Reality Bites: Big Tips Texas

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Three cheers for self-esteem.
I'm no Big City Breastaurant Manager, but it seems to me Typhani's (sigh) supervisory status might be improved if she didn't insist on mothering her employees when they aren't on company time. Then again, I don't supposed Redneck Heaven has anything resembling a "morals clause" in their employee contracts.

Besties Morgan and Kristyn are also fighting, but it's because Morgan got into the local rodeo and Kristyn didn't hear about it first. Morgan's bigger problem is she's a complete head case, more preoccupied with her pet goat than actually practicing her barrel riding.

Did someone say "barrel riding?"

Finally, Mimi's quote-unquote boyfriend Colton insists on telling Mimi's mom himself about the impending bundle of joy, and if you ever doubted at any point that this show was as clumsily scripted as any other on "Music Television," Mama's clumsy segue from shock to anger to acceptance at the news is enough to make Elisabeth Kübler-Ross stick a shotgun in her mouth.

I've got to hand it to them, Viacom really has their shit wired. By finding these insecure, proto-alcoholic females and enabling their self-destructive desperation for acceptance from every man with a functioning set of genitals, MTV is effectively breeding the next generation of viewers. Who will, in turn, become the next wave of MTV reality stars. And so on. And so on.

That ain't workin', man, that's the way you do it.

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