Game of Thrones: "Your Father Lacks an Appreciation of the Finer Points of Bad Behavior."

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Nobody knows the Tyrion I've seen ...
You think *you've* had bad post-wedding hangovers? Imagine what the folks in Kings Landing are going through. Joffrey's body is barely cold and everyone's dealing with the aftermath in various ways: his family, the Lannisters, move on in their own fashion. From Tywin starting Tommen on his king lessons to Jaime and Cersei, uh, "rekindling" their relationship while their son's body sits in state, literally at (golden) arm's reach.

And then there's Tyrion. Arrested and left cooling his heels in the Black Cells, he attempts to figure a way out of his situation, not yet realizing the person behind Joffrey's death is also the one who's spirited his new wife out of the city.

Locations (* = new): King's Landing, Dragonstone, The Dreadfort, Winterfell, The Wall, Meereen

I'm willing to bet Kings Landing will be in every episode this season. Call it a hunch.

Ser(s) Not Appearing In This Episode: Bran Stark, Asha, Jojen and Meera Reed, Hodor, Theon "Reek" Greyjoy, Ramsay Snow, Roose Bolton, any dragons or direwolves.

The agonizingly choked out bile on Joffrey's cheeks isn't even cold by the time The Fool Formerly Known as Ser Dontos has spirited Sansa (Sophie Turner) to a rowboat and a waiting ship, and a waiting Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen), who expresses his gratitude by putting a few crossbow bolts into Dontos. Sansa, as always, is a bit taken aback by all this brutality, so he tries to assure her by telling her they're going to visit Aunt Lysa in the Vale. This should be fun.

The widow Margaery (Natalie Dormer) and Lady Olenna (Diana Rigg) discuss possible futures for the young almost queen. Neither are very nostalgic about Margaery's two failed marriages, with an exceedingly nonchalant Olenna assuring her, "The next one should be easier." Then again, given the frequency with which kings bite it in Westeros, this is probably a good approach.

So Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman) is king now, and grandpa Tywin (Charles Dance) asks him what virtues best befit a king: Piety? Justice? Strength? No, no, and no. It's wisdom, duh: "A wise king knows what he knows and what he doesn't." In one swift move, Tywin does a good job positioning himself as Hand for life. Meanwhile Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) pays Cersei (Lena Headey) a funereal visit. She asks Jaime to kill Tyrion, '80s vigilante style. He's got other things in mind (well, just one, really), and is indifferent to Cersei's protests. And here all you people had probably forgiven him for pushing Bran out the window.

Prince Oberyn (Pedro Pascal) and his "paramour" Ellaria Sand (Indira Varma) continue to "sample the whares" of Kings Landing. But then Tywin arrives to spoil the fun. He suggests Oberyn's knowledge of poisons might be of interest in the case of Joffrey's death. Then turns around to 1) ask Oberyn to serve as one of three judges in Tyrion's trial, and b) offer him a seat on the Small Council, promising to "serve justice to Elia's assassins." Meaning, we assume, the Mountain. Good luck with that.


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1 comments
jenbijou25
jenbijou25

I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one laughing at the "K-niggit" comment.

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