Doctor Who: A Guide to Being a Less-Annoying Whovian

Categories: Doctor Who
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First, Doctor Who is not some hidden Great Good News. It is an international entertainment empire that broke box office records when "Day of the Doctor" played in theaters. It is quite literally everywhere, and while I know lots of people that have never watched the show I have rarely met someone that wasn't at least aware of it.

In commandment form, Thou Shalt Not Forget That Doctor Who is Still Just a Television Show to Most People.

Second, while the show is more than just a science fiction show, touching on mystery, horror, drama, and action-adventure, it really is not all that much better than most other television shows and movies, if it is at all. I love Doctor Who with all my heart, but there were episodes of Buffy, Pushing Daisies, and Twin Peaks that I will rate above even the best outing with The Doctor. Part of not being an insane fundamentalist is recognizing that legitimacy of other ideas.

In commandment form, Thou Shalt Not Diss Other Fandoms Out of a Misplaced Sense of Loyalty to The Doctor.

Third, the sheer number of Doctor Who T-shirts and merchandise from places like Tee Fury is mind-boggling. We outnumber almost everyone else combined. I know at least three people who have a Doctor Who shirt for every day of the week, and one of them is myself. If you saw someone wearing a different Christian-themed shirt seven days in a row you'd treat them like they were a little overzealous. I keep that in mind when deciding on a BioShock Infinite shirt in the morning instead.

In commandment form, Thou Does Not Need to Be a Walking Advertisement for the BBC.

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The most egregious sin of a manic Whovian is pestering others to watch the show. An initial, "Oh you should check it out!" is perfectly fine, but anything beyond that has echoes of condemnation to it where you start to assume ownership over another person's leisure time. Like a proper religious person, someone should see how much a show like Doctor Who makes you happy and desire to join in because of that. Not because you forced them to sit through a 45-minute episode.

In commandment form, Thou Shalt Remember That It's On Netflix Streaming and That Anyone Who Wants to Check it Out Can do So With Ease.

On the subject of language, know this; saying "Spoilers" in real life always makes you look like an idiot. Also, not every stone statue needs to be surrounded by cries of "Don't blink!"

In commandment form, Thou Shalt Not Annoy Others With Constant Inside Jokes Because That Makes Them Feel Left Out and Unhappy.

Finally, there's the fact that Doctor Who has taken over damned near anything. I know because I didn't have a costume to wear to the Renaissance Festival so I went as the Eleventh Doctor because, you know time travel.

I met two other Doctors there.

That's the problem. We've become like those folks who insist on a Nativity Scene at Christmas and lose their minds when Dr. Pepper doesn't include the words "under God" on their commemorative 9/11 soda cans. Every comic convention I have been to in the last three years is ridiculously Whovian-centric. While that makes me happy it does worry me that we're causing a split in the geek world and the entertainment world in general with our single-mindedness.

In short, now that the 50th is over it's time to lighten up a bit. Watch another show, buy another T-shirt, and talk about something else every once in a while. Your Facebook friends will thank you for it.

... the author said at the end of a 1,500 word article in a column he writes about Doctor Who once a week.

Jef has a new story, a tale of headless strippers and The Rolling Stones, available now in Broken Mirrors, Fractured Minds. You can also connect with him on Facebook.

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