Bigfoot Showing at Alamo Drafthouse Angers Cryptozoologists
Earlier this year Rick Dyer made the news by claiming that he had not only located Bigfoot outside of San Antonio, but that he has shot and killed the legendary creature. Now, he will be the guest of the Alamo Drafthouse as he presents the corpse for all to gawk and gander at in conjunction with a screening of a top secret Bigfoot-related film project to be announced later.
Manager Robert Saucedo calls it "quite possibly the greatest event I have ever been a part of in my short time as a programmer for the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema". He was avidly discussing the possibility of a Sasquatchploitation film festival at least as far back as last year's Comicpalooza. However, a significant number of cryptozoologists are asking that Saucedo cancel the event, claiming that Dyer is a conman.
There's a fair amount of evidence to back up those claims. Dyer became somewhat infamous in 2008 when he first started offering a Bigfoot carcass for perusal, a carcass that turned out to be nothing more than a frozen ape costume stuffed with opossum guts. There's also the matter of his 2011 arrest for eBay fraud, in which he allegedly sold two Corvettes that he never delivered.
"I can't speak for other cryptozoologists," said Ken Gerhard, author of Monsters of Texas and other books on legendary creatures. "But honestly, an electron microscope couldn't measure my infinitesimal interest in Rick Dyer, or his paper mache model."
In a brief interview earlier this week Gerhard, who has also tracked sightings of Bigfoot on the edges of San Antonio, said that the spot that Dyer says he tagged the beast was less than 2,000 feet from a Starbucks.
Dyer readily admits to the 2008 hoax, but says that the shame involved prompted him to go on a real hunt. He says he accomplished his task by nailing ribs to trees as bait and picking it off while it snacked. These, and other helpful tips on killing Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) will be part of the celebration at Alamo.
"Even before this event was officially announced, both the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema and my personal Twitter account were besieged with messages and warnings form a small but vocal community of Bigfoot enthusiasts who don't exactly agree with Dyer's claims or methods," said Saucedo. "Their weapon of choice? Youtube videos. I love how this group believes the best way to present their message to the world is by setting it to a heavy metal soundtrack. Head bang to the 'truth!'"
Despite the protests it looks as if Dyer's appearance at Alamo Drafthouse will go forward. After all, if Saucedo had the guts to host live alligators in the theater then a dead Sasquatch isn't likely to faze him no matter how many YouTube videos or angry tweets are sent to him. So if you want to see what someone claims to be the body of the missing link you will get your chance. I'd keep a close eye on my wallet, though.
An Evening With Bigfoot Takes Place February 24 at Alamo Drafthouse Mason Park.