No? Not funny? Okay, never mind then.

Today the domestic trailer for The Wolverine hit the Internet, with the film clawing its way into theaters on July 26.

That's like eons away. Months even. Did we ask for another Wolverine picture? I liked 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine just fine, but it's just that...I wanted a Gambit movie really bad instead of this. Imagine the Las Vegas tie-ins!

In this trailer, we find Wolverine -- Logan if you nasty -- back in Japan and fighting bad Japanese people. Well, would you look at that; he can survive a nuclear blast. The whole thing seems to be an excuse for Hugh Jackman to wear fancy black-on-black suits and to have an Asian girlfriend.

As you can already tell, I am a very learned Marvel scholar.

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forbes.com

Was that headline a clever ploy to unite Generation X and Y in solidarity with millenials? You're damned right.

Everyone from the first two groups can agree on the bushy eyebrows and bikini-clad bod of Kathy Ireland, who turns 50 years old today, and was ubiquitous in Sports Illustrated's best late '80s and early '90s swimsuit issues (thirteen of them in a row), and our creepy adolescent fantasies.

REWIND:

The 20 Best Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Covers

It was those gym shorts of Ireland's in Necessary Roughness, man.

Ireland could be called the Kate Upton (the current reigning pinup) of her generation, Upton has built an empire with her ample bosoms, powered by the magic of Twitter and the help of the jiggling GIF. No doubt if those all existed in the '80s, Ireland would have been noticed in an even bigger way.

Let this blog unite all three demos to behold the greatness of Ireland, who is now a powerful businesswoman, earning $2 billion in 2011 with her line of, well almost everything from home furnishings to wigs. She's traded SI covers for Forbes covers.

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Mustaches make their way at the Houston Facial Hair Club's annual competition.

Check out our slideshow of magnificent beards and mustaches.

When you think about fads in hair, you usually associate them with the female gender. It is women who fluff and style and buy expensive products for their 'dos, not men. Men who spend too much time worrying about their hair have been deemed "metro" or even a little on the "fem" side. But this ladylike connotation gets thrown right out the window when you start talking about facial hair, because facial hair is a manly, manly thing.

Saturday night, Walters hosted the Houston Facial Hair Club's annual competition, and the beards and 'staches were out in full furry force.

The Houston Facial Hair Club, Houston's local chapter of Beard Team USA, has the mission of promoting the love of facial hair while fighting the first-world problem of "facial hair discrimination." The club was founded by Kenten Marin in 2008 and has built itself into an established organization with roughly 100 members. The group meets monthly to chat about facial hair, grooming, new styles, upcoming competitions and everything else beard-related; members also drink beer, surprisingly enough.

Kenten Marin, the HFHC's founder

Tiffany Whitman currently runs the club and organized this year's competition. Whitman, despite being female and totally facial-hair-free, believes in the club and the rise in interest in men's facial coifs.

"I think facial hair is beautiful," Whitman says. Hear, hear.

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First off, the most confusing thing about this "Most Googled Women in the World" list for 2012 is that Kate Upton, Christina Hendricks and Kat Dennings are nowhere to be found.

I thought they were really popular chicks with men and women, or is that just on Tumblr? I mean, Kate Upton was a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover girl and has jiggle-power, and Hendricks is on Mad Men and loves scotch, which should give her Google diamond status.

Maybe since Upton was so well, everywhere, people didn't need to go out of the way to search for her anyway. Kate Upton nude upskirt nipple naked boobs tits ass vagina free iPhone free iPad.

Now maybe that will help her numbers out a little bit more.

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You probably know porn star Stormy Daniels from her quick scene in Steve Carell's The 40-Year-Old Virgin as Andy's fantasy fodder. She also has a handful of mainstream credits, mostly playing herself or some fictionalized version of herself.

She was also featured on HBO's behind-the-scenes series Pornucopia a few years back, filming the interstellar-porn comedy Space Nuts.

