Dear America: Let It Go About Sagging Pants
The first time I remember seeing sagging pants was way back in 1993. That's when a completely forgettable science horror flick called Ghost in the Machine came out, and I watched a teenage Will Horneff shrug down his pants to try and impress an older girl with how street and smooth he was. And yes, that was lame then and sagging pants are lame now, but that was 1993. If sagging was a person, it would be old enough to drink right now, and we are still passing laws against it as if suddenly it's going to manifest as a societal disease or something.
They won't. Sagging pants may not be proper court attire, but they aren't otherwise any more annoying or dangerous than fedoras, Ed Hardy T-shirts, or that weird lady I met who wore a used Chick-fil-A wrapper pinned to her vest as a sign of support for the company opposing same-sex marriage. Also, they have nothing to do with being a sign that you are willing to be anally penetrated by a fellow prison inmate. That's an old myth that confused causation with correlation. (Sagging began in prisons, where clothes don't fit well and belts are forbidden for many good reasons.) The more you read into that whole "sagging pants means you're looking for dick" thing, the more it plays out as a repressed homosexual fantasy by uptight closet cases.
After two decades, folks, it's time to take a stand and get over this hatred of sagging. Make like Elsa and let it go. You want a real clothing cause to pass laws about? Crocs. A 2008 U.S. Consumer Product Safety commission noted that of the 77 escalator entrapment incidents that had occurred since 2006, all but two of them involved Crocs. Kids get their feet mangled in escalators wearing Crocs, and I don't see people passing laws against people wearing them.
How many times have baggy pants caused an escalator incident? As far as I can tell, one.
Listen, part of the American experiment is a willingness to tolerate other people doing what we think is stupid as long as they aren't hurting anyone. All those laws that I mentioned have mostly been passed in the past five years. We've allowed a stupid pet peeve to grow up and actively start eroding civil rights for no good reason. It's time to move on.