Dear America: Let It Go About Sagging Pants

Categories: Fashion
saggingpants2.jpg
failblog.cheezburger.com
If you want to keep reading, Wikipedia has a pretty extensive list on how many jurisdictions seem to feel that baggy pants are such a threat to society that we must take arms against them with laws. And do you know why these laws get passed? It's because of every overly vocal fashion-Dalek building a social consciousness where it's okay to hate someone over pants. We as Americans have literally sneered hard enough that we're willing to outlaw wearing clothes that reveal underwear in a country where Victoria's Secret lingerie models adorn the sides of city buses.

The first time I remember seeing sagging pants was way back in 1993. That's when a completely forgettable science horror flick called Ghost in the Machine came out, and I watched a teenage Will Horneff shrug down his pants to try and impress an older girl with how street and smooth he was. And yes, that was lame then and sagging pants are lame now, but that was 1993. If sagging was a person, it would be old enough to drink right now, and we are still passing laws against it as if suddenly it's going to manifest as a societal disease or something.

They won't. Sagging pants may not be proper court attire, but they aren't otherwise any more annoying or dangerous than fedoras, Ed Hardy T-shirts, or that weird lady I met who wore a used Chick-fil-A wrapper pinned to her vest as a sign of support for the company opposing same-sex marriage. Also, they have nothing to do with being a sign that you are willing to be anally penetrated by a fellow prison inmate. That's an old myth that confused causation with correlation. (Sagging began in prisons, where clothes don't fit well and belts are forbidden for many good reasons.) The more you read into that whole "sagging pants means you're looking for dick" thing, the more it plays out as a repressed homosexual fantasy by uptight closet cases.

After two decades, folks, it's time to take a stand and get over this hatred of sagging. Make like Elsa and let it go. You want a real clothing cause to pass laws about? Crocs. A 2008 U.S. Consumer Product Safety commission noted that of the 77 escalator entrapment incidents that had occurred since 2006, all but two of them involved Crocs. Kids get their feet mangled in escalators wearing Crocs, and I don't see people passing laws against people wearing them.

How many times have baggy pants caused an escalator incident? As far as I can tell, one.

Listen, part of the American experiment is a willingness to tolerate other people doing what we think is stupid as long as they aren't hurting anyone. All those laws that I mentioned have mostly been passed in the past five years. We've allowed a stupid pet peeve to grow up and actively start eroding civil rights for no good reason. It's time to move on.

Jef has a new story, a tale of headless strippers and The Rolling Stones, available now in Broken Mirrors, Fractured Minds. You can also connect with him on Facebook.


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50 comments
erin9von9mcintosh79
erin9von9mcintosh79

I absolutely agree with the author on this blog. I can understand, though, why some business owners would be annoyed with the trend. It might be a business-buster for them. 

It seems like our law system as been watching too much of 'America's Next Top Model' and put voting out fashion faux pas into use. 


Sagging pants, however, are comedy for me. I don't laugh at people, but when I am alone and spot someone doing it - it's a way to use the muscles in my stomach to get a grin on my face. But, do any of you REALLY think that only men of colour do this?!? C'mon! I live in Germany, and have lived in Austria and been to the Czech Republic, to the U.K., etc. There are LOADS of white European and foreign men doing it as well. Heck, I'm originally from the Deep-Fried South and I've seen more buck-toothed, saggy Wrangler-wearing Billy-Bobs wearing them and revealing no undies, but more than half of their naked butt-crack for all to see. *chuckle* So, my point is: stop stereotyping one group of popularly criticised people. Open up your eyes to see that many trends are not limited to one particular group - nor one nation, for that matter. It's one's own selective prejudice, which causes them to see things narrowly.


As for laws banning short skirts and saggy-bottom-boys: It's comedy for the rest of the world to see how America puts its laws to use. Our country needs to use Americans' tax dollars to implement more important laws than this. My personal realm has not been destroyed by what any person wears or how they wear it. " 'An it harm none, do as thou wilt."  


That's just my opinion.

charlierock62
charlierock62

This has got to be one of the most ridiculous blogs I've read.

Time to grow up Jef with one f. Most of the population of Houston would disagree with you on this topic.  All these idiots that are sagging are doing is sending a great big fuck you to society and I don't have to take it.......so I call them out and I love to see the look on their face when I do.

ricks724
ricks724

I have to confess that I couldn't care less. If some silly wanker wants to wear his pants like that it just gives me a chuckle.

fberner
fberner

I think people should just mind their own business and not focus on what other people are doing so much.  So what if their pants are sagging for kids are wearing pajama pants?  The more you make it a big deal then the longer the kids will keep doing it.

annbrownab
annbrownab

When men dress like this it helps to thin out the job pool because they label themselves as socially inept. It's a good thing for the rest of us.