Or, you probably know her from more than 100 of her porn credits, you dirty, dirty sinner.

Since entering the business in the early '00s, Daniels has become one of the most high-profile, mainstream-friendly actresses in the industry, starring in hundreds of films and amassing a dedicated fan following.

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Hubba-hubba!

Patricia Richardson, who played Jill Taylor on Home Improvement for 204 episodes, was one of my first celebrity crushes of the '90s. What was it that drew me to her? I don't know. The voice, the hair, the domineering sneer, this Tim Taylor fantasy sequence?

When I found out she was on Twitter not too long ago and very active on the site, it reminded me of my weekly Improvement viewings and being oddly attracted to a plain Midwestern housewife who had to deal with a power tool-crazed pig while raising three very different children.

Remember their youngest son Mark turned out to be "goth" or whatever passed for "goth" on a hit ABC family comedy in the '90s?

Damn, come to think of it, I think the only people from Improvement that didn't have some sort of freaky deaky following were Wilson and the dudes from the hardware store. You know there was some lady out there with an Al Borland scrapbook.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger's new upcoming memoir, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, has a trailer that was just released on his official site and YouTube.

REWIND: The Best (Worst?) Pictures Of Arnold Schwarzenegger Ever

Trailers for books -- like those used for movies -- are not uncommon these days, with some of the action even played out like with moving pictures and stuff for people who don't like using their brains to imagine things.

Isn't that cheating somehow?

The trailer for Total Recall, which will no doubt be the more entertaining Total Recall of 2012 (hiiii-ohhhhh), looks like a commercial for a really involved Schwarzenegger episode of Biography more than an inches-thick autobiography.

Hopefully he will answer such questions as the identity of his father and what it was that did, and tell us how many times he saved California from falling into the ocean single-handedly during his time as governor.

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Photo By Craig Hlavaty

In late 2010, I wrote about five porn stars that you should follow on Twitter. It was no easy task. A lot of the bigger actresses aren't much fun to follow (boring valley-girl pap), or worse, they pump followers to buy them stuff on Amazon by tweeting links to their "wishlists," which can get annoying.

Hawking their own Fleshlights is okay, though.

Even more interesting now has been watching the aftermath of the syphilis outbreak unfold, as actors and actresses talk back and forth about how they are dealing with the industry basically shutting down.

Two of the five girls I listed are now out of the sex-movie business, leaving behind the game for greener and more clothed pastures. The others are still rocking and rolling, and some even have Instagram accounts now.

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The Straight Guys in "The Gourmands"

On Friday I showed you Ulysses S. Grant: All Star Gigolo, a faux trailer made by local comedy and video collective The Straight Guys, biting off the presidents-as-things-that-you-never-thought-about-them-being genre.

This past weekend, the new Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter grossed a little over $16.5 million, making it a modest hit, and the reviews seemed to be so-so, too, making it a probable midnight movie cult film in the future.

The group behind the clip is made up of a crew of comedy, movie and video production people from here in Houston. The trailer was just one of many that the Straight Guys have made since early 2010 and their first and extremely NSFW short film Poker Night. Since then they have made a video at least once a month, save for the three month hiatus proceeding Grant.

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Uh. Um. I thought Instagram was just trees, babies, and feet.

So what's with Miley Cyrus never wearing a bra in public? Or sometimes even no underwear (NSFW, duh) now that I think about it. I ask because every time I turn around, I see another tweet or gossip headline touting some "sweet" pics of the former Hannah Montana and newly-engaged spawn of Billy Ray cavorting in front of the paparazzi with her chest unsecured in obvious defiance all things decent and innocent in Hollywood.

It's hard not to notice. There is nothing between her and us but sometimes just a vintage T-shirt or a mesh top. Do we ignore it or call it and give her the attention she so richly deserves. We all dealt with Hannah Montana for five years, and now we need to keep caring?

Is this a teen star looking for more attention, titillation, or just an exercise in extreme comfort? Do bras hurt? Help me out here.

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