8 Obnoxious People to Avoid at I-Fest

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Photo by festivalculturalbr via flickr

Sometimes you feel like a faux-Aussie accent, sometimes you don't. At I-Fest, we don't.

The theme for this year's International Festival is Australia, which means that although you may be tempted to throw on your best Croc Dundee costume and head on up, you still shouldn't come anywhere near us, especially while a while shirtless and sporting a leather vest.

No one needs to see that, ever.

And no one should be doing any of the things below, either. So if you are even close to fitting into one of these obnoxious categories at this year's I-Fest, please be aware that we will be doing our best to avoid you by any means necessary


8. Double Stroller Dude
Oh, double stroller dude. You have the best of intentions, we're sure, but we're where you got the idea that any of this double stroller business was kosher for a festival. Did you not, at any point, look at that enormous baby-lugger and reconsider? Probably not, since you packed up two kids in that thing -- two kids who aren't mobile, by the way -- and then dragged the entire enormous, sticky package down to a festival, where you're now trying to push your entitled way through a massive crowd of people.

We know you heart your kids, and that's great, but they're bored and you're running over someone else's kid in the interim, since you can't see over the giant vehicle you're pushing. Not to mention that thing is like a screeching, barfing wagon of awful to anyone around you who may want to just sit there and check out the music.


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Photo by Joe Shlabotnik via flickr
7. Double Stroller Kiddos
Or any kids, really. Yes, your kid is cute, and yes, it's sooooo funny when Junior runs up into the middle of the Capoeira demonstration and try to show off their own skillz, only it's really not funny and it's actually highly obnoxious.

Listen, we're all for taking your kids to whatever you want, so long as we don't have to peel their sticky hands off of me or pretend to care. So if you're anything other than the parent of one of those kiddos, you may want to avoid them at all costs. And listen, maybe you'll want to avoid them even if you're legally responsible for them, and that's fine too. We don't know, and we sure ain't judgin' ya either. Babysitters exist for a reason.


6. Groups Of Overzealous Chicks With Cameras
We all know what happens when you're standing near a group of selfie-snapping women with iPhones, right? You inevitably get pulled in to take a picture or 80 of them with the stage in the background. It's always right in the middle of a decent song, too.

Listen, dears. The Wailers don't want you to take group-selfies with them as the background, and we don't want to snap them for you either. It's just wrong. All of it. So no, we will not tell you to "Say Facebook!" before we snap the photo. We're just going to back away slowly as we throw your iPhone at you in fear instead.


5. Hippies In Knit Caps
It's always wise to avoid the hippies in knit caps, no matter where you are, but it's especially wise to avoid them at a festival, unless you want to spend the entire time hypothesizing on things that are way, way too meta for festivals and day-drinking. So just avoid them at all costs...unless they've got the good weed, of course.


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8 comments
godette
godette

Wow, Angelica, you managed to hit some nerves.  

I totally agree with you on the kid issue; it's definitely the parents that are at fault. They see the price of their ticket as a pass to allow their little rugrats to behave obnoxiously.

And waiting for the comments from THOSE parents in three, two, one...

Bobby Mcandrews
Bobby Mcandrews

How about the 10 most obnoxious HP lists of 2014? These buzzfeed-esque lists make decent clickbait I suppose, but shite-arse content... why not x-post some shitty Hairballs review or something

manilovefridays
manilovefridays

So don't bring kids to I-fest? Really? I thought festivals like this were family-friendly. Anyways...author sounds like a really nice person. :/

HarryMonday
HarryMonday

Oh snap H Press manners police. Didn't realize you graduated from the etiquette academy already. (At any rate, associating with people you look down upon just to get free green also seems vulgar).

quin.theeskimo
quin.theeskimo

I've never heard anyone complain about our awesome international festival. Of all the crap to write about, why take a shot at iFest?


Zapcam
Zapcam

Speaking of obnoxious, who the hell is running Houston Press these days? I appreciate your articles on important political and cultural issues or your tips on good restaurants, whatever... But seriously, you guys need to stop posting all this pointless, snarky crap that serves no purpose except to say, "Look everybody! I'm annoyed with everything! See how clever and sarcastic I am at labeling all these First-World problems and irritations? I am SOOO cool!" Yeah, that's not obnoxious at all. GET A LIFE.



PolloDiablo
PolloDiablo

The author sounds like they would fit pretty comfortably into category three. It's a festival, relax, there's plenty of room for everybody to do their own thing and have fun in their own way.

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