Dave Walters
Dave Walters

Sorry Jef with one F...this is what you choose to form an opinion on...thanks for bringing down the curve...now to unfollow this crap

giovanni42374
giovanni42374

No.  I won't let it go as far as how I deal with it.

I run a business.  If you come in without a shirt or shoes, no service till remedied.  If you have your pants under your butt and underwear exposed, no service till remedied.

All 3 I ask to leave if they can't comply.  I reserve the right to refuse service.

I have ladies working in my office and I don't expect to put them have to see that just so I can make a buck.

Same goes for the same chumps who have to have a hand down their pants or are unable to speak without cursing every other word.



It's called respect for my employees, myself, and other customers.

khbrown87
khbrown87

I don't sag my pants. I think it looks ridiculous. These guys can't possibly be working 12 hour days dressed so inefficiently.

But as much as It disturbs me, I will not vote for the government to have any say in the matter. It is a sad day when the government controls how people wear their clothes. That's not a place I want to live or raise my child. Our freedoms shouldn't be so vastly outnumbered by the laws imposed on us. Land of the free.. and standardized dress.

thorwilliams1
thorwilliams1

it is well documented fact, many black men are on the downlow and seeking gay sex (thus the high rates of HIV in black females who are their partners).  i postulate that the sagging is a subconscious offering of their anus to the downlow community.


personally,  i am fine with it as it doesn't bother me but it is damn funny to watch them run from the cops when their pants are falling down.  then again, this group is not know for their high IQs


justROM
justROM

Sagging wear is an annoying fashion but it's a "fashion" it provokes the public and that's how teens to adults show their style and way to stand out from the norm. Besides being an annoying wear it's considered a fashion just like when women were wearing Daisy Dukes or assuming everyone can wear Spandex and still look good in them. Though people that wear the Sag wear should not be belligerent or homicidal when a "private institute" banns them or tells them to pull up their pants. An airport, shopping malls, cafe's, restaurants and any incorporated or personally own can tell who can enter their establishment. Sag wear should not be banned in the public let them look like walking penguins all day but it's the owner's rights of a private institute of who he/she can enter their establishment not the public's voice.

Pat149
Pat149

Sagging pants make you look really, really stupid. Sagging pants laws are really, really stupid as well. That said, I'd rather see underwear than,er, southern cleavage on either gender.

whateveryousay
whateveryousay topcommenter

Maybe I'll wear a flesh-tone pair of yoga pants instead....

Jimi Austin
Jimi Austin

I disagree with a ban in public, even though I think its a STUPID look. Private businesses should be able to set whatever dress codes they want however.

Brent Tisdale
Brent Tisdale

It's not about civil rights, it's about public decency. Why doesn't anyone see that without rules that civilization is just a footnote. We aren't a bunch of grazing animals, so grow up, quit whining, a try to look like you care.

jenbijou25
jenbijou25

Undergarments: Pronunciation: n-dr-gär-mnt, Function: noun : a garment to be worn under another. 

That usually means that I don't want to see it. I don't care if you are Kanye or the local crack dealer. I don't care how pretty it is or if you paid your taxes that year. 

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan topcommenter

Ah Jef, gotta disagree with you  on Ghost in the Shell. I happen to like that movie, and am also a fan of the two GITS anime series. Although I think that the voice actress from the series did a far better job of voice acting Motoko Kusanagi than the original movie's voice actress.

JoseStrummer
JoseStrummer

Methinks mebbe One Eff ""Get the fuck away from me" Jef has a...how do the French say it...penchant for peeping at man panties on the down low.

BeltWorld
BeltWorld

For me, it's got nothing to do with disrespect. I just don't wanna be sitting down eating a burrito somewhere and the only thing between me and some dude's dirty asshole is a thin layer of underwear. I look up and this shit is at my eye level while I'm eating. Pull them the fuck up. Get it? 

giovanni42374
giovanni42374

@thorwilliams1 1st, I don't like the "style".

But second, the fact that you try to perpetuate such an easy to debunk myth as fact surely shows whose IQ is low.

I bet you really believe it too, don't you?

