ever loved me.

The funny part of this tale is that I was the one who bought it for him. And if I knew then what I know now, I would do it all over again.

For my boyfriend's (at the time) 22nd birthday, he gave me an ultimatum - buy me a Playstation 2 or else. "Or else" referred to something that I'd rather not discuss at this time, but you can strain that dirty part of your brain and fill in the blank. A Playstation 2 it was! Despite the fact that we lived in a one room, not one bedroom, studio apartment and I paid all of our bills, my decision was very clear.

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crazy-frankenstein.com

Editor's note: First published on December 11, 2011, we return this reader favorite.

If there is any one aspect of being a parent we have been avidly preparing for for years, it's how to explain the concept of Santa Claus to our child. The world of science and pop culture offers so many helpful devices and skills that we are fully confident of our ability to assuage any doubt for many years to come. So that you won't be left out, here are some popular children's questions about the Claus and our answers.

How can Santa visit everywhere in the world in one night?

Santa's sleigh contains an Improbability Drive. When in use, it is simultaneously everywhere in the entire universe at once due to a quirk of quantum physics theory that states that there is a very small chance of a subatomic particle being very far from the nucleus of an atom. All you have to do is create a field of infinite improbability and off you go. Fun fact: An unexpected mis-ignition of the Improbability Drive and its reality-warping effects turned the sleigh's engine into eight reindeer, and Santa liked them so much he never bothered to attempt to turn them back. They remain a living part of Santa's sleigh.

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Like everyone else, I saw the news last week that Twitter had been hacked into. "Change your password immediately," the blogosphere warned. Sure, I'll get to that in a...ooh, is that a Smoothie King?

Just as Murphy's Law likes to unfold, I did nothing; my Twitter account got hacked. Within minutes I had sent offensive videos out to all of my followers, prompting a slew of "Abby, why did you send me that bizarre video?" e-mails and texts. My immediate response was teenage-level embarrassment. I might as well have been walking down the halls of my high school with a leaky maxi-pad. The next wave of emotion I felt was that of, "Meh."

Sure, being hacked is a serious pain in the ass, but who hasn't been hacked or received an unusual request to "send money" from an old friend's e-mail account? Being hacked is just one of those technological annoyances we have to deal with and is easily rectified. Change your damn password and tweet an apology.

Dealing with tech frustrations is nothing new; they have just become more technological and less illogical. Thinking about some old tech debacles dating back to the '90s might make you happy to send out spam.

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Recently, Discovery Green presented something of a rarity: a premiere viewing of a new(ish) silent film complete with original score as performed live by Houston's own invaluable symphonic oddball geniuses Two Star Symphony.

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Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray

As you already know, George Lucas has sold Lucasfilm to Disney. In turn, Disney immediately announced plans to release a new Star Wars film in 2015, and not just any Star Wars film -- not another CGI prequel, in other words -- but the next installment in the ongoing saga, the fabled Episode 7.

It's too early to get really excited about the project, but we can't help it. We love the original Star Wars trilogy, and were among the many, many people disappointed at how badly the prequels turned out. Well, okay, Revenge of the Sith was all right, but those first two really made us wonder what happened to George Lucas in the intervening years. How did one guy go from having a bounty hunter badass shoot an adversary dead in cold blood to writing lines like "Mooie mooie I love you!" for a digital frog-faced Stepin Fetchit?

Fears of our own softening and worsening with age as projected onto one filmmaker aside, the fact is that George Lucas won't be involved with Episode 7 as anything other than a creative consultant. That is great, great news. Writers Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan and director Irvin Kirschner gave us the best installment in the series, The Empire Strikes Back, so it's a proven fact that other people can work wonders with Lucas's material. Assuming the studio is smart enough to realize that doing Star Wars right and not letting hacks like Bret Ratner or Michael Bay anywhere near it will make them bazillions of dollars, this could be the resurrection that the fans have been waiting for.

So who should have the honors? Let's take a look at our ideal contenders.

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The Houston Press, and specifically this particular fanboy, is dedicated to bringing readers their best option for geekifying their lives. This week we present the best way to invite the Doctor to your wedding. Be sure to check out our other guides, such as steampunk Nintendo systems and horrifying baby clothes.

Before you have a wedding, you've got to ask the girl or guy if they're interested in doing an awful lot of running with you. Jeweler and CAD tech Gino Arizmendi designed this ring that symbolizes the Doctor's TARDIS. The main gem is a one carat Princess Cut stone in the center, but both sides use other stones to recreate the Police Box sign, windows, and instructions. Arizmendi makes them with diamonds or sapphires, and a men's ring is also available.

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I was out with a few friends the other day making future plans to meet, when I opened the calendar on my iPhone to find that I was really, incredibly busy. "I was busy," as in I had something to do every day of the week for the next century.

This was the first time that I had opened my calendar since updating my iPhone to the new iOS 6, Apple's latest software upgrade that was released last week, and I came to find out that one of its nifty new tricks is to add all of your Facebook friends' birthdays into your calendar. This may seem like a good idea, but do you really want reminders for all of your 700 "friends?" But that's not all I was busy doing. Additionally, the new system tentatively adds in every Facebook invitation you receive, so that you are reminded to RSVP for all of the 100s of Facebook invites you do your darndest to pretend you hadn't received.

I was unable to hide my horror and when I relayed this information to the group, one of my companions mentioned that she was refusing to update her software. She is the fourth person I have spoken to this past week that has told me this, and, apparently, she is not alone.

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One of the best Internet hoaxes of all time.

Last week, we inadvertently got taken by a Facebook post stating a collection of DVDs at Texas Children's Hospital had been stolen. Turns out, it never happened. Oops.

Sometimes, even the best of us get suckered by hoaxes of all kinds. There is a reason Al Gore someone invented Snopes. It's not just for relatives who think that Swiffer kills dogs or soda is used to clean engine parts. The whole episode got us to thinking about some of our favorite hoaxes perpetrated on unsuspecting web surfers, the best of which came via e-mail -- the best way to fake out a grandparent before Facebook arrived. Here are our favorites.

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Photo By Craig Hlavaty

In late 2010, I wrote about five porn stars that you should follow on Twitter. It was no easy task. A lot of the bigger actresses aren't much fun to follow (boring valley-girl pap), or worse, they pump followers to buy them stuff on Amazon by tweeting links to their "wishlists," which can get annoying.

Hawking their own Fleshlights is okay, though.

Even more interesting now has been watching the aftermath of the syphilis outbreak unfold, as actors and actresses talk back and forth about how they are dealing with the industry basically shutting down.

Two of the five girls I listed are now out of the sex-movie business, leaving behind the game for greener and more clothed pastures. The others are still rocking and rolling, and some even have Instagram accounts now.

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