5 Things Conservatives Think Liberals Don't Know (That We Totally Do)

Categories: Random Ephemera

I argue with people on the Internet professionally, and if that sounds like easy work, all I can say is that while it's better than emptying septic tanks for a living, you do actually contract more poop-borne illnesses doing it. The Internet is exactly what would have happened if the Wild West had laser cannons, except that in the Wild West, things would have eventually stopped burning. If you type the comments from a Yahoo News story into a graphing calculator, it charts a picture of screaming bat children.

Since many of the word jousts I find myself Don Quixote-ing through these days tend to be political, there's a curious phenomenon that I've noticed. On both sides there seems to be this idea that the other is simply ignorant of minor but tone-changing facts, and if only the opposite side can be hit in the face with these factoids like the final round of the fish-slapping competition, then it would see the light.

And in every case, at least from my fairly liberal standpoint, it always turns out to be something I know but could not give less of a monkey's poop fling about. Such as...

Library of Congress
Margaret Sanger Was a Racist Eugenicist
When a discussion about Planned Parenthood comes up, if the discussion goes on long enough, someone will eventually bring up founder Margaret Sanger's connection to the eugenics movement. If you don't know what that is, it was basically the scientific theory that we could improve the human race by weeding out undesirable traits through more selective breeding and better access to birth control. Of course, some folks took it a liiiiiiiittle further than that.

Yes, Sanger was a big fan of the idea that America and the world would be better off if the mentally handicapped shouldn't breed, and often regarded nonwhite races as inferior. She was a racist, and not a single liberal doesn't know that or really care about it. You know why? Because this is America. There is a slave owner on the dollar bill. Everything here was founded by racists. Literally everything we have here is a result of the less douchebaggy moments of racists. I wish Sanger had been a progressive bottle of rainbows, but the reality is that she was ten years older than Hitler and barely 15 years younger than the Emancipation Proclamation. Calling her on racism is like calling Dostoevsky on being a downer. You have to consider the time.

The Clintons Referring to Chelsea Clinton's Expected Child as a Baby
Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child, and when your dad is a former President and your mom is a former Secretary of State/potential presidential candidate, that is going to be big news. The entire Clinton family took to Twitter to announce how happy they were at the impending birth of the next generation, a move that brought about some rather interesting reactions from more conservative bloggers.

"I don't see them referring to it as a fetus!" seems to be the regular not-zinger hurled in comment sections, presumably in response to Chelsea's parents' both being very public in their defense of reproductive rights. The fact that such people can't distinguish between the biological physical development of a child and the emotional joy that comes with a planned and wanted pregnancy you have the means to see through to the birth of a healthy child is telling of the all-or-nothingness that dictates their lack of nuance. As I've pointed out before, they simply don't know what they're talking about.

This story continues on the next page.

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Yes suicides should deter people who are in favor of stricter gun restrictions simply because America is "Your rights end where my nose begins". With suicides taken out of the gun deaths statics it can be seen guns are quite safe and shouldn't be highly regulated simply because they often do not effect other people.

Suicide is a personal choice and I fail to see why MY rights should be restricted because of YOUR personal decisions that impact only you. 

Just like the large soda ban in New York. I fail to see why my right to determine my food choices should be limited because other people are making the personal choice to not eat healthy.

Patrick Chatelle
Patrick Chatelle

Ugh, wasted time... Should be titled, "My opinion is all that matters.". Liberal/Conservative tweaking, could be added after that, add a word drop a word who cares. Everybody wants to limit our choices or tell us what to think, and some want to promote social shaping and act enlightened.


The bit about Nazi gun laws has a typo:  It should be "it lifted a widespread ban on owning gun for anyone who was NOT a Jew or member of other ....."  Or maybe "it lifted ... for anyone who was a MEMBER OF THE NAZI PARTY ....."  The gun ban legislated under the Weimar Republic still applied to Jews and other non-Nazis, but Nazis were privileged to have guns under the Nazi law.


I am a Liberal in the sense that IDGAF

johnnybench topcommenter

That's all well and good regarding Sanger, but don't we still get to point out that Ayn Rand was a staunch supporter of reproductive rights and that Hitler was a vegetarian? 

Jimi Austin
Jimi Austin

Stick to restaurant, festival, and music reviews.


@johnnybench  Do I then get to point out that Hitler was an unwilling vegetarian because he was intolerant of meat and couldn't digest it?

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