JoseStrummer
JoseStrummer

Do note that you are attempting to rationalize public decency to a man-child who brags about walking around in the largest mall in Houston in a tank top that says "Get the fuck away from me"

Smedley
Smedley

HA! It's Opposite Day, so yes you do!

cfein
cfein

@JoseStrummer *Methinks* it's bizarre that anyone is still using that incredibly ancient image as a thumbnail. That would embarrass the average internet-literate 70-year-old. Also, *methinks* that using "methinks" in 2014 is pretentious and ostentatiously douchebagesque. Also... me knows that "penchant" has been part of the ENGLISH language for like 300 years. How old ARE you? "Mebbe" dates back to the 1930s, so at this point I'm thinking you're a really obnoxious time lord.

Me also thinks that somebody's talking much too much about man-panties for this to be a passing, casual interest.


Guess regressives are okay with passing laws regulating clothing styles, though. Not surprising. Kinda like... the Taliban. 

(There. The Taliban bit should annoy this f'wingnut.)

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

@JoseStrummer Oh, you're using latent homophobia to mock a fashion you don't like. HiLARious.

RecordScratch
RecordScratch

@BeltWorld

you just don't get it do you?

the more you hate it the more you will see it, dumbass

thorwilliams1
thorwilliams1

Plus, having read some of your articles you strike me as a bit of a wanna be hipster who "has lots of black friends", you know what I mean.

When you have 20 more years on this earth, you will understand how things work.

But right now, you are super liberal hipster dad, and that's okay too. You will grow up like the rest of us.

thorwilliams1
thorwilliams1

There is no other reason for a man to walk about with only a thin layer of cotton between himself and the world with his but pt exposed unless there was a latent homosexual desire.

Remember in the animal world female primates will display swollen buttocks in an attempt to attract suitors. This is very similar, why else would one go about with their buttocks on display?

You may not be aware as a white suburban male, there is a strong culture of downlow behavior among black men in America.

I am simply connecting the dots. It's okay, you are just a kid and may not know that much about the world.

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan topcommenter

@JefWithOneF @Hanabi-chan So sorry. :(  For some reason, short work weeks screw me up so much.


On topic, baggy pants look stupid, but it isn't as bad as a social problem as some people think. How comfortable can you be walking around in the knowledge that your pants can slide off at any moment?

JoseStrummer
JoseStrummer

It'd take alot more than one of Jeffy's talking pet hemorrhoids to annoy me, Chris. But thanks for trying.

JoseStrummer
JoseStrummer

No, ma'am. I'm using your latent homoeroticism to mock you for defending such a puerile and nasty affectation. Should I be snickering at your white liberal guilt instead?

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

And it was such a nice day

cfein
cfein

@JefWithOneF @cfein @thorwilliams1 Yup. I see garbage like that all the time, sadly, so I've built up some resistance. Usually written by people who refer to black women as, let's see, "Friedchickenisha" is one of the more memorable ones. A bigot is a bigot is a bigot is a stupid bigot.

cfein
cfein

@thorwilliams1 Okay. You win. Your prize: You still get to look like an obsessed crazy-person. Congratulations.

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

@thorwilliams1 You haven't proved anything. You stated some buzz words and assumed causation. 

thorwilliams1
thorwilliams1

Yeah you are just tossing that out there. I sure wish you could counter my statements instead of attacking me. Looks like I win by default since I see nothing to disprove my statements.

Just because you don't like what I wrote doesn't make it any less true.

cfein
cfein

@thorwilliams1 Just tossing this out there: I'm in my mid-50s and I think you sound like an obsessed crazy-person.

arrothiel
arrothiel

@thorwilliams1 Those primates LABIAS are what are swollen, not their buttocks. If you're going to reference something from nature, do your homework first.

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

@thorwilliams1 You compared black people to primates in the wild, so I feel safe to in ignoring you as a racist d-bag who I am amazed can work a computer.

Also, down low has NOTHING to do with freakin' sagging pants.

thorwilliams1
thorwilliams1

Everything I wrote has a factual basis. Google downlow and latent homosexuality. I have worked with young black men in a psych/correctional setting for a number of years so I think I have a bit of knowledge too.

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

@thorwilliams1 1. I'm 33, married, with a kid
2. I grew up in East Houston, so I'm pretty familiar with sagging
3. Literally nothing you just said had any basis in any fact that you didn't just make up out of your own, modestly covered, ass.

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan topcommenter

@JefWithOneF @Hanabi-chan There are movies that are so bad that they are entertaining in an odd way. Ghost in the Machine doesn't sound like one of them.

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

@JoseStrummer Ma'am... it's cute, you know? The way you think calling someone gay or a woman is somehow an insult. Or liberal either for that matter. 

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