There Is a Bra That Tweets and I'm Glad I'm Not Wearing It
As October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, there seems to be no shortage of bright pink reminders that ladies should be feeling themselves up on a monthly basis in order to check for potential lumps. It's a worthy cause, and self-examinations can save lives. Check.
But what if all this pink means nothing to you; what if -- and no judgment, we all lead busy lives -- you need an additional reminder? What if you needed a reminder to keep on top of your boobs every time you unclasped your bra? Well, guess what? This exists.
Nestle Fitness, a subsidiary of the Nestle company, has just introduced a tweeting bra that ships off a tweet with every undoing. The bra, which is not for sale, is being worn by Greek celebrity Maria Bakodimus, and when she takes the boulder-holder off, a tweet is sent off to the @tweetingbra feed reminding women to cop themselves a feel. When you follow the feed, you too are reminded. The clasp is fitted with a bluetooth sensor that ships off the tweet automatically.
In the video for the bra, Bakodimus states that it's Nestle Fitness' mission to "deliver the life-saving message to everyone." What Bakodimus does not say is whether she has been wearing the same bra every day for the past month in order to drill home that mission or whether she's been occasionally washing it. Even more so, can you wash a bar with a bluetooth transmitter?
The whole concept, while in good faith and for an excellent cause, is a bit ridiculous. A tweeting bra? Naturally, it got my weird brain turning and I got to thinking of tweets that I could imagine my bra sending out over the years -- maybe yours too.
"Bras are for girls with boobs, sweetie."
"I'm obviously stuffed with toilet paper."
"It's under the shirt, over me. Over me!"
"Just help him take it off and make all our lives less awkward."
"Second base, huh? On the first date? Wow. Wow."
"Well, stop buying me at Kmart then."
"No. You definitely can't wear that shirt without me."
"Am I really that uncomfortable? Geez, you make it like I am filled with nails or something."
"You can try and convince yourself all you want, but I am telling you that you don't fit into me anymore. Why do you think you are hanging out all over the place?"
"I wish I could hold all that up for you, but they just keep falling down."
"I can only do so much, the rest is up to nature."
"Yeah, I would just keep me on for the rest of the night. He doesn't want to see that."
What would your bra tweet about you?