The 10 Hottest Scenes in Film (Where No One Takes His or Her Clothes Off)
Hollywood has been very kind to the millions of Americans that need something artsy to masturbate to. Of course sex and sexiness have had their place in art ever since the first cave man drew the first cave dick on the first cave wall, but in the Internet age there is no such thing as hidden and niche any more. Eventually, even the strangest and most out there fetish will be performed on a famous person in a project that cost millions of dollars.
For instance, I've seen Alicia Witt take a gerbil up the ass in Cecil B. Demented. No, I won't post a link to the video. Everyone should already own that movie.
What's most amazing to me is when Hollywood manages to titillate without the first three letters of that word. Sometimes, the sexiest things in existence are so hot they don't require nudity, beds, or simulated genital shenanigans at all. Such as...
I'm the first to say that I don't get the whole food/sex thing, and that goes double for something like crab. Watching Albert Finney and Joyce Redman in this scene is the notable exception to that. It starts off funny, but as they wordlessly eat this huge seafood spread, the two engage in an ever increasing series of lustful gazes and gentle touching that is more adept in sexual technique than most of us can pull off with years of practice and a bag full of props from Erotic Cabaret.
Kevin Costner is not exactly what most of us think when he picture manhood incarnate, but back in 1988 he pulled it off nicely. There's some great traditional sex scenes in Bull Durham, but none of them top Costner's sudden speech about what he believes in... most of which involves a much-man approach to human heterosexuality. Don't try pulling it off. You aren't 1988 Kevin Costner.
OK, granted, this is a sex scene and maybe it shouldn't count even though for the most part James McAvoy and Keira Knightley stay completely dressed for it in a kind of parody of British prudence. The reason I include it is because the absolute hottest part of the scene isn't the kissing or the brief glimpses of Knightley's back, but when we see McAvoy lift Knightley right out of her shoes. There's just something impossibly sensual about watching her foot pulled out of uncomfortable heels during an embrace.
Out of Africa
Some might think I've done a disservice to a list like this by leaving out the toe-painting scene in Bull Durham as an equally worthy candidate. To apologize, I give you Robert Redford washing Meryl Streep's hair in Out of Africa. It's an ultimate act of luxury and pampering that Streep starts out being amused by, but by the time Redford rinses her head she's pretty much putty in his hands. Also, Redford has got to be the only man in history that can use "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" as a pick-up line.
Silly people say dancing in film is a metaphor for sex. The truth is dancing is sex, period. Maybe not ballet, I'll admit, but the tango is always sex. Witness Salma Hayek and Ashley Judd proving it in Frida. When Katy Perry talked about kissing a girl I thought of this scene and imagined patting her on the head. Some people just don't understand true sexiness.